Title: Changes of Heart Pt. 5

Author: CN Winters

Fandom: Xena Fanfiction, Xena fanfic, Xena fan fiction, Xena and Gabrielle fanfiction, Xena fiction

Rating: PG to NC-17

Disclaimers: These characters aren’t mine. They belong to Mr. Tapert and Co. I’m just borrowing them to vent. It’s not a happy tale and it involves two women who once loved each other deeply. If either of these facts disturb you don’t read this tale. Also it contains spoilers for the last few eps of season five.

Author Note: Like most Xena Gab shippers season five was a joke and the ender, with Xena hitting Gabby in the head with her chakram was the straw that broke the camel's back. I wrote this series in response to my anger and the total character assignation of season five. Enjoy!

Synopsis:  The warlord Siscerus lays tries to lay siege to a small village but not if Xena, Gabrielle and Eve have anything to say about it. Also, Gabrielle learns that Eve is physically her daughter too. 

Feedback: Drop me a line at cnwinters71@yahoo.com.

Changes of Heart Part V

RECKONING

Gabrielle paused a moment, watching Xena giving instructions to the archers that stood on the wall, pointing left and then right. She watched as the men nodded and Xena gave her ‘well done’ grin before she walked away. She still looks damn sexy up there bossing the troops around. But should I meet her now or just wait? Gabrielle paused a few more moments as she watched Xena conversing with the soldiers. Go on Gabrielle. Get up there. Don’t second-guess yourself now.

Xena saw Gabrielle starting to make her way up the ladder to the top of the city wall. 

"Hold on," the warrior called down to the bard.

With one leap and a flip, Xena landed a few feet from Gabrielle on the ground. She stumbled a bit, but never lost her footing. "Still haven’t gotten adjusted to the arm problem yet." Xena grinned bashfully at her lack of coordination. "But I’m getting better these last few days. I don’t fall on my ass anymore."

Gabrielle chuckled. "All black and blue?"

Xena chuckled herself. "You know I’d offer to show you, but that might be pushing my luck a little too much." Gabrielle smiled in response. "I’m glad you came over here," Xena added when Gabrielle didn’t interject more.

"Yeah, well," Gabrielle answered as her toe dug into the dirt nervously. "I was in the neighborhood."

Xena cleared her throat. "I want you to know that what I said earlier... about Eve being your daughter... It’s not a ploy of any kind, Gabrielle. I just thought you deserved to know the truth. And as for Ares, the reason I believe him is because it makes sense. I mean Eve’s your daughter because of the meld he did by putting us in one body. That, along with the fact that her gestures are so similar to you it’s unnerving at times."

Gabrielle nodded, but still continued to look at the dirt on her boot instead of meeting Xena’s eyes. When she did muster the gumption to look up she was meet with the grinning warrior who took a few steps closer.

"Thank you for telling me," Gabrielle said sincerely. A few moments passed and Gabrielle pondered, "Does Eve know?"

"She knows." Xena grinned. "In fact, she’s asked me lots of questions about you; about us. I told her everything. I was completely honest with her."

"Completely?"

"Yes, completely," Xena answered soundly. "It wasn’t easy because it’s not all pretty. She read your scrolls about ‘the great warrior princess’. I think it was difficult for her to see that her mother isn’t that great. Her mother’s done some pretty painful things to her mom at times. But I thought she deserved the truth."

"Xena, you’re not a monster," Gabrielle answered upon hearing the warrior’s regret. "You can be harsh, stubborn and over reactive at times, but... Hell like I should talk," Gabrielle said with a light laugh as she rolled her head around to relieve her growing tension. "Point is... You ‘are’ a good person. I just hope you told her about the good times too."

"I did." Xena grinned. "In fact, I’ve become quite the bard since you’ve departed," she teased. "It’s a position I hope you will fill again since you do it sooo much better than I do... but I realize you have a new life and a new... lover... So I’m trying to walk a very thin line here... I mean, she is your lover, isn’t she?"

Wondered how long it would take you to ask. "I really don’t think that’s any of your business, Xena." Gabrielle smirked.

The warrior looked down in shame. She’s right. It’s not. She’s the one who’s free here ... I’m the one who’s holding on.

Gabrielle couldn’t see the pain in Xena’s eyes, but everything else conveyed an utter defeat - the pouting lip, the slumped shoulders. Oh enough is enough. No more games.

"She’s not my lover," Gabrielle answered breaking the silence, relieved by the fact she was being truthful. "Eponin wants the job, but ... " But what? I still love you. I still want to be a family. I still- "it just doesn’t feel right." Good answer. Truthful yet non-committal.

Oh thank you Eli. "Then what DOES feel right?" Xena asked, trying her damnedest not to smile at the news. "What would make you happy?" Please say me. Please say me.

Gabrielle gave a deep sigh. You. Like we were. Long ago. "I’m not sure. I just remember the first few years that we were together... All the faith. All the trust. I miss that. We haven’t had that for a long time. In truth, I think that’s what bothered me most about the whole incident with Antony. I watched you ‘falling in love’ all over again. But this time it wasn’t with me. You undressed that man with your eyes. And I couldn’t remember the last time you looked at me that way... But it’s more than just sexual longing."

"What else is there?" Xena asked. When Gabrielle raised her eyebrows at the question, thinking she was treated as a sex object and nothing more, Xena shook her head and hands to try to curb another shouting match. "Sorry, came out all wrong." Xena grinned. "I mean... what other things do you miss when you say ‘more’?"

"What is it that you think I miss?" Gabrielle countered.

"Oh no," Xena shook her head. "If I put my foot in my mouth it might end this peaceful discussion in a hurry."

"Okay," Gabrielle answered. "How about right now, for example? I ask a question, but I can’t seem to get an answer. That’s happened quite a bit over the past year. You seem ‘afraid’ to talk to me. And that really hurts me, Xena. There was a time when we could talk about ANYTHING with each other and we did."

Xena considered it and nodded her agreement. "I think that’s true. We haven’t talked to each other for a long time... For quite awhile I felt we couldn’t relate to each other. It seemed easier to be quiet than to ‘rock the boat’. We were changing - growing apart instead of together."

"Why?" Gabrielle asked.

Xena paused a moment. "Because... you weren’t the girl I fell in love with any longer."

"And you fell out of love with me? Why didn’t you just tell me that Xena? Why go on together?"

Xena sighed as she noted the rise in the bard’s voice. Things were heating up again and she had to find a way to cool it.

"I never stopped loving you Gabrielle... I just felt ‘different’ from you. We both fought for the greater good at one point. The key word is ‘fought’. You no longer wanted to fight and felt peace was the key to happiness... I couldn’t see it that way. I felt belittled when you talked about all the violence in the world. I started to feel like part of the problem instead of the solution. I’m not sure you understand and I’m not sure how I can explain it... All I know is that I was scared. The woman I love and respect more than anything ... no longer respected me."

"I never stopped respecting you," Gabrielle answered on the verge of tears.

"No, but you disrespected everything I stood for. I’m a warrior. I make war upon people who harm others, like this village. I had no place on your path."

"I gave up that path," Gabrielle countered.

"Yes, I can see that now," Xena agreed. "But that worry was still there for long time - the worry that perhaps you’d realize that peace really was the way. And we’d drift apart even further than the first time. But I did realized that you did choose the path of the warrior, like I did, and then that bothered me."

"You felt unhappy that I became a warrior?" Gabrielle asked, getting a little lost in the conversation. "I’m sorry, but I don’t understand. We’re on the same path again, Xena."

"I’m not unhappy really," Xena replied looking above to the stars, trying to form the proper words. "I felt... worried... that something would set you off. Somehow you would use your warrior talents against the greater good. Somehow you would... become me, or at least what I ONCE was. And when Ares took a sudden interest in you, that didn’t make me feel any better. He saw it too - that spark, that fire - and that weighed on my mind. So instead of coming together I felt pulled apart. Torn. I wanted you to have a place in Eve’s life... But I needed someone I could depend on."

Gabrielle felt her jaw drop and quickly closed her mouth. I can’t believe this. She needed someone she could depend on?! "How many times did I tell you I couldn’t love Eve more if she were my own? How often did I tell you I would die for that child?"

"Yes, but what if you changed your mind again, Gabrielle? What if you decided you didn’t want a family? Or that live on the road wasn’t for you? What if we did decide to settle and you wanted to go back on the road?"

"Then we’d talk about it, Xena, like we always did," Gabrielle answered. "I’ve told you before I understood what life with you would be like and I accepted it all. I still accept it today... what I can’t accept is being shut out. I can’t accept it and I won’t stand for it."

"I don’t blame you, Gabrielle," the warrior answered truthfully. "I told Hercules I’m surprised you stayed as long as you did... I could say I didn’t mean to do it, but that’s a lie. I did mean to shut you out. I didn’t want to get hurt by you. So little by little, I pulled away. I didn’t, however, intend to hurt you in the process. I wasn’t being ‘vengeful’. I only wanted to protect myself... and Eve."

Gabrielle gave a small nod. "I think I understand what you’re saying. And I know we’ve both been through so much these last three years. Dahok, India, Eve - it just seems like it’s one thing after another. I can’t remember the last time it was just about ‘us’ and us alone. I guess I just missed you too much to stay with you. It hurt to be in your life, but be a shadow."

Take her hands. Do it now or you might not ever get the chance again. "Gabrielle, listen," the warrior said pulling the bard’s hands to her until their fingers locked. Xena let a small grin creep out when she felt Gabrielle’s fingers squeeze around them instead of pulling away or staying limp. "I love you. I will always love you. I never wanted you to feel unwanted or unloved... All I’m asking for here is a chance. Give ‘us’ this chance to get to know each other again. If you don’t think we can go on together, I’ll bow out gracefully. I’ll see to it that you get to know Eve, if that’s what you want, with no arguments from me. I think it’s important you two get acquainted, regardless of what happens with us."

Eve. My daughter. Another daughter I tried to kill. Gabrielle felt herself tearing up and she quickly wiped them away. "I’m not sure if Eve would want that. After all, I did try to kill the girl."

"Hey," Xena said smoothing the back of her fingers over the bard’s cheek. "She understands. She knows it wasn’t really you at the time."

Gabrielle held up her finger for Xena to pause. Take a deep breath and try not to cry. She’ll get sympathetic with you and that’s not what you need right now. "I’m sorry that I tried to kill Eve. I tried to apologize to her in the throne room on Olympus, but she cut me short and I never did finish. So I want you to hear me out, alright?"

Xena only nodded, giving Gabrielle the chance to continue.

"I know I was under the influence of the furies, but I could have said something beforehand. I could have warned you somehow. I mean the furies went after you and you still managed to trick them and beat the stuffing out of Ares to boot. If I had said something, told you of my murderous thoughts, then I might have been able to overcome it. But I stayed quiet and it cost both of us our lives. I’m sorry, Xena. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to make that up to both of you... I’m not even sure if you understand."

"I’m not so sure about that," Xena answered. "For months now, I’ve thought about many things I could have done different at Joxer’s that night. I think about how ‘I’ could have stopped you without relying on the chakram to do it. I could have tackled you. I could have knocked the sai away instead. I replay that moment over and over and every time I think of something different I could have done."

Gabrielle gave a small grin. "Perhaps you do understand," she answered, giving a nod.

"Yeah, perhaps I do." What I wouldn’t give to kiss this woman right now. Xena licked her lips subconsciously. But don’t do it. She’s not ready. Be happy to hold her hand. With that thought, Xena gave it an extra squeeze. She could have sworn she saw stars when she felt Gabrielle returned the grip again as she did earlier.

"They’re coming! They’re coming!"

The runner yelled as he ran through the town, warning the village. The sound interrupted their conversation to both of their relieves. Neither woman wanted to say too much nor did they want to make rash comments of love. It was far too soon for either of them.

Gabrielle took a deep breath. "Looks like it’s show time," she said looking at the wall, knowing Xena planned on staying with the archers while she took her spot with the armed villagers in town.

"Looks that way." Xena grinned. "You be careful."

Should I do it? Is it false hope thinking we’ll build a future together again? We might not survive this attack though and I’d regret it if I didn’t do it. I know I would. Oh what the hell... Gabrielle slipped her hands out of Xena’s and pulled the warrior’s head down, planting a slow, delicate, compassionate kiss on her cheek.

"You too," Gabrielle whispered giving the warrior’s injured arm a light pat. "Go easy on the flips," she teased before she quickly darted away.

Before Xena could open her eyes, which closed upon the gentle assault, the bard was already on her way, traveling deeper into the heart of the village. Her hand gently touched the flesh Gabrielle had just graced with her lips. One kiss. That’s all it was, but it spoke volumes to the warrior. That one kiss meant so much, but above all-else it meant purpose. She had a purpose in defeating this army. Yes she would save this town, but the true purpose was to move forward... with Gabrielle.

FAVORS

"How’s it going?" Eponin asked.

"It’s going," Gabrielle said mustering a grin. "She ready?" Gabrielle asked nodding over to August who sat nervously on a bench.

Eponin grinned. "Yeah she’s got butterflies, but she’ll be fine."

"Butterflies?" Gabrielle said skeptically. She looks borderline terrified.

"Okay, so she threw up twice," Eponin confessed, "but she’ll be okay."

"Maybe you should take her out of town," Gabrielle suggested.

"Is that an order commander?" Eponin asked with a smirk as she used the title that some of the villagers had bestowed upon Gabrielle.

"No," Gabrielle answered returning the grin. "Just looking for an opinion."

"Then I think she should stay," Eponin remarked. "I think it would do her good. Let her get her feet wet a little. Let her see what life outside her village can be like. She handled the staff well today and like before I’ll stand by her."

Gabrielle gave a confident nod. "Okay, I’m gonna talk to her. I’ll be back in a few," Gabrielle answered, giving Eponin’s arm a light squeeze before she left.

August darted to her feet when she saw Gabrielle approaching, but she said nothing.

"How ya doing, sweetie?" Gabrielle asked.

"I’ll be okay. I just hope I don’t disappoint you," August replied. Gabrielle could hear the shake in the girl’s voice.

"Stick by Eponin, okay? She’ll take care of you. And if something happens to her, make sure you come to me, okay? I’ll be right there in the square of town holding that position. I’ll either be walking away once the army is defeated or carried away to a funeral pyre. But know that I won’t be leaving that spot. And if I’m gone then go to Xena. She’ll get you to Athens."

"You said to run when you get outnumbered. I don’t understand," August countered.

"Yes I did," Gabrielle replied. "And that’s the best course of action if it’s just you and you alone. War is different. If my line falls, then the army will take the village for sure. They’ll reap the bounty and burn it to the ground. Hopefully, Xena’s line with the archers will take out most of them. Do you understand? My line has to stand or the village falls."

August took a deep breath as she nodded. "Yes, I understand. And I’ll do as you say. I promise."

"Then that’s all I can ask." Gabrielle grinned, giving the young lady a chuck on the shoulder. "Remember - Eponin, me, Xena. Okay?"

August didn’t reply vocal. She just nodded.

"You’ll do fine," Gabrielle said confidently. She was going to continue, but she heard Xena’s voice boom out.

"Fire! Next line... Fire! Next line... Fire! Next line!" Xena’s voice repeated over and over. Gabrielle couldn’t see what was happening because of the darkness, but she was well aware. Xena had three rows of archers firing one at a time so the army was met with a continuous onslaught of arrows.

Next, Gabrielle heard Xena call out to their daughter. "Eve! Go north! Go North!!"

North?! Oh no! The north was too rocky so we didn’t guard it as heavy. Gabrielle pushed past her men to stand front and center. She watched Eve and her ‘troops’ dash across the courtyard and scurry up the ladder to defend it from the attackers. As she and her troops arrived, the army began to come over the wall. If Eve’s forces had moved just a few minutes slower the army could have overtaken the city. But as it stood now, Eve and her men went toe to toe with the attackers, hoisting them back over the wall and into their comrade’s path.

"I need some archers now!!" Eve called out from across the square to her mother.

A man from Gabrielle’s unit stepped up to her. "We should go help her," he insisted.

"No!" Gabrielle snapped much harder then she intended and she softened her voice. "No, we stay here."

"But why?" he argued. "What good is just standing here when my brother over there needs help on the wall?"

Gabrielle watched as Xena sent a line of her archers down the ladder and over to Eve for reinforcement. As she turned back she looked eastward toward Gabrielle.

Great lord above! More of them?! When Xena looked westward she gave a sigh to see that no one else was coming. At least that’s one good sign. Xena pointed toward the back of the town. "To the east!" she shouted to Gabrielle.

Gabrielle turned around, but she couldn’t see anything coming... at least, not yet.

"That’s why." Gabrielle smirked to the man. "Come on!" the bard shouted as the villagers followed her lead as she went through town.

"I though you were going to stay in the square no matter what!" August shouted from the water brigade as Gabrielle raced by her

"Change of plans. Gotta be flexible. Comes with the job," Gabrielle retorted as she raced along.

Gabrielle came to a stop when saw about 20 men on horseback, riding hard toward them carrying torches. Trip the horses. Cause a back up.

"Jacob, Joseph! Get a rope! Wrap it around the hitching posts so it’s in the rider’s path. When I say pull, raise the rope and trip the horses! Go! Now!" Gabrielle yelled.

The men dashed inside the corral and returned seconds later. Jacob wrapped it around once and ran across the street to the other post and wrapped it once as well. Both men picked up their ends and looked to Gabrielle who was watching the army.

"Okay, you six on one side, you six on the other," she called to the rest of her men. They too obeyed and formed what looked like a wide tunnel as Gabrielle stood at the end. Closer the horse came, their hooves sounding like thunder as they tore up the earth behind them.

They were almost within the city when Gabrielle called out.

"Pulllll!"

Both men heaved with all their might and they watched as the rope got as taunt as a bowstring, tripping the horses and sending their riders headfirst into the dirt. The men directly behind them got tripped up in the mass of human and horses scattered about. When the next wave came inside, they managed to by pass the commotion, going right into the ‘tunnel’ of Gabrielle’s men where they were dragged from their steeds and pummeled.

As the invasion from the east began to subside, Gabrielle looked to Eve who now had her archers in place and doing a good job of defending that side. Xena’s team, however, didn’t seem to be fairing as well. And Xena herself seemed to struggle as more men managed to climb the ladders and the wall. She was wearing down; getting tired and Gabrielle knew why. It was the arm. Her stance was off and what she was lacking in skill she had to compensate with harder blows. Blows that began to take their toll on Xena now as the warrior moved slower and slower.

Gabrielle knew she couldn’t leave her men so she prayed. She prayed hard. Keep her safe. If anyone is listening please don’t let me lose her. Not now. Give her strength. Gabrielle squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, almost as if she were straining to give Xena whatever strength she had within herself.

One more to go... One more to go... Xena’s mind chanted as she faced each man, taking them one at a time in her imagination. She didn’t feel quite as tired with this approach. She wasn’t as susceptible to give into her exhaustion if she examined the battle in such a ‘singular’ fashion, keeping that as her mindset.

Gabrielle watched Xena stumble against an attacker who, in all likelihood, was not that much of a warrior. That’s it! I’ve gotta get up there. Gabrielle took two steps when she felt a light hand on her shoulder.

"Let me," a voice told her.

Gabrielle watched as Aphrodite disappeared from behind her to instantly appear at Xena’s side. Dite blew something in the attacker's face and Xena watched as the man got a sappy look on his face and stumbled a bit. Dite released a giggle and took three strides to push the man off the wall with a poke of her index finger.

"Let’s see that arm," Dite said returning to Xena. She placed a light grasp on it and Xena could feel the throb that got worse from the battle melt away. "Good as new," Dite said with a wink, making the split and sling disappear.

"Aren’t you worried about the Olympian order holding that against you?" Xena asked with a smirk.

Dite grinned bitter-sweetly. "There is no Olympian order anymore, Xena," the goddess retorted. "All I have now are my friends," she added, as her head nodded toward Gabrielle. "Least I can do is answer their prayers."

"Look Aphrodite," Xena began. "I didn’t want to harm Hephesteus, or anyone, but they didn’t give me much choice. I hope you realize that," Xena offered.

"Yeah... men." Dite grinned as she began to tear up. "I told him not to go... but he didn’t listen. I told Artemis too. And Athena. None of them listened." Xena watched Dite’s mind going elsewhere, but she came back with a shake as if clearing her thoughts. "Did this conversation turn into a real bummer or what?" she said trying to grin. "Anyway, sweet cheeks, do right by the bardly one, okay? That’s all I ask."

"You got a deal," Xena agreed with a smile.

Without another word, the goddess vanished and Xena found herself face-to-face with a solider charging her as he screamed a battle cry. With two quick swipes of her sword, Xena’s attacker fell to the ground below quiet and lifeless. Xena gave a brilliant warcry and Gabrielle gave a sigh of relief as she watched the warrior do a double summersault before landing in the thick of the battle.

Eve’s troops gave a cheer, but the victory of the North end didn’t last long. The army at Xena’s line had worked its way deep into town and as Gabrielle suspected they fired flaming arrows to the rooftops in the hope of burning the village. The bucket brigade of woman and older children began to extinguish the fire while Eponin and her team kept guard over them. A few soldiers managed to make their way toward them, but the villagers took them out fairly quick.

Eponin beamed with pride as August gracefully kept her own against the intruders. She never left the young woman’s side, and unlike the battle earlier that day, she didn’t once have to go in for the save. With the remained of the army inside the village, now was the perfect time to lay siege. All four women – Eponin, Gabrielle, Eve and Xena all looked at each other, all of them knowing the same thing. If they all converged at once there would be no escape, the army would be surrounded.

The army noticed this as well when they realized their numbers were dwindling instead of growing now that they were inside the city. Siscerus, their leader, looked around and saw the deviation this ‘little town’ had done to his troops and he started to scream his retreat.

"Fall back! Fall back!" he yelled from atop his war-horse.

"Fall back?" Xena taunted him as she menaced closer toward him. "Well, if you insist." With that Xena leaped up into the air, knocking him backward off the mare he rode. "How’s that for falling back?" She smirked.

He scooted along on his butt, trying to move away from her. Cat and mouse, Gabrielle thought as she took in the sight. I have to admit I love watching her play cat and mouse. Men from the army began to rush past her trying to leave town. She could have stopped them, but since they posed no real threat anymore she let them go without harm. Besides, watching Xena work was too interesting to look away.

As Eponin congratulated August on a job well done, she turned to see Gabrielle studying the warrior intensely. Her eyes then focused to Xena and then back to Gabrielle. I’ll never be able to compete with that, Eponin considered as she watched how captivated Gabrielle looked. Never.

Siscerus began to plead to the warrior.

"Don’t kill me! Don’t kill me," he answered in a timid voice. "I’m begging you. Don’t kill me."

"Why not?" Xena taunted. "You were ready to kill these people in this village."

"I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I just-."

"Just what? Thought it would be easy pickings? Thought you could take what you wanted although it wasn’t yours?... Oh don’t worry." Xena grinned. "I won’t kill you. That’s up to the people of this village to decide."

With that, Xena pulled the man to his feet and a group of villagers began to disarm him of any weapons and tie him up. Some townsfolk began to chant for his immediate death, but it didn’t go on very long until the village leader stepped up.

The mayor approached with a battle-ax in his hand to calm the crowd. "Everyone please listen," he began. "This man will not be harmed until he’s stood trial for his crimes tomorrow. He will be handled within the laws of this town. Justice will be served... Is that understood?"

A few of the villagers screamed for a hanging. A few others for a decapitation. The majority, however, agreed peacefully.

"We have no time to argue tonight. This warlord will go to the village jail. We have to attend to our wounded so I urge anyone who is not injured to please escort those who are to the tavern so we can give them the care they need," he offered instead.

Those words hit home and the protesters quickly went to work on finding people that needed care as Siscerus was taken to the village holding cell.

August and Eponin approached Gabrielle. 

"You should have seen it!" August said proudly, "I put one warrior right on his backside. It was great! He never saw it coming," she added.

Gabrielle grinned. I remember the first time I did that. Xena looked so proud of me for being able to defend myself that I was in heaven... At least until the next battle when she had to save my ass. Gabrielle chuckled at the memory as she congratulated August, "Well done. I’m glad you’re both in one piece." She smiled warmly.

"I have to admit though," August replied. "It was exciting, but I’m glad it’s over."

Gabrielle’s smile began to slip away. 

"Sorry sweetie, but it’s not over yet. We’ve got to make choices now -- difficult choices of who needs the greatest help," Gabrielle answered as she nodded toward two men who were carrying a third into the tavern. "In fact, the hard part is just beginning."

CHOICES

"How you holding up, sweetie?" Gabrielle asked coming to August’s side.

"I can’t believe it," August answered in a low voice as she cleaned a man’s head wound. "Look around."

Gabrielle did just that. It was a long time since she actually LOOKED at the effect war brought. It had almost become routine for her in a sense. Hearing the despondency in August voice took Gabrielle back to the many battle she and Xena faced - especially the early ones when she was ‘fresh off the farm’ herself.

Despite all the heartache and pain floating through the tavern tonight, one thing remains.

"It was a good day fighting," Gabrielle answered.

What did she just say?! "A good day fighting? That’s what you call this?" August said, trying not to raise her voice in her anger. "Look at all the people that are hurt!"

"And look at all the ones who are still alive. We haven’t lost anyone yet tonight August. Trust me. In the end, if you can walk away - if you live to see another sunrise - you’ve done a good job... Believe me, it was a good day fighting. It could have been worse... much worse."

August sighed. "I guess I didn’t look at it that way," she remarked.

"It’s the only way you can look at war and move on. It’s a senseless necessity," Gabrielle answered.

"A senseless necessity?"

"Yeah. Think about it... . If that army had turned back and walked away none of this would have happened. That’s senseless. They chose to return and the villagers had to defend what was theirs – it was a matter of survival... a necessity. The sad part is no one really won today. The warlord lost his army. Tomorrow he’ll probably lose his life. And as for the villagers, they’ve harmed human beings. They’ve taken lives. And those images will stay with them for all their days."

August considered Gabrielle’s words as she began to unroll the clean bandage. "Can you ... ?" August nodded to the unconscious man for Gabrielle to lift his head.

"Sure," Gabrielle answered. But first she felt for a pulse in his neck. Next, she went to his wrist. Gently, she put his head back down. "Save the bandage for someone who needs it," she told the young girl. "It’s too late for him."

August eyes got wide and her lower lip started to shake. Yes, Gabrielle wanted to give the girl a dose of reality, but perhaps not this strong. 

"Here," Gabrielle said taking the bandage from her. "Go outside and get some air for a little bit, okay? We’ve done about all we can here tonight anyway."

August couldn’t make eye contact with Gabrielle. She simply nodded and rushed outside. Xena watched the young woman dart from the tavern as she was stitching up one of the villager’s arms that had a nasty gash. The smile Xena had as she conversed with the man fell when she watched the young girl flee.

"You’ll be better in no time," Xena said as she rose, patting his knee. She turned to make her way over to Gabrielle when the man stopped her.

"Thanks," he told her sincerely. "Thanks for everything."

"Don’t mention it," Xena answered with a warm grin.

Gabrielle looked up from the dead man when she felt Xena approach.

"Do you know him? You’ve been in town a bit longer than I have," Gabrielle remarked.

"He’s the mayor’s brother," Xena answered as stoic as ever.

Quietly, Gabrielle pulled a sheet over his body. 

"You know years ago... I told myself that I would never get used to this. The death. The destruction... But now it seems like just another part of life - a ‘given’. So what’s the use in crying over it?... Do you think that makes me insensitive?"

"I think that makes you practical," Xena replied. "If you took everything you’ve seen in your journeys to heart then you’d be half crazy by now. You’re not insensitive," Xena added. "You’ve just learned when to care and when to walk away. And that’s not a bad thing."

"Speaking of caring," Gabrielle said, mustering a grin. "I still haven’t had the chance to speak with our daughter. Is she still up and around?"

"No, I sent her back to the inn to get some rest," Xena answered. "She was pretty beat."

Gabrielle’s grin grew into a smile and Xena cocked her head in examination. 

"What’cha thinkin' about bard?" Xena grinned.

"Eve. Our daughter." Gabrielle smiled. "I haven’t really had the chance to examine that fact or enjoy it... I like the way that sounds... Our daughter."

"Well, she’ll be delighted to hear you say that," Xena offered. "She’s been hoping for awhile now that you’d learn the truth. She even calls you mom when she refers to you. Perhaps we can head to the amazons and you can show her ‘the ropes’ so to speak." Xena realized that she might have just made a wild assumption by including herself in Gabrielle’s travel plans. "I mean that’s if you want me there. If not, then the two of you could go. I don’t-."

"Xena," Gabrielle began, stopping the warrior from rambling any further. "Relax. She’s our daughter. I’m sure she’d want you there."

"What about you? Would you want me there?" Xena asked.

Gabrielle knew what she had just said, but she didn’t think it all the way through. If Xena were there, then that means they would be traveling together again. Was she ready? She looked up into Xena’s azure eyes and saw the warrior’s soul aching for a positive answer.

"Yes," Gabrielle said confidently. "I would... I have missed you ya know?" Where the hell did that come from? she thought silently unable to look at Xena any longer.

Nah ah, the warrior thought. I can’t let her look away this time and hide her heart away from me. Xena’s fingertips gently pulled up Gabrielle’s chin forcing the bard to meet her eyes.

"I’ve missed you too," Xena answered. "And I don’t ever want to miss you again."

Gabrielle had the urge to hide her joy at Xena’s words, but quickly gave up, realizing it was useless. The warrior would see right through her anyway. So Gabrielle gave into her temptation and gave a bashful, red-faced grin. I feel like a sappy, love struck teenager again, Gabrielle thought as she looked into the warrior’s eyes. But I have to admit... it feels pretty wonderful.

Damn. I wish the timing were better. I’d whisk you away from everyone and everything if I could. But duty calls. Xena rose, the warmth of her fingers leaving Gabrielle’s cheek.

"I’m going to find the mayor and break the bad news," Xena told Gabrielle. "Why don’t you head back to the inn with August and get some rest? We could talk more there if you like," she offered.

The spell Gabrielle felt was momentarily broken and she looked around. The wounded had been tended to and many of them were asleep. Xena was right. It was time to call it a day so she nodded her approval.

"Okay." Xena grinned warmly. "Head on over and I’ll be there in a few."

"See you then," Gabrielle answered.

Xena turned and walked out of the makeshift healer’s station to go in search of the mayor. Gabrielle for her part walked outside into the early morning air, searching for August. She found the girl hunched over by a well across from the tavern.

"Hey, sweetie," Gabrielle began, running a hand over the gal’s back in comfort. "Let’s call it a night, okay? You and I could both use the rest, alright?"

August could only nod.

The bard knew that the girl had gotten sick again just like she did before the attack. She put her arm around the girl’s shoulder in support. Once at the inn, the two went to the grand room located downstairs. Since the rooms were all filled, they had to use the ‘living quarters’ for shelter. It had a decent sized fireplace and the room felt cozy and warm.

Eponin and Eve were already asleep on opposite sides of the room. Gabrielle helped August to bed and took the boots off the exhausted girl. 

"Did you need some mint or something to settle your stomach?" the bard asked, keeping her voice low as to not wake the others.

"No, thanks," August answered. "Sleep is all I need." A moment after the girl’s head hit the pillow she was out.

Gabrielle took a moment to examine the young woman. She grew up a little bit today. Perhaps Eponin was right. Perhaps she did need this in some way. Gabrielle rose and looked at the room. For the first time since seeing Xena again, she felt torn. Should she sleep on Eponin’s side like she did the last few months or should she sleep on Xena’s side as she did the last few years?

Ha. The irony, she joked to herself as she looked at the empty spaces she could take. I’ll sleep by Eve, the bard decided as she picked up some blankets and pillows that lay near the fireplace. Hmm. Warm, the bard thought as she snuggled into them feeling sleep begin to take her over almost as quickly as August.

She heard a door open, but didn’t raise her head. By the footsteps she could tell it was Xena. When she heard the breastplate come off she knew for a fact it WAS Xena and released a content sigh.

Well, so much for talking tonight, Xena thought as she looked at the bard with a grin. At least she’s on this side of the room.

The warrior came over and took a spot next to Gabrielle so the bard was now sandwiched between her and Eve. As Xena lay on her back, trying to unwind from the day, she felt Gabrielle roll over and cuddle into her shoulder without saying a word.

Xena didn’t know if it was intentional or force of habit. All she did know is that she enjoyed it and she wasn’t going to question it too much.

I’m still here, Xena’s mind thought before falling asleep. She’s here. Eve’s here. It was a good day fighting.

REALIZATION

Eponin slowly opened her eyes to find August giving a light snore next to her. She wiped her eyes of the sleep and rolled over to face Gabrielle. But the bard wasn’t there. She can’t be up already, can she?

Slowly, Eponin rose to rest her weight on her elbows. That’s when she saw three sets of feet across the room. Quietly as possible, she rose and walked over to the other side of the room. Gabrielle was still nuzzled in the warrior’s arms. Xena’s cheek rested on the top of Gabrielle’s blonde crown.

Admit it, Ep. They look perfect together, the ex-amazon told herself. She needs her. They both need each other. Sure you want a lover, but you want THAT. You want exactly what you’re looking at - that kind of love and connection. And you’re never going to find that with Gabrielle. Yeah you could build your world around her, but she’d never love you like that in return. She couldn’t because she already gave her heart away.

Suddenly, Xena opened her eyes, but she didn’t move. Xena could have smirked at the amazon and threw it in her face that Gabrielle had chosen her as a sleeping mate this evening. But Xena recognized that Ep did love Gabrielle deeply by the pain that showed on the amazon’s face.

But you’ll never love her the way I do, Xena thought as she looked up.

"You better treat her right," Eponin warned the warrior in a whisper. "Or next time you might lose her for good."

Xena didn’t reply vocally she gave a slight nod to Eponin fully understanding what Eponin was saying and knowing that statement was very true. That single nod also conveyed that Xena would in fact do right by her. She wouldn’t give Gabrielle any reason to doubt her has a mate again.

Eponin gave Xena the ‘warrior nod’ that Xena recognized well. It was one of respect for being ‘bested’ by someone. It was one she herself had never given to anyone. She had never been bested. Nearly killed - yes. But never ‘bested’.

Without another word, Eponin left the room, closing the door behind her.

Gabrielle was jarred awake by the noise and darted her head up. When she didn’t find anyone standing above her, she took notice that someone was below her. She felt a bashful grin come to her face as she watched the smiling warrior.

"Mornin’," Xena said tenderly pulling her back down to her shoulder.

Without the slightest bit of hesitation Gabrielle put her head back down and gave a sigh. "Mornin’," she echoed in a sleepy voice. After she became more awake she asked, "Who left?"

"Eponin," Xena answered.

Eponin was awake? Then that means she saw me... with Xena. Oh shit!

"I better go talk to her," Gabrielle replied as she sat up, rubbing her eyes to focus.

"She already read me the warrior riot act," Xena answered.

"I didn’t hear her," Gabrielle replied.

"Well, it was one sentence actually... You know how us stoic warriors are, Gabrielle. We don’t say much, but when we do we make it count."

"Oh lord," Gabrielle sighed, "What did she say?" the bard asked, dreading the answer.

"She warned me to treat you right or next time I’d lose you for good."

Gabrielle looked to Xena to continue. When she didn’t add more Gabrielle asked, "That’s it?"

"She didn’t need to say more. I knew what she meant. And I know it’s true." Xena’s fingers unconsciously found the bard's arm and began to rub it up and down. "I want to give it another chance... but you have to want that too, Gabrielle." Please say yes. Lord, let her say yes.

Do I want to give it another chance? Gabrielle considered. Do I want to risk being hurt again? Am I strong enough to walk away again if I have to? Or will we find that connection we once had where we spoke our minds and led with our hearts? Gabrielle felt the grin pull at the corners of her mouth. It was useless to resist it.

"I think I want that too... but slowly... I need to take things slow."

Yessssss!

Inside the warrior was doing cartwheels, but on the outside she gave a tender grin. She moved to her elbows as she sat up. 

"Do you have any idea how happy that makes me?" Xena asked.

Gabrielle smiled. "Real happy?" she teased.

"Very happy," the warrior replied, moving closer still until she was sitting directly in front of the bard. Her hands made their way to Gabrielle’s face. "So very, very happy," Xena added in a soft whisper.

She gonna do it, Gabrielle thought as Xena moved in even closer.

Just as Gabrielle had suspected Xena’s lips tenderly captured her own. The kiss was tentative at first - a few light pecks that lingered, causing Gabrielle’s blood pressure to rise. Suddenly, Gabrielle could feel her pulse in her head before traveling the length of her body. For the first time in months, she felt a torch within her ignite. The kisses that Eponin gave her now and then warmed her like a campfire. Xena’s scorched her like a blazing inferno through a thick forest. And she loved it... missed it... wanted more of it.

Damn, this woman knows how to kiss, Gabrielle thought merrily as more force came in the kisses that followed - a confidence growing between both women.

Neither woman was sure how it happened nor, in truth, did they seemed to care, but at some point Xena ended up lying on her back again. But this time, she had Gabrielle sparing kisses back and forth with growing speed as she hovered over her.

Slow, Xena said in her mind. Take it slow... But she feels so damn good... To Hell with slow. It’s been too damn long. Xena’s hands were on the verge of leaving the bard’s mid-section to cup her breast.

They would have continued, but a voice brought them to a halt.

"Oh please. There are children in the room for crying out loud."

Xena and Gabrielle both stopped the reacquainting of their lips to giggle like guilty teenagers at Eve.

"Should I kill her now or later for stopping us?" Xena asked Gabrielle with an arched eyebrow to Eve.

"Nah... Don’t kill her. Not yet anyway. We haven’t had the chance to talk yet - mother to daughter."

Eve couldn’t help but grin. "She told you, huh?" Gabrielle simply nodded. "And you’re okay with that?" Eve asked with a bit of uncertainty.

"I’m wonderful with that," Gabrielle answered without hesitation.

"Told you not to worry." Xena winked to her daughter. "And as much as I’d like to lay on this blanket kissing you all day," she added to Gabrielle, "I think it might be better if go check on the villagers and see how things are going."

Xena began to rise, but Gabrielle stopped her.

"Hey," she called softly.

"Hmm?"

Suddenly, the warrior found her lips coveted again by the bard's, and she couldn’t hold back the hum of pleasure at the sensation. When they broke apart, Xena took an unsteady breath to stand on even more unsteady legs.

"Ohhhhh Evie," Xena told her daughter. "I pray someday you find someone who can kiss like that," she added as she smiled to Gabrielle. The three of them chuckled loud enough to roust August from her slumber. "Hey sleeping beauty is up," Xena teased. August gave a yawn and sat up stretching. "Come on, kiddo," the warrior told the young lady. "A new day has dawned and it’s time to go out into the world so grab your boots."

August gave another yawn as she fumbled with her footwear. Once in place, Xena helped pull the girl to her feet. 

"We’ll be back later," she told Gabrielle and Eve, who were sitting in the piles of blankets, looking quite cozy. Xena was almost to the door when she stopped and strode back to the bard, shaking her head. "I can’t leave just yet," she said as she leaned down and pointed to her lips. "One more," she said with a sexy grin.

Gabrielle reached up and stroked the warrior’s cheeks as her lips made a very delicate impact upon the warrior. 

"How’s that?" the bard teased.

"Not bad," Xena replied, "But I think we should practice more later," she added with a stroke to the bard’s chin.

With that, Xena rose and walked with August who stood momentarily slack-jawed by what she just witnessed. Oh, she knew Xena was Gabrielle’s lover at one point in their lives, but she didn’t realize that things had changed... literally... overnight.

Once alone, Eve turned to Gabrielle who was beaming like a lantern.

"I’ve waited months to say this," Eve began with a huge grin.

"What?" the bard asked truly intrigued by what her daughter had to say.

Eve took a deep breath and released it slowly, savoring the moment with her eyes closed. When she opened them she smiled at the bard.

"Mom... Will YOU tell me one of your stories."

Continue to Part VI