Title:
Candy or Chaos
Author: CN Winters
Fandom: Xena Fanfiction, Xena fanfic, Xena fan fiction,
Xena and Gabrielle fanfiction
Rating: PG
Disclaimers: This is NOT an ALT story. I know. Shocking
coming from me. There of course is some subtext. I dont
think theres anything in here to offend anyone.
Unless you think Halloween is the work of Satan but I
cant help you with your delusions. Heres something not
so shocking these characters arent mine. They belong to
USA Studios. Please note that this is set during the
Classic years no not Chaucer or Shakespeare folks
this is Classic Xena and Gabby. Its been awhile since I
seen one of these.
Author Note: BTW, this IS a comedy. I couldnt think
of anything scary that these two HAVENT faced at this
point so I went for funny and fluffy instead.
Synopsis: Xena and Gabrielle's enjoy their time at the
Potiedaia Harvest Festival
Feedback: Feed the bard at cnwinters71@yahoo.com.
Candy or Chaos
"You
know the worst part? The worst part is he's gonna give me
that...look."
Gabrielle
chuckled as she walked next to the warrior, her staff tapping
the ground with each step. "And what look would that be
Xena?"
"The
one that says, You stole my little
girl from home you demonic creature from Hades,"
Xena answered wearing a pout on her lips.
Gabrielles
chuckle deepened. "Oh its
not that bad. Grant it, youre not his favorite
person in the world."
"Not
only are you a remarkable bard but youre
the mistress of understatement."
Gabrielle
bumped her shoulder into the warrior to lighten her mood.
"Itll
be okay. And if you really want, you can go to Amphipolis and
see your mother. I can catch up there."
"No,"
Xena began. "I told you Id
attend the great Potiedaia Harvest Festival and Ill
keep my word. That is if you
still want me there." The bard stopped walking, making
Xena pause as well. "What?" the warrior questioned
with a raised eyebrow.
"Xena,
why wouldnt I want you
there?"
"I
dont know," the
warrior sighed. "It just seems like my list of many
skills doesnt
mean anything in your fathers
eyes. Remember what happened last time? I dont
want to put you through that."
Oh
yes. The bard remembered the last visit well. It ended with
her father threatening to kill the warrior with his bare hands
when he found out that Gabrielle had joined the harlot
amazons and became a man-hater.
Gabrielle tried to explain that Xena had NOTHING to do with
her becoming an amazon but it fell on deaf ears. For Gabrielles
sake he made a truce with words but his attitude was anything
but friendly toward the warrior.
"That
wasnt your fault,"
the bard replied. "We know the truth and yes I know my
father can be
"
"Overbearing,
pushy, obnoxious-."
"Hey!
I know hes
protective but
hes still my
father."
"Im
sorry." Xena shook her head to clear her thoughts.
"Okay. New visit. New view. Ill wipe the scroll
clean and well
start with a new, fresh parchment."
"Thats
all I ask," Gabrielle replied starting to head toward the
small town again.
"Wish
he could do the same," Xena muttered under her breath.
The warrior wasnt
the only one with keen hearing and again Gabrielle stopped
walking and faced Xena. "What?" the warrior whined.
Gabrielle didnt
say anything. Her eyes just bored into Xena. "I know
where you get that look from - you really are daddys
little girl," she grinned, hoping to lighten the mood.
Gabrielle wasnt
impressed. "Okay, Im sorry," Xena
conceded. "Well
go to the festival. Ill participate in
all the activities and I wont complain once. A
good time will be had by all. I promise."
Gabrielle
gave a deep sigh and gripped her staff tighter. "Okay and
Im
holding you to that promise just so you know."
"I
wouldnt expect any
less," the warrior grinned. Gabrielle started down the
path as Xena followed behind leading Argo.
As
Gabrielle approached the old farmhouse she saw her father
working in the family barn, shoeing a horse. Without realize
it, she picked up her pace upon seeing him and Xena smiled
outwardly at the bards
anticipation.
"Dad?"
Gabrielle called to get his attention. He looked up and beamed
like a lantern. Xena could say what she wanted about the man
but she also knew he loved Gabrielle very much. Even if he
didnt
understand what was right for the bard, Xena respected the
fact he obviously cherished the young woman. Now if only hed
lose that look
when she was around.
"Hey
ya Gabrielle!" He darted up and headed outside where
Gabrielle made the rest of the journey with a light jog. She
dropped the staff and threw her arms around the man.
Playfully, he twirled her around once in the air before
setting her down. "So hows my eldest
doing?"
"Great!
We thought wed come by for
festival this year."
We?
Oh . . . Yeah . . . Xena. "Well Im
sure youll
have a great time. Your mothers
helping with the baking committee so she could use some help.
Shes
got cart full of pumpkins out back to make Zeus knows how many
pies," he chuckled.
Xena
had arrived at that point and gave a nod to Gabrielles
father. "Herodotus," she said politely.
"Xena,"
he replied with little emotion in his voice.
Well
that went well. He called her by her name instead of warrior.
No ones pulled a sword
yet. This might not be so bad this time, Gabrielle considered.
"Is Lila home?" the bard asked.
"Yeah,
shes bringing in the
pumpkins. Come on inside," he said wrapping a protective
arm around his daughter. In afterthought, he called over his
shoulder. "You too Xena. Once your mares
stabled, that is."
"Be
right there."
Xena
nodded and watched Gabrielle speaking to her father and saw
the merry expression on his face. For the briefest of moments
she felt a pang of guilt. If Gabrielle was traveling with
someone well-liked by her family she might be inclined to
visit them more often. Stop it warrior. Gabrielles
free to do what she wants and if she wanted to visit more she
would. Its
as simple as that.
Gabrielle
entered the house alongside her father. "Guess what I
found outside?" he shouted as he came in.
Lila
and Hecuba both turned to the distraction and soon broke into
smiles. They quickly wiped their hands clean on dishrags
before coming over to engulf the bard.
"You
made it!" Hecuba said pulling Gabrielle closer. "Im
so glad."
"Well,
the problem in Athens didnt
take as long as we assumed," Gabrielle commented.
"Mothers
making pumpkin pies," Lila said. "You wanna lend a
hand?"
"Yeah,
thats what dad said.
Sure, Ill
help out."
With
that Xena walked through the door and the room fell deathly
quiet.
"Oh
look Lila," Hecuba said with a forced smile. "Xenas
here too. You didnt say that Xena was
here too," she added to Gabrielle.
"I
assumed it would be a given," Gabrielle answered in a
sweet voice but a defiance planted behind it.
Realizing
that neither her father nor mother were going to move, Lila
went over to Xena and pulled her invitingly into the depth of
the room. "Do they have harvest festival in
Amphipolis?" Lila asked.
"No.
Well, Not like Gabrielles
told me about Poteidaia. You folks go all out from what she
tells me," Xena smiled.
"Its
a long tradition," Hecuba said. "Its
been going on since I was a little girl."
The
woman didnt know what else to
add and the room fell quiet again. Gabrielle cleared her
throat. "Well, how many pies do you plan to make
mother?"
"As
many as I can before the festivities tomorrow," she
answered. "With the four of us girls baking it shouldnt
take long."
"Three,"
Gabrielle corrected. "Xena cant
cook to save her life."
"Well
actually. . ." All eyes turned to the warrior as she
spoke and she felt suffocated for a moment by the attention.
"I can bake. I
just cant cook."
"You?
Bake? Really?"
The
bard looked dumbfounded and Xena chuckled. "Me. Bake.
Yes." She smiled. "I have many skills. Mystifying
but true." The bard scrunched her eyebrows in disbelieve.
"You can ask mom the next time we go to Amphipolis. Shell tell you."
"Well
looks like we have four then," Hecuba said making her way
back over to the table. "Come on girls."
Herodotus
excused himself to finish up with the horseshoeing as
Gabrielle walked over to Xena.
"Tell
me youre not gonna poison
the entire town just to get out of working with my
father," she whispered.
Xena
gave a light chuckled. "No I wont
poison
anyone I promise. Come on, Ill
show you a few skills you didnt know I
have," she teased with a wink.
Gabrielle
took a moment to watch the warrior move toward the baking
hearth but she still wasnt convinced.
Reluctantly she followed. This I gotta see.
XXXXX
The
pies the girls made were almost cool -
15 in all. More than the town could probably eat Xena surmised
but there they sat. Gabrielle poked at the pie Xena had made
and the warrior playfully slapped the bards hand away.
"Stop
that," Xena grinned. "No tampering with my
pie."
Gabrielle
rested her hands on her hips. "I will say this
It
LOOKS edible."
"Very
funny. But Ill have you know
that when you take a bite youll think youve
died and gone to the Elysian Fields."
Gabrielle
laughed aloud. "Awfully sure of yourself there warrior
princess," she taunted. "Ill be the judge of
that."
"You
go right ahead," Xena nodded before walking over to the
bench and taking a seat. "But later Ill be accepting
your apology for doubting me."
Gabrielle
turned to see Xenas legs propped up
on the other bench and her arms folded in total arrogance. She
had to smile. She also had to admit that so far Xena had kept
her word. They were having a good time. No fights. No
arguments. No death threats. Life was good.
Gabrielle
walked over and knocked Xenas
feet off the bench, taking the spot across from her. Xena
caught herself and sat up right, resting her elbows on the
table. "Now tell me about this evening ritual again. I still dont
grasp the concept."
Gabrielle
sighed. "Okay, the kids will come to the house dressed up
in costumes and say, Candy or Chaos? You
give them candy and they go away. If you dont, well,
something
might happen to your house later that night. Parchment in your
trees. Soap on your windows. Stuff like that."
"So
essentially, theyre warlords in
training. Give
us what we want or were coming after
you?"
"Xena."
Gabrielle rubbed her temples. "Its
for fun. Didnt you ever have fun
as a child?"
"Sounds
like more fun if I didnt get the candy.
Then I could come back and wreck a little havoc," she
beamed.
"Youre
impossible," the bard sighed. Xena started to laugh as
Herodotus came in carrying a lantern.
"Here
it is," he grinned putting it on the table between them.
"The harvest lantern!"
Xena
looked to Gabrielle. "Okay, explanation please."
"The
harvest lantern is what we put on the porch to be sure the
children know that were home and we have
treats," Gabrielle explained.
"Ahh,
so the little warlords dont
waste their time knocking on villages not worth plundering. A
time saving measure. Pretty inventive." Xena rose to go
over to inspect the pies and when she did the chakram on her
hip swung knocking the lantern to the ground, shattering it.
Gabrielle
and her father looked at the lantern now scatted in tiny
pieces across the kitchen floor before fixing their slit eyes
on Xena. The warrior was sure she could handle one of them at
a time. But both of them?
"It
was an accident," Xena said quickly.
"Sure
it was," Gabrielle retorted, moving to the floor to clean
up the mess. "Youve been poking fun
all night at our custom."
"No
really, Gabrielle. I didnt mean it,"
Xena replied, coming down to Gabrielles side to help.
"Youve
done enough already," Gabrielle answered, shooing the
warrior away. "Why dont you get the
treats ready by the door for when the kids arrive? Of course Im
not sure how theyre going to know to
come here since we dont have a lantern
but perhaps youll
think of something. Maybe one of your many skills can fix that
problem."
Xena
looked up to find Herodotus smirking at her. He was loving
this. Not only did he hate her but now his daughter did too.
"Ill
go see to Argo," Xena answered and rose to go outside. As
she walked to the barn she saw the kids lined up in town by
the horse troth dunking their heads in. Her argument with
Gabrielle was momentarily lost as she wondered what the
children were doing. After a few moments, she watched one
child emerge with an apple between her teeth before dropping
it into her hand.
"I
got it! I got it!" she squealed.
Xena
chuckled and for a brief moment wondered what it would be like
to be a child again. She was sure Gabrielle probably was one
of the best apple dunkers in town when she was a child. And
with the thought of Gabrielle came the renewed sense of
disappointment. Not with the bard but with herself. She really
did want Gabrielle to have a good time this weekend and she
honestly had no intention of harming her plans. She figured
once Gabrielle calmed down shed
go back in and reason with her.
Once
inside the stable Xena greeted her mare.
"Hey
there girl. How ya doin?" Argo
whinnied a response. "Me? Not so good. Seems I upset
Gabrielle by destroying a family heirloom. My approval rating
with dad
just decreased 5 times, as if that were even possible."
Xena got out Argos
brush and started to rub down the horse. "Now shes
worried no kids will come tonight for the treats her folks
made." Argo gestured her head out the door and nudged
Xena. "I should talk to her huh?" She watched the
horse nod in response and she chuckled. "Yeah I suppose
youre right.
Is
this what they mean by horse sense?" she asked,
scratching her nose. Argo snuggled her snout against Xenas
neck, making the warrior laugh. "Okay, girl. Im
all over it," she told her. Xena went to her saddlebag
and tossed the palomino an apple. "Behave tonight. Theyll
be a lot of noise but dont worry," she
told her scratching her mane.
With
that Xena turned to walk from the barn.
"Whatd ya
think?!"
Xena
jumped at the sight in front of her -
a set of glowing eyes with razor sharp teeth. Upon closer
inspection she saw it was one of the empty pumpkins from
earlier in the day, a bizarre face carved in it.
Gabrielle
lowered the pumpkin and pulled it back. "I decided to
make my own lantern," she said.
"That
pumpkin looks mighty upset," Xena answered playfully,
hoping all was forgiven.
"Yeah
well," Gabrielle blushed. "I was in a bad mood and
decided to take it out on the vegetables. But the more I
started chopping the more it looked like a face and well
"
"The
creative bard took over?"
"Yeah.
My dad suggested putting a candle in it and using it as the
lantern this year. Lila and mother saw it and they decided to
use the other pumpkins to make more faces. The kids might not
see the lantern but Im
sure the pumpkins will draw them over."
"So
were
okay?"
Xena asked tentatively.
Gabrielle
gave a bashful grin. "Yeah,
and
Im
sorry for losing my temper. I know you didnt
mean it. Its
just tense being home."
"Comere,"
Xena said pulling the bard into a tight embrace and kissing
her on top of the head. "I know its not easy for you
coming home. Especially when your parents hate me."
"They
dont really hate
you," Gabrielle answered. "They just have a hard
time understanding the choices Ive
made."
"What
about you? Are you happy with your choices?"
Xena
pulled back to look at the bard with concerned eyes. She never
wanted to stand in the way of Gabrielle finding joy.
"Yes,
Im very happy,"
she answered honestly, as she handed over the pumpkin.
"But Ill
be happier if I can try that pie of yours now to see if youre
just all talk and no action."
Xena
grinned warmly and put the pumpkin under her arm while she
wrapped her free one around the bard. "Youre
on Gabrielle."
XXXXX
Xena
sat across from Gabrielle in anticipation. Lila, Hecuba and
Herodotus all stood behind Xena with anxious expressions on
their faces as well. Gabrielle took her time and chewed the
pie before washing it down with some apple cider.
"Well?"
the warrior asked. "Remember, you have to be
honest."
Gabrielle
wiped her mouth with the napkin and started to nod. "I
have to admit. Its
pretty darn good," she added before going back for
another bite.
"Ah
ha!" Xena said, reaching her spoon over to take a piece
for herself. "Told ya I could bake."
Gabrielle
stopped Xenas spoon before it
could make contact. "This is mine. Get your own,"
she warned. Xena did as the bard instructed and as she cut
herself a piece. But she decided instead to offer it to the
rest of the family. Lila took the first one. Hecuba took the
second one and with a little prodding Herodotus took the
third. At this point, half the pie was gone. Xena went to
finally cut herself apiece when they got a knock at the door.
Hecuba
wiped her hands to answer but Xena rose. "Ill
get it," she told the older woman before leaving the
table. "Finish your pie."
When
she opened the door she met a small girl dressed as an amazon
and what appeared to be two boys in a centaur costume.
"Candy
or Chaos?!" they yelled in unison.
"Well,
I dont need any amazon
or centaur troubles," Xena told them. To herself she
muttered, "Been there done that." They held out
their pillowcases and Xena dropped the hard candy treats
inside. "There you go," she told them.
"Thank
you," they answered politely. As they left the porch the
girl turned around to Xena. "I like your warrior costume
maam."
"Thanks,"
Xena replied automatically. She took a moment to realize she
wasnt
dressed up. This was her wardrobe. She started to feel a bit
indignant as she shut the door. Costume, eh? I happen to be a
fearsome warrior princess. Xena started on the way back to the
kitchen when another knock came. She opened the door to see a
small girl dressed as Aphrodite holding a black cat. Oh, this
is too damn cute. Shes gotta see this, Xena
thought silently, starting to really enjoy this evening.
"Hey!
Gabrielle come here!" Xena shouted behind her. The bard
walked up and saw the young girl on the porch and started to
chuckle.
"Oh
isnt she
adorable," Gabrielle cooed at the child.
"Yeah,
yeah. Im all that and a
bag of ambrosia," the girl said in a ho-hum voice
marching her way inside. "Look ladies, me and the pussy
here have a problem," she said putting the cat on the
floor.
Xena
and Gabrielle looked at each other and then at the little girl
who was now standing in Gabrielles living room,
hands on her hips.
"You
call me a pussy one more time and Ill
scratch your eyes out. Got it?"
Totally
taken aback, Gabrielle stepped closer to Xena who was equally
wide eyed. She wrapped her hands around the warriors
arm. "Xena," she asked watching the cat. "Did
that cat just talk or did you put henbane in the pumpkin
pie?"
"No,
that cat talked," Xena decided watching the two.
"And Id
swear that voice belongs to Ares."
"No
kidding Plato," the little girl remarked to the two of
them.
Xena
and Gabrielle examined the child closer.
"Aphrodite?" Gabrielle asked. "Is that really
you?"
"Yes
its me," she
said taking a seat. "Ive got a big
problem."
"Looks
more like a little one," Xena teased. That earned her an
elbow from the bard.
"What
happened?" Gabrielle asked. At that moment the bards
family came in to see what was going on.
"Thanks
to Ares over here, dressed in this stunning spiked collar, who
even as a cat has no sense of fashion, decided to play a prank
on Athena tonight. Well, she didnt take too kindly
to it. At first, he blamed me. So I got zapped for being childish.
When I told her I had nothing to do with it she went in search
of the sneaky, conniving feline Ares and, well, there you
have it."
"Is
this permanent?" Xena asked.
"Hades
if I know," Aphrodite remarked with a sigh. "But at
this point I need a safe place I can crash. Weve
got no powers, no resources and well,
look
at us!"
Xena
was the first one to lose her reserve and started to chuckle
until Ares spoke.
"Look
here Xena! You do NOT want to cross my path," he warned.
"Yeah
youre real menacing in
that fancy collar," Xena taunted. "We might have
some left over fish around here if youre hungry," she
teased. "Perhaps a saucer of milk?"
A
loud hiss erupted from the cat and he jumped at Xenas
face but only making it to her breastplate. Xena grabbed Ares
by the scruff of the neck.
"Yowww,
that hurts," he whined. "Put me down!"
"Are
you gonna behave?" Xena asked coming nose to nose with
him. "If not, Ill have to throw
you out for the night and its a cold, hard
world out there Ares."
Ares
tried to take a swing with his claws. When that didnt
work reluctantly he agreed. She gave him a light toss and he
landed on his feet, scurrying over to Aphrodite to hop in her
lap.
"What
are we gonna do?" Aphrodite pouted.
Another
set of kids came to the door and Lila saw to their treats.
Gabrielle and Xena still stood with blank expressions when she
returned from her task.
"Any
ideas?" Gabrielle asked the warrior.
"Not
a one."
Aphrodite
released a sigh and scratched absent-mindedly behind Ares
ears.
"Well
cat or no cat, the god of war is not welcome in my
house," Herodotus said from behind, coming up to examine
the pair.
"Gee,
Poppa Gab doesnt like war. Now
theres
a shocker. No wonder shes a goodie
goodie," the cat snickered.
"Knock
it off Ares. You want our help or not?" the warrior
warned.
"Yes
we want your help," Aphrodite spoke for them both before
Ares could say anything more. "Pay no heed to the
fleabag."
"Fleabag?"
Ares said, his back hunching with his tail tufted out.
"Hey!
At least I didnt call you a pussy
again," Aphrodite countered.
"Why
you-."
Xena
and Gabrielle walked away from the argument. Neither of them
cared to witness the sibling rivalry between child and feline
any longer nor did they want to hear the vulgarities they were
now slinging back and forth.
"What
are we gonna do Xena?"
Xena
gave it a moments thought. "Since Athena caused the
curse she can take it off. Lets go see her and
try to reason with her. I dont think either one
of us is looking to adopt
a temperamental child or a fleabag
as Aphrodite put it. So lets set it right or
well
never get rid of them."
"Agreed."
The
duo walked back to the bickering brother and sister, watching
how the exchange had escalated. Ares was on top of Aphrodites
head trying to scratch her eyes while Aphrodite continued to
tug on Ares tail making him scream louder. Gabrielles family looked on
in silent awe at the display before them.
"Oh
kids," Xena called out.
It
didnt work. They
continued to brawl, a
few screams, a bit of fur flying.
"Oh
kids," she said a little louder.
That
didnt work either.
Finally,
Gabrielle put her fingers in her mouth and gave a loud whistle
that brought the room to a halt.
"Thank
you," Xena nodded to the bard.
"Any
time," she replied with a grin.
Xena
turned back to the godly pair. "You two stay here. Play
nice. Do a little Candy
and Chaosing if you like. But
just dont
fight. If need be, Hecuba will split you two up and if you
give either her or Gabrielles father any grief
I swear this trouble with Athena will seem like a pleasure
cruise when I get done with ya. Ya got that?" Child and
cat both nodded. "Good. Now Gabrielle and I are going to
Athenas temple and see if
we cant
get this little mess straightened out. Okay?" Again, she
got two sets of nods. "Alright then," Xena said
opening the door and motioning for the bard to go out.
"Gabrielle, after you." Quietly Xena closed the door
behind them.
"Brat."
"Fleabag."
Xena
poked her head back in the door and caught the pair trying to
look innocent. "Come on guys. Would you give it a rest?
Well
be back soon," she said.
"I
know I can be mature," Aphrodite responded in the
9-year-old voice.
"So
can I," Ares agreed. "Think Ill
just curl up by the hearth if you dont
mind."
With
that, Ares strolled over and did two circles before finding a
place that looked comfortable.
Xena
turned to Gabrielles parents. "Well
be back in a flash. And remember, any problems. You let me
know." With that, she darted away again.
XXXXX
"Well,
this temple hasnt changed
much," Gabrielle remarked as she entered.
"Looks
kinda vacant," Xena remarked.
"Well
as Im sure youre
aware, the townsfolk of Poteidaia dont
often seek enlightenment or wisdom," she chuckled.
"Youre
telling me."
Both
woman turned to the voice to see the goddess Athena standing
at the alter. "At least MOST of the residents are that
way. Not all, but most. Im
surprised such a backward little town could build a temple
like this but I have to admit its not bad."
"Well,
Id like to say weve
come by to discuss architecture but we havent,"
Xena began.
"Oh
yes, the war god and the love goddess. How are they holding
up?" she snickered.
"Theyre
fairing well, all things great
and small considered," Gabrielle answered.
Athena
gave a laugh. "Well thats
good to hear."
"Youre
not really gonna leave them that way are you?" Xena
asked. "Because youd never be able to
pay our babysitting fee."
"No,
I dont." Athena
walked down to meet the pair wearing a smile. "In fact by
sunrise they should be back to normal. Of course, they dont
realize this and Id like to keep it
that way if you dont
mind. It will teach them a lesson or two."
Xena
smirked slowly before giving a much broader grin. "Your
secret is safe with us. As long as we can have a little fun
with it that is."
"What
did you have in mind?" Athena asked with a knowing grin.
"Like
you said, A lesson or two."
Athena
chuckled conspiratorially with Xena. "You got it ladies.
Just keep them safe, alright? I dont want to kill
them. I just want to teach them to be careful who they try to
trick. Okay?"
"You
got it," Xena said turning so she and the bard could
leave.
"Xena,
what did you have in mind?" Gabrielle asked.
"Weve
only got a few hours left. But trust me. Well
make the most of it."
XXXXX
"Bad
news," Xena said as she entered Gabrielles
house. "Spoke to Athena and she said youd
have to grow
up first."
Aphrodite
darted to her feet in a huff. "What in Zeus name does
THAT mean?"
"It
means that youre gonna need a
mom," Gabrielle replied.
Xena
nodded playing along. "Two moms
in fact. Gabrielle and I have decided well
raise you until you can care for yourselves."
"What?!"
All
of them - Aphrodite, Ares, Hecuba, Herodotus, Lila -
shouted in unison.
"Afraid
so," Xena replied. "Its
either that or an orphanage. Well at least for you Aphrodite.
Im
not sure what theyd do with a stray
cat. Probably skin it for a quilt. So whats
it gonna be?"
"Whatever
you say mom,"
Aphrodite answered taking a dejected seat in her chair.
"Oh
dont sit down
yet," Gabrielle told her before turning to her sister.
"Lila, can you get the sheet for my pillow?"
"Sure
Gabs."
"What
do you think youre doing?"
Ares asked.
"Its
Harvest Festival. What kind of parents would we be if we didnt
take you out for a little Candy or Chaos?"
"Oh
no," Aphrodite argued. "Im
not going back out there again."
"Oh
come on. Itll be fun. And
people will just adore your costume," Gabrielle
countered.
"This
is NOT a costume," she huffed with her hands on her hips.
"Xena be reasonable. Please."
Lila
returned with Gabrielles pillowcase as the
bard opened the door.
"Lets
go! You and the pussy. Were goin," Xena
said walking out, almost running into another set of candy
seeker. "Look out for the Minotaur and Hercules,"
she warned waving them outside.
XXXXX
"Theyve
made quite a haul tonight," Xena grinned to Gabrielle.
The
duo walked behind Aphrodite and Ares who trotted along the
towns
dirt street. Well perhaps not trotted. Dragged was more like
it. She was sure this was the most both Gods had walked in a
long time and it showed.
"When
are you gonna tell them?" Gabrielle leaned over, not to
be heard.
"When
Im ready," Xena
smiled.
"Youre
awful." Yeah she was awful but that didnt
stop Gabrielle from chuckling.
"I
figure we walk their little legs off tonight and by morning
theyll
think twice before getting on Athenas
bad side."
Aphrodite
stopped and turned around to face them. "Weve
been to every house now," she began. "Ive
been poked, pinched and cooed over more than I can stand. And
although it has its
appeal as a god as a mortal it really sucks."
Xena
and Gabrielle both stifled a laugh.
"Yeah
really Xena. My pads have calluses at this point," Ares
quipped in.
Xena
reached down and pulled Aphrodite up into her arms. "Come
on kiddo, Ill
give you a lift."
Now
under normal circumstances she was sure that Aphrodite would
complain. But she was just too tired to put up a fight. She
rested her head on Xenas
shoulder and gave a contented sigh. Xena had to admit that, in
a way, she could get used to this motherhood bit. She watched
as Gabrielle offered to carry Ares home too but getting turned
down flat. Of course that didnt
stop him from whining about his aching paws the entire trip
home.
As
they approached the house they could see the candles nearly
burned out of the pumpkins on the porch and everything looked
quiet. Xena stopped a moment and took it all in. When was the
last time she felt like a normal
person? It was years and she admitted silently it was a good
feeling. No immediate danger. No emotional distress. It was
just a peaceful feeling in the chilled autumn air. The bard
came up beside her asking what was wrong.
"Nothing,"
Xena answered. "Everythings
perfect actually. Despite a few stumbling blocks Ive
really had a wonderful weekend. Thank you for sharing it with
me Gabrielle."
"Its
been my pleasure," the bard smiled and nodded toward the
house. "Lets
get the kids
to bed."
Xena
smiled and followed Gabrielle inside.
XXXXX
Early
the next morning as Aphrodite, Ares, Xena and Gabrielle lay in
a mix of blankets and pillows for a make shift bed they felt
an explosion of warmth and a bright light. The warrior and
bard opened their eyes to find that the Gods had their
original forms returned to them with Ares lying between Xenas
legs.
"Now
I could get used to waking up this way," he leered.
"Well
dont," Xena said
giving him a kick as she sat up.
"Im
big again!" Aphrodite exclaimed, looking at her legs. She
reached down and grabbed her breasts. "I really am!"
she added.
The
warrior and bard both rolled their eyes before shaking their
heads at each other.
"Yeah,
yeah youre big," Gabby
yawned. "I dont know if I couldve
put with Daughter Dite for much longer," she told Xena.
"Glad Athena kept her word."
"What?"
the godly pair asked.
Xena
and Gabrielle looked guiltily at each other until Xena spoke.
"Well, seems
Athena was gonna turn you back this morning."
"You
knew?" Aphrodite asked. "And you made us go out and beg for
candy. Thats incredible. Thats
despicable. Thats-."
"Pretty
damn funny," Ares chuckled.
"And
were keeping the
candy too," Xena added.
"Why
I ought-." Dite began
"Hey
sis," Ares said stopping her from continuing. He stood up
and pulled her along with him. "Lets just be grateful
we had a place to crash last night, huh?"
"Ares,
the defender of
logic. Never thought Id
see that," Gabrielle grinned.
"Yeah,
well, what can I say?
Maybe I grew up, huh? Later girls." As Ares finished, the
two gods vanished, leaving Xena and Gabrielle alone in the
living room. Xena turned to Gabrielle with a grin, which
infectious affected the bard.
"What
is it?"
Xena
sighed and rested her head on the bench behind them. "Lets
make a deal."
"About
what?"
"Every
year - Harvest Festival in Poteidaia and Winter Solstice in
Amphipolis. Whatta ya say?"
"Well
we could always bring our families together for both?"
Gabrielle offered.
"Your
parents at moms tavern?"
Xena chuckled.
"Hey
you can bake. So stranger things
have been known to happen," the bard retorted.
"Very
true. So is it a
deal?" Xena asked offering a handshake to the bard.
Gabrielle
paused a moment and then offered her hand as well. "Deal. But
no more Gods. Ares and Aphrodite better watch themselves. We
cant
keep our parents at peace for Solstice if we have to
baby-sit."
The
End
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