Episode: Little Problems

Author: CN Winters

Fandom: Subtext report, Xena Fanfiction, Xena and Gabrielle fanfiction

Author Note: Many of these reports are littered with errors because I wrote them quickly and 'on the fly' so I could post them quicker to the 'Nutforum' back in the day.

Feedback: Drop me a line at cnwinters71@yahoo.com.

Little Problems

I love Gabby! Have I mentioned that? Gods know it’s been quite some time since I’ve been able to say that (VBG). But it’s true. Gabby’s the best. Now, on to our tale.

A group of thugs try to take off with some of Aphrodite’s jewel. That is until ‘WE’ arrive. And by ‘we’ I mean Xena and Gabby. It’s nice to see Xena use the word ‘we’ will stop you instead of just ‘me’. Seems she sees Gabby as an equal now and not the young maiden that needs to be saved. Even after the fight is over and Xena and Gabby have thwarted the thieves efforts, Xena doesn’t even ask Gabby if she’s okay. That’s actually a good thing because she’s realized Gabby does just fine on her own ‘Thank you very much’.

Anyway, Dite shows up and thanks the girls. She makes mention that she gets the jewels from the folks who are using her temple as a hospice. Xena and Gabby are not impressed of course but it’s nice to see people are being taken care of regardless of the fact Dite reaps the benefits.

There they see a little girl named Daphne (like the red-haired chick from the cartoon Scooby-Doo (VBG) ) and Xena makes the remark that she would switch places with her if she could. Since the girl has given up the hope to live Dite figures what the hey. It could be just what the little girl needs and the goddess zaps them. Problem is Xena collapses and the little girl now has her spirit and Xena’s in the same body. Of course, ever protective Gabby is a bit miffed that her girlfriend is now in the body of an 8-year-old but Dite pretty much says these things happen. Chill! She’ll fix it . . . somehow.

At that moment the girl’s dad shows up and claims the girl since she’s now conscious. Gabby tells him ‘I have a friend in your daughter’ (LOL) (See? That’s subtext – not the kind we are used to but one phrase that has two meanings. Thought I’d just throw that out there for the ‘subtext impaired’ (G) ). Anyway, dad and little girl leave the hospice and Gabby tells Dite they have to move Xena to safety. But does Dite help? Heck no! She might break a nail. (LOL)

Gabby has to carry Xena (and child) on a litter to a cave. Reluctantly, and after Gabby has carried Xena most of the distance, Dite helps lift her to a rock ledge. With that done, amazon and goddess plan on ways to help the warrior. Back at evil dude camp, a guy Xena did battle with employs the thieves it seems and he wants ‘revenge’! How trite, huh? Well, yeah, but the ep’s still holding water at this point (BG).

And as for the little girl she’s found out that her mother has died and Xena helps her work through her grief.

The evil dudes find Xena and Gabby puts up a fight against them. She looks so beautiful during this fight and even though ROC says she’s buffed down a bit you’d never notice. Poetry in motion folks – the woman is gorgeous (VBG). Anyway, Gabby beats up the baddies and goes over to Xena and says she wishes she had seen that (VBG). In the onset Gabby and Dite are going to go to a Gemini (twins) party to get some ‘Castor oil’ from Zeus’ twin brothers. Dite goes to place a spell on the cave so no one can get in to get Xena and Gabby goes back and promises Xena she’ll bring her back and strokes her hair (Ahhhh . . . One of those sweet moments that we like to see between the girls has returned if only for a moment (VBG) ).

The little girl is in the market with her dad when a horse and wagon get out of control. Little girl (AKA Xena) saves the day and the thugs witness it. They are convinced that the little girl is Xena and rush back to tell evil head honcho. He wants the little girl captured and brought to him. Later after an argument with her dad (he won’t tell the girl how her mom died) she runs away into the woods. The thugs ‘think’ this will be easy but the little girl whoops their butt all the way home (LOL).

Gabby and Dite at this point have conned their way into the Gemini party posing as Swedish twins. They see Castor and his twin after watching a female oil-wrestling match. The shots of the woman’s face between another woman’s thighs were enough to make the queen of subtext blush (LOL). Okay it takes a lot more than that but I have to admit it was a bit degrading. Dite was enjoying the match but Gabby was all business. After all she had a pair of thighs she’d likes to be between that she had to save at the moment (VBG). Okay! Okay! That’s a cheap joke and I’m better than that . . . Well actually no I’m not (VBG).

Anyway Dite and Gabby find the stud boys with the oil and challenge them to a match. They agree. Well hell if ROC or Alex wanted to oil wrestle would you say no? (LOL) Yeah I thought soooo (VBG). Anyway, round this time Daph has found out that her mother drown while saving her and she feels guilty. Daph and Xena have a heart to heart talk about being a parent and having parents, etc., etc. And evil dude goes after the girl’s dad to use as bait to snare ‘little Xena.’

At this time Gabby and Dite are in the ring wrestling with the ‘twins’. Dite is enjoying herself immensely while Gabby is trying her damnedest to meet her goal – the castor oil. When the girls do win Gabby makes a statement to how degrading this kind of competition is. She snatches the oil from Castor’s belt and drags the goddess out of the party. Gabby returns to ‘little Xena’ and tells Xena that she was at Daph’s house and found a note saying the girl’s dads been taken. ‘Xena’ tells Dite to get to her body and use the oil. Dite then vanishes and ‘Xena’ and Gabby go to evil dude’s house. Of course they have to ‘get there’ so Gabby takes Xena to one of the guards and asks if he’d like to buy some cookies from her little girl for the junior amazons. (LOL) When he smiles and says sure. ‘Xena’ puts the pinch on him!! WooHoo!! I’ve waited since last year for the pinch – you don’t know what you’ve missed until it’s gone I tell ya. (VBG) Anyway, they learn the ‘secret hideout place’.

"Xena" frees her dad while Gabby battles the ugly bad dudes and they start to make their way out but get separated. ‘Xena’ ends up doing battle with the top evil villain this week – she wins of course. Gabby battles the evil army – she wins of course. And when Dite shows up she bring little girl and Xena, fully restored to the bard and the girl’s father. All is right with the world as father and daughter ‘bond’. We even get to see a little warrior/amazon bonding at the beach too. Ya know, that touchy feely stuff. Xena and Gabby talking about kids being lovable or something along those lines and Gabby points out that she’ll see if Xena still feels that way when this child is a teenage. So it’s obvious Gabby is in this ‘relationship’ for the long haul. Xena, who was walking with her hand affectionately, placed on Gabby’s neck gives it a squeeze to ‘keep her in check’. It was a nice little wrap up end like we used to know. Love is in the air folks. Love is in the air (VBG).

Plus they used the pinch so maybe my theory that the pinch is what’s missing really is true (LOL). Or it could be that we are done with the writers who did the Herc scripts last year. Just because you write Herc doesn’t mean you can write Xena. She’s not just a female Herc as some might think (VBG). With RJ at the helm now. Chris as a producer and Mr. Lucy Lawless out of his ‘dark mood’ I have faith that things will improve greatly. But that’s just MHO. Next week we go into repeats so it’s Fallen Angel. . . Again. Gotta love that Gabby face stroke in the final act (VBG).

CN Winters