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Episode: To Helicon and Back
Author:
CN Winters
Fandom:
Subtext report, Xena Fanfiction, Xena and
Gabrielle fanfiction
Author
Note: Many of these reports are littered with errors
because I wrote them quickly and 'on the fly' so I could post
them quicker to the 'Nutforum' back in the day.
Feedback:
Drop me a line at cnwinters71@yahoo.com.
To Helicon and Back
Did you see the
spoilers on the USA page? No? Good...because someone better
start watching the WHOLE episode before they write these
little reviews. Xena doesn't get 'arrowed'. Xena and Gabby
don't embrace and get interrupted. I will say this - Liz
Friedman, former X:WP producer and resident lesbian, wrote
this ep. And like the famed scripts of alt fan fiction writer
Missy Good the script left little in the way of subtext. Still
in light of this it was a decent ep. From what I read on
Whoosh it was the longest ep they've ever shot and lots of
stuff was cut out in the final edit.
So to make the
report easier on me(G), I'm gonna list USA's version and tell
you 'what's wrong'(VBG). Trust me...this will be fun. I
promise. (VBG)
Xena (Lucy Lawless)
and Gabrielle (Renee O’Connor which USA studios doesn’t
list!! Don’t they know I love Gabby? Can’t they mention
the actress of that role too!!! Sheesh! Sorry…anyway) return
to the Amazon village to celebrate the naming of Varia as new
Queen of the Amazons. Since the ceremony is restricted to
Amazons, Xena agrees to sleep in the forest while Gabrielle
enjoys the festivities. ( Sidenote before leaving Xena turns
to Gabby and says, "Don’t do anything I wouldn’t
do" (ROTFL) Doesn’t Xena trust her gal with a bunch of
half naked buff women dancing and drinking wine all night
long.) That evening, Xena gets a feeling that the Amazons are
in danger and heads for the village. The celebration is
crashed by a mysterious masked warrior and his men, who ride
in proclaiming "death to the Amazons!" Xena's battle
cry suddenly fills the air and the masked warrior, recognizing
it, easily blocks her chakram before kicking her. (Xena even
gets a bloody nose..ooooo (VBG)). When Varia charges him, he
knocks her unconscious and tosses her on his horse before
hurling an axe at Gabrielle. As Xena dives for the axe, the
warriors disappear with Varia. (Nope sorry folks, I didn’t
see any axes heading that way. Xena and Gabby just
‘survey’ the damage after evil ugly dude grabs the queen
and calls a retreat so ‘the amazons would come to them’.)
Looking for clues,
Xena studies the masked warrior's axe and concludes that it's
from Helicon. Determined to rescue Varia, the Amazons insist
that Gabrielle lead them to Greece. Xena declares that she
will battle the leader and disengage the catapults, but
Gabrielle, anxious about Xena's safety, reminds her that the
masked warrior was a tough adversary. Meanwhile, Varia is
thrown in a castle dungeon (in truth it’s more like the
castle tower but whatever) and approached by the masked
warrior, Bellerophon (Craig Parker), who smiles smugly when
she insists that her tribe will rescue her. In his command
room, Bellerophon orders that the catapults be loaded and
tells his Lieutenant to watch out for Xena. (Nope this part
doesn’t happen).When Bellerophon is alone, Xena lunges out
of the shadows and punches him. (Yes this does happen) Unfazed
by her blows, Xena deduces that he must be half-god and he
confirms her hunch, informing her that his mother was Artemis,
the greatest Olympian who taught the Amazons all they know and
then abandoned her. (Well they were close on this one – Xena
deduces he’s half god when he punches her and sends her half
way across the room.(LOL)) Bellerophon and Xena face off
again, but he gains control and holding a dagger to her
throat, vows that she and the Amazons will pay for murdering
Artemis. Knowing she is presently no match for the warrior,
Xena gives him a head slam, freeing herself from his grasp,
and flees through the window taking one of his guards with
her. (It should be noted here that Xena and the guard fall
into the water below) Furious, he orders his men to arm the
catapults.
Out in the ocean
that night, the guard attacks Xena with a knife, but a shark
takes hold of him and she is spared. (Again…doesn’t
happen.) Relieved, Xena suddenly recognizes the Amazon boat
burning in the distance. (Now here’s where we have something
different. Gabs is with the amazons who are all scared on the
boat. One amazon says feels like Joxer taking on the dryads (LOL).
He’s a legendary coward!(LOL) Wonder why Vigil hadn’t
heard these rumors. Oh well, Gabby tells her everyone is
scared – some are just better at hiding it. The catapults
start to fire and blow the back of the ship apart. Xena pops
up out of the water to see the ship burning. And her first
word is….yep you guessed it….Gabrielle(VBG). The warrior
luvs her bard wery, wery much (VBG).
With many Amazons
dead and others being eaten by sharks (yes their dead but no
shark attacks), Gabrielle tells Gwyn-Teir (Kirstie O'Sullivan)
that they are taking the beach. As the women step onshore,
they are bombarded with arrows and catapult fire. Looking to
Gabrielle for direction, she sends one of the Amazons out to
clear a path and tells the others to stay close. The Amazon is
hit, but the explosion clears the way for them. When Xena
emerges from the water (yelling for Gabby of course),
Gabrielle tries to relinquish leadership to her, but Xena
declines insisting that the Amazons will not listen to her.
Back at the castle, Bellerophon informs Varia of the bloodshed
and threatens to execute her and the rest of her tribe unless
she kills Gabrielle. (Well that’s what he does but we the
viewers don’t see it. He says he has a plan for Varia)
Scanning the beach, Xena notices a trench that would provide
good cover and races towards it, deflecting a missile with her
chakram. (Nope doesn’t happen – all the amazons stay
huddled together) Gabby picks one to be the ‘diversion’
and everyone knows what it means. She’s gonna be the amazon
they use target practice on. The amazon agrees to give her
life to get her sisters up the hill. As she runs she’s
struck with arrows and the catapults are fired. Now that they
have to ‘reload’ the remaining amazons run up toward the
hill.) On Xena's signal, the Amazons run for the gully, but
Gwyn-Teir is wounded in the process and Xena grabs her and
carries her to safety. (The firing stops and one of the
amazons says they’ve gotta run for it. Gabby says no
that’s what they want. Foolishly she doesn’t listen and
runs. She gets arrowed and ‘flamed’. Xena says she’s got
an idea and rushes up the hill. She throws her chakram and it
hits the catapult blowing up the men so the amazons can move
closer.) Just then, Varia appears blindfolded and joins them
in the trench claiming that Bellerophon said a queen should
die with her tribe. Varia insists that they retreat, but
Gabrielle disagrees, fearing that they will be destroyed if
they don't act now. Doubting Xena, Gabrielle agrees to go with
her plan of building a raft to save the wounded (because
they’ll have to go back into the water to get to the castle.
Gabby thinks hauling around the injuried will slow them down
but Xena says they can’t just leave them and Gabby finally
agrees.) Meanwhile, Varia surveys her injured sisters and
tells Gabrielle she has a job for her. (Nope doesn’t happen)
As Xena and Tyro
(Madeleine Sami) finish the raft (actually it’s just Xena),
they notice Gabrielle struggling to grab Amazon weapons at the
water's edge. (Nope. Gab’s disappeared and Xena doesn’t
know where. When she goes in search of Gab she finds Gabby
trying to run up the hill Varia came from to find a way into
the castle so they won’t have to take to the water. As Gabby
slinks along Varia takes aim on her with a bow. Xena steps up
and yells to Gabby to run. Gabby sees Varia then the
catapults. She’s hauling serious @ss as the explosions go
off behind her. Xena reaches Gabrielle and pushes her out of
the way just before she is hit by a catapult. (Nope doesn’t
happen. Gabby makes it on her own and boy is she PI*SED (LOL).
With the Amazons on Gabrielle's side, she agrees to let Varia
accompany them, but declares that she is no longer Queen.
(Yeah but that’s not before Gabby says she’s gonna leave
Varia there. Xena says they can’t do that and once more Gab
reluctantly agrees.)
That night, after
moving the wounded Amazons by raft, Xena stabs one of
Bellerophon's soldiers with an arrow and he begins to groan.
Gabrielle approaches ready to kill him, but Xena puts the
pinch on him instead, silencing his whimpering. Shocked by
Gabrielle's steely resolve, Xena rides to Bellerophon's castle
and challenges him to a one on one brawl. Bellerophon agrees
and the two struggle. He lunges a rock at Xena that hits a
crossbow, releasing two arrows that shoot her in the back.
(NONE OF THIS HAPPENED (LOL) Okay, yes they move through the
water but that’s about it. Sharks begin to circle them and
Gabby takes one of the dead/wounded off the raft. She says a
little prayer and sends her floating on her way. The sharks
eat her instead and Gabby doubts what she’s done. Xena cups
Gabby’s face and asked if she’d want the amazons to do the
same with her if need be. Gabby agrees she’d give her
life/body to keep the other safe. Once on land, Xena tells
Gabby that Gabby needs to ‘rally the troops for battle’.
She tries to comfort Gabby but Gabby doesn’t want coddling.
She has to stay strong to keep her amazons alive. Gabby gives
a speech to motivate them and Xena goes to Bellerophon to put
their plan into motion) After a one on one face off at the
castle Xena lets him get the better of her. Seemingly
stricken, she pulls herself up onto Argo, who carries her into
the woods. Bellerophon and his men pursue her, unaware that
she feigned her injury, and are suddenly ambushed by Xena and
the remaining Amazons. With some fancy flips, Xena has
Bellerophon at her mercy and the warrior begs for her to kill
him. (Nope – Xena asks him to walk away with his life and
stop the killing.) When she refuses, he secretly pulls out a
dagger and lunges at her, but she turns just in time and he
impales himself on her sword. (Seems he thought being half god
made him unstoppable. Xena ‘reminded’ him the hard way
that’s he’s half mortal and he dies). Stopping Gabrielle
from any more killing, Xena tells her it's over and the two
embrace. (Nope – Gabby is chasing down a solider and when he
falls she gets ready to impale him. Xena yells and Gabrielle
stops, letting him run away. ) Their moment is interrupted by
a victory celebration, which Xena and Gabrielle happily join.
(Nope – nobody is happy at the end of this one. Gabby’s
forever changed by war, the amazon nation is about 15 women
now and we fade to black).
I’m not sure if I
like this one or not….well yes there were parts I enjoyed.
It was their ‘war’ homage ep if you ask me, ‘Apocalypse
Now’, ‘Saving Private Ryan’, etc etc. Not a bad ep but
not wonderful either. I think I’d still rather see that long
awaited Sappho ep…even though I like my script idea better (VBG).
CN Winters
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