Title: 1971
- Part II
Author:
CN Winters (with Tonya Muir)
Fandom:
Xena Fanfiction, Xena fanfic, Xena fan fiction, Xena and
Gabrielle fanfiction, Xena fiction
Rating: R
Disclaimers:
Xena and the gang aren’t mine. They belong to
MCA/Universal/Studio USA and a bunch of other folks who now
own them. It is the musings of a certain warrior princess and
her affection for another woman. If the thought of two ladies
in love is unappealing please proceed on to another story.
Author
Note: Upon
examining X and G's relationship I realized they are at
opposite ends of a spectrum regarding their 'ideas' in life
but their moral foundation is the same - the greater good. How
they go about preserving the greater good has always been
different. With that in mind I considered what other kinds of
people would be similar in recent times. My answer - a flower
child and a police officer. It should also be noted that this
story was started well over a year ago and long before
Gabrielle’s India trip and ‘way of love’ fetish. With
that, we venture into this uber story. This short story was
based on a full length novel called, "One Belief
Away".
Synopsis: Flower
child Erin squares off against establishment cop Carol and
find love in the process.
Feedback:
Please send your gripes and complaints (and compliments
too<G>) to cnwinters71@yahoo.com.
1971 Part II
Chapter 9
Carol stood on the
dilapidated porch again less than twenty-four hours later. She
stuffed her hands in her sweat jacket and rocked on booted
heels, lips pursed, glancing at her surroundings slowly. She'd
already knocked twice and checked her watch three times, she
was beginning to get a little worried that she'd been
confused.
Suddenly the front door
swung open a crack and Erin shimmied out, pulling the door
immediately closed behind her. This action didn't permit Carol
to see anything going on inside though she had heard music and
laughter.
"Hey," Erin said
softly, running a tender hand down Carol's arm. "It's
good to see you." She felt a little awkward, torn between
kissing the older woman or moving on with the conversation.
This confusion wasn't abated when Carol tilted her head
sideways, allowing her long raven hair to drape over one
shoulder.
"You okay?" Carol
asked curiously, glancing at the closed door and her nervous
friend. One whiff of the air that had escaped the house with
Erin gave her a clue as to what was going on.
"Yeah. Good," the
blonde replied with a tight grin, giving up on the welcome
kiss and trying to edge her way around Carol and towards the
walk, hoping her tall companion would follow.
"Am I interrupting
something in there? Did you want to stay?"
Erin eyed her friend
cautiously, unable to tell from the stoic expression and
shadowed features what she was feeling. "No. I want to be
with you."
They stared at each other in
silence for a long moment until Carol sniffed dramatically.
The blonde dropped green
eyes to study her companion's polished boots. "I didn't,
Carol. I swear." She looked back up, pleading this woman
to believe her.
"Ever?"
"Tonight," Erin
clarified, her heart thumping double time. Though she
certainly didn't have a problem with recreational use, her
tall companion was an officer of the law. And she so much
wanted Carol to like her. The blue eyes revealed nothing.
"I see."
"Carol? I ... let's not
talk about this, huh? Let's just go somewhere and they can do
whatever they're doing."
"Why didn't you join
them? You did last night."
Erin closed her eyes,
remembering well the smoke she'd had just before meeting Carol
the night before. But that had been different, she was just
going out for a good time. Now she knew she wanted more and
Carol had admitted to the same, she didn't want to mess it up
by advertising the differences between them. She shrugged,
answering her friend after a long silence. "I knew you
wouldn't approve ... I ... I wanted you to like me." This
time when she studied the face before her she thought she
might have seen a twinkle in those icy eyes.
Carol decided to let her
fidgeting friend off the hook. "Relax, Erin," she
whispered gently, allowing a smirk to claim her lips.
"I'm just teasing you. I'm not gonna run you guys in. You
can do what you want."
Erin studied the features
silently before releasing a nervous chuckle. "Don't worry
me like that."
The dark-haired woman
laughed out loud this time, her face appearing less angular
when making the sound. "Didja really think I'd draw my
weapon and bust in there?"
Erin shrugged sheepishly
because part of her had thought exactly that. "Not used
to dating a cop."
"Not used to dating a
hippie," Carol returned gently, twining her arm through
the smaller woman's. "We'll have to play it by ear."
They strolled down the walk
towards Carol's waiting car. "Did you bring your
gun?" Erin asked as Carol settled her in the passenger
seat. The young blonde's nose was wrinkled in distaste at the
thought.
"No gun, no badge. Just
you and me, Erin," Carol responded gently, closing the
door and trotting around to the driver's side.
The dark-haired woman had
been nervous the entire day, discarding outfit after outfit
and finally deciding on something daring like jeans and a
black T-shirt. Erin wore bell bottoms and a colorful
sweatshirt. Her blonde hair was pulled back into several thin
braids, revealing perfectly sculpted ears and freeing her pale
features of cumbersome wisps. Carol admired her quietly.
"Where are we
going?" Erin asked at last. It had taken her several
minutes to even come up with the question. It seemed right
somehow to just be riding in a car with this woman, enjoying
companionable silence.
"Movie okay? Then I
thought maybe some ice cream and a walk in the park?" The
officer sounded hesitant, unsure if her young friend would
approve of such a plan.
Erin smiled, reached over to
lay a warm hand on her companion's well-muscled thigh.
"That sounds great, Carol," she nodded. "What
movie?"
In the end they'd skipped
the movie altogether. Standing outside and reading the
information on the ticket window proved only how very
different these two women were. They decided against Patton
and MASH because of the war theme. Across the street from the
first movie house, the second offered Clockwork Orange which
appealed to Erin but Carol had seen and had no desire to watch
it again, especially with Erin, imagining the conversation
that might follow. That left Dirty Harry. With quick looks
exchanged, both turned on their heels and headed back to the
Mustang.
"Ice cream, did you
say?" Erin asked gently, humor in her voice.
Carol nodded, pursing lips
that poorly disguised a wry grin.
They sat silently in the
park not too far from Erin's home, relaxing on a small hill
that allowed them to recline slightly. They'd left the car
outside the rundown building, ignoring the loud music and
waving crowd now settled on the porch. Erin had blushed
fiercely as she tilted her head away from her friends and
followed the dark woman down the street. It was a pleasant
night, chilly enough for the sweatshirts they each wore but
warm enough for the cool tang of ice cream to provide a
soothing sensation.
Erin finished her cone
first, then settled back on elbows to watch the starry night
sky. "Orion," she said gently.
Carol had been too busy
examining the young blonde to notice the stars. Now she
directed her attention upwards and saw the sparkling jewels.
"They're beautiful," she acknowledged.
"So are you," Erin
whispered, pulling the dark woman's gaze back. Carol finished
her cone and stretched out next to her young companion.
"Thank you," she
smiled slightly, leaning in close, her face inches from the
blonde's perfect ear.
Erin felt the hot breath on
her lobe and it sent shivers through her.
Carol's grin turned slightly
evil. "You, on the other hand, are gorgeous."
The blonde blushed, tucking
her chin into her left shoulder as she turned her face to
observe the woman beside her. Carol was smiling easily, her
ice blue eyes dancing with merriment and deepening with
desire.
It took only a moment of
silence to lead to the inevitable. They met somewhere in the
middle, tasting soft lips with velvet tongues, exploring,
teasing, wanting more.
Slowly Carol moved closer,
reaching her arms under Erin's raised back and lowering her
gently to the grass beneath them. The change in position
allowed Carol to kiss the young woman more deeply, one large
hand tangled in blonde braids, the other between the girl's
lower back and the ground. Carol's long hair draped over both
of their faces, closing the world down to several inches and
hot breath.
Erin moaned, feeling her
body react. Her hands wandered over broad shoulders and
muscular back as she sought more from the woman above her,
pressing her tongue deeper, involving teeth and lips.
The taller woman withdrew
first, breathing hard. Erin chased her still, raising up to
reclaim those lips.
"Easy," Carol
whispered, her voice dark and husky, her desire clearly
evident.
"Oh God," Erin
moaned, still searching. Her small hands applied pressure at
the back of Carol's head, tangling in raven tresses, trying to
bring her target closer.
"I know," Carol
chuckled softly. She stroked the flushed cheek in front of her
and waited for those sparkling green eyes to blink open.
"I want this so much."
The blonde's brow wrinkled.
"Then why stop?"
"Not here,
please?"
"People do it here all
the time," Erin grinned rakishly, sliding her hand down
to cup the dark woman's jean clad cheek.
She shook her head slowly,
completely uncomfortable with it. "Come home with
me."
"To your home?"
Erin seemed surprised.
"Didn't think I had
one?" Carol teased, brushing at the blonde's lips with
one of her own thin braids.
Erin laughed softly.
"Sorry ... no. I knew you did. I just didn't ... didn't
think you would want to take me there," she admitted
sheepishly.
"Why not?" Carol
raised herself higher, lifting her upper body off of the
smaller woman. "Maybe I'm sending mixed signals here, but
I'm pretty serious about you."
"Not mixed signals,
no," Erin grinned wryly. "I just wasn't sure you
wanted ... well ... more than this," she blushed.
"Do you?"
Sex just for release hadn't
really crossed the taller woman's mind. She wanted a lot more
from this vivacious person before her. She wanted to get to
know Erin better, to understand her, to find out what was in
her mind and in her heart. It wasn't until this moment that it
dawned on her that Erin might only want a roll in the hay. The
young hippie lived in a world where sex was exchanged freely,
where one's body was an expression of life. Maybe this was all
the blonde had intended. "I ... I think so. I mean ...
yes. Do you?"
Liquid green eyes peered at
Carol for a very long time before the girl nodded slowly.
"Yeah. Not just tonight, not just sex."
"No," Carol
responded, dropping her lips back down for another warm kiss.
"Come home with me," she repeated, her lips brushing
seductively against the blonde's.
Her answer was given when
Erin pulled back from the kiss only to hold the dark woman
more tightly. Her embrace was steady and sure, as was the
whispered agreement when it reached Carol's ear and traveled
right to her heart.
Chapter 10
Erin managed to survive the
teasing of her friends as she bid them goodnight and then
allowed herself to be tucked into Carol's car. The blonde
remained silent for the trip, so involved in her thoughts of
what they might do once reaching their destination that she
wasn't sure how long the vehicle was stopped before she
noticed.
"This it?" she
asked, peering into the darkened driver's seat.
"Mmm," Carol
agreed softly, nodding.
It wasn't what the blonde
had been expecting. It was a quaint cottage-like home with
white picket fence and intricate latticework adorning the
shuttered windows. Even in the pale moonlight, Erin could tell
it was well kept, the lawn neatly manicured.
"C'mon," Carol
said at last, breaking the silence. "You get the nickel
tour."
Erin felt oddly out of place
as she entered the neat home and stood in the entryway,
waiting for Carol to close and lock the door behind them.
Sensing the other woman's distress, the officer leaned forward
and kissed Erin's lips gently. "S'okay," she assured
her, reaching for her hand and squeezing it.
"We're so
different," Erin whispered, as if her normal speaking
voice might break something. This was nothing like her busy
old house with people crawling out of the woodwork and someone
always up and about. Her home was filled with laughter and
music, it smelled of pot and incense, not wood polish and
bleach. She felt horribly out of her element here, as if she
weren't upper class enough to stand on this wood floor and be
encased in these shining white walls. She tugged at her
sweatshirt.
Carol nodded, smiling
encouragingly. "Doesn't matter." She turned on the
hall light and guided the small woman with her. She showed her
everything, turning on all the lights as they moved deeper
into the small square home. "Kitchen, dining room, living
room. Those stairs go down to the basement. That's where the
television is. And there's a bathroom down there. Down this
hallway," she tugged the small form behind her.
"This is my dad's office-" she pushed the door open
to reveal walls lined with bookshelves and a large roll top
desk.
Erin froze and started to
back pedal. "Your dad? I shouldn't be here. How will you
explain-"
"Shhh," Carol
wrinkled her brow slightly. Whatever false bravado this young
woman had been parading around in had all but disappeared when
she was removed from her own environment. "No one's here,
Erin. Just you and me. My father's gone."
"Gone?"
"He died two years ago.
My mother died when I was born."
"I'm sorry," Erin
dropped her eyes. "You must miss him."
"I do," Carol
smiled gently. "I keep this room as he left it. I
couldn't bear to not come in here and feel him. Are you close
to your parents?"
The sudden question startled
the blonde. She smiled self-deprecatingly and shook her head.
"Nah. I don't need them."
"Where are they?"
"Probably where they
were when I left."
"Did they kick you out,
Erin?" the dark woman asked gently, studying her smaller
companion's profile in the poorly lit hallway.
She shrugged one thin
shoulder. "It was by mutual agreement. There's not much
to tell. Minos took me in and helped me finish high school and
apply to college."
"I'm glad," Carol
said softly, brushing soft lips against softer blonde hair.
"C'mon. Tour's almost over."
She led her to the back of
the hallway, showing her another bathroom, the unused bedroom
of her father, and her own room. Erin stepped through the open
door without prompting and grinned suddenly. It was as if the
atmosphere changed in this room, it felt warm and safe and
smelled of the dark woman at her side.
There was a queen-sized bed
covered in a beautiful hand-stitched quilt whose bright colors
matched the blues twisting through the fabric of the curtains.
There was a well-used desk in a corner, covered with loose
papers and writing utensils. A bookshelf proudly displayed a
myriad of reading selections along with several Police Academy
awards. The long low dresser was covered with framed pictures
of a dark man and a little girl. Erin stepped forward and
examined them more closely.
"He loved you very
much," she said softly, fingering a large photograph of
the man lifting an obviously squealing girl above his head.
Carol was all pigtails and smiles.
The older woman simply
nodded.
"How did he die?"
"Killed in the line of
duty," Carol answered, her response automatic as if she'd
said it a hundred times before. "He was an officer, too.
He was killed in a riot downtown, trying to help a young black
couple and their baby make it to safety when a racial mess
broke out. He was shot."
Erin wrinkled her brow and
turned to observe her friend. "I remember that. That was
your father?"
Carol nodded silently.
"He was a very brave
man, Carol," the blonde whispered gently. "He
believed in the greater good."
Carol grinned and laughed.
"Yeah ... he did. Boy, he would have liked you."
The smaller woman returned
the grin easily, grateful she could give some honor to the
memory of her companion's father. They were interrupted by a
loud knocking on the front door. Carol scowled.
"What time is it?"
Erin looked to the clock at
the bedside, it was almost ten and she told her friend that.
"Let's go see what's
up."
It was with poorly disguised
dismay that Carol opened the door and let her partner and
another man step into the house.
"Randell? What can I do
for you? It's late," Carol said quietly. She nodded her
head towards the other man. "Will."
Erin stood at the end of the
hallway, very much wanting to slip back into the officer's
room and wait for her there. She didn't like the looks of
this. But Randell glanced down the corridor before the blonde
had the opportunity to enact her plan. She couldn't read the
look on his face as anything but a sneer.
"You have
company," Carol's partner said slowly.
"Yeah," the dark
woman acknowledged, holding her arm towards Erin. "This
is my friend Erin. Erin, this is my partner Randell and
another officer, Will."
"We've met,"
Randell replied, tracking his eyes from the blonde, to Carol,
and then to the man who'd accompanied him. "Carol
arrested Erin at that demonstration last week."
Will smirked. "Sleeping
with the enemy, huh?" Though his comment was meant more
as a joke than anything, Carol paled slightly at the near
accuracy of his words.
"What can I do for you
guys?" Carol asked softly.
"Oh," Randell
brushed by the tall woman, obviously having been in the house
before. He walked into the living room and planted himself on
the couch, Will followed suit. Carol motioned with her head
that Erin should follow but the smaller woman shook her head.
Carol went down the hall and
took her hand. "C'mon," she whispered. "They're
all bluff and blunder. You'll be fine."
"They already hate me
and they don't even know me," Erin continued to shake her
head, walking reluctantly behind the dark woman as Carol
tugged her along. "I don't want to be a target for their
hatred."
"Then let them see you
and not what you wear or what you represent," Carol said
reasonably.
Logic won out and Erin
entered the room slightly in front of her friend, crossing
over to the fireplace and sitting on a large wing backed chair
tucked into the corner. Carol smirked at her companion's
choice of seats which was farthest from the men, then sat on
the loveseat beside them.
"We want to talk about
the shooting," Randell said immediately.
Carol blanched. Maybe having
Erin hide out in the bedroom wasn't such a bad idea after all.
But one glance at the small woman let Carol know her interest
was piqued and she was here to stay. The dark woman grimaced
inwardly, she hadn't thought of the shooting all day. She'd
been too preoccupied with looking forward to her date with
Erin and then Erin herself once they'd met in the evening. She
certainly didn't want to think about it now.
"I meet with the big
man on Monday," Carol offered, shrugging one shoulder.
"What is there to talk about?"
"What did you
see?" Randell asked, trying for levity but not quite
getting there.
"You know what I saw,
Randell."
"The kid had a
knife," he smiled. "You know that. Every cop on the
scene knew that."
"What did the witnesses
say?"
"That I was an officer
of peace doing my job," the smile was more plastic than
the deck chairs Carol could see through the sliding glass door
in the dining room.
The dark woman sensed her
young friend bristle at the obvious lie and wished these men
away and for her evening to continue without their annoying
presence. She stood up. "I'll only report what I saw,
Randell," Carol said softly. "Now if you'll excuse
us?"
The men stood slowly and
reluctantly. Then they turned towards the hallway, followed by
Carol and a lingering Erin.
Will's hand was resting on
the doorknob when Randell turned around, raising himself to
his full height. "True officers stick together,
Carol," he said precisely, his eyes saying more than the
words. "There's no room on this force for hippie-lovin'
women who don't have the guts to handle a tough situation
properly."
The words angered Carol
visibly. Her shoulders tensed and her ice blue eyes seemed to
shoot flames to the man who was no taller than she was.
"I won't be a party to a murder," she said through
gritted teeth.
"If I were you,"
Randell said over his shoulder, following Will out onto the
front step. "I'd think long and hard about what's going
to happen Monday." He pulled the door closed behind him.
Carol locked it then leaned
forward, her forehead on the cool wood. She took deep calming
breaths and jumped at Erin's presence when the young blonde
touched her hunched back gently.
"Carol?" Erin
whispered, realizing now how little her friend had revealed
the night before and how desperate her situation might be.
"M'okay," Carol
responded with little conviction.
"You're gonna lose your
job, aren't you?"
Carol shrugged, turned
around to lean her back against the door. "Prob'ly,"
she sighed. "My Dad would be so disappointed."
So much was revealed to Erin
in that one sentence. Carol was proud of her job and the
ability it gave her to legally help others. Carol made a
difference to at least one person every single day, just like
her father had before her. She'd likely joined the force so
he'd be proud of her, show her around, talk about her fondly.
Now she was in danger of losing that tie to him and a job that
had become a large part of her life. "No, no,
Carol," Erin whispered softly, sparing a smile for her
friend. "He'll be so proud of you for doing what's right.
So proud of you for being stronger than them."
"I hope so,"
Carol's voice was strangled.
"I know so," Erin
encouraged, reaching out a gentle hand to rub the taller
woman's side affectionately.
"You never knew
him," Carol disagreed, confused and frightened, unable to
let the younger woman's words penetrate.
"But I know you, Carol.
And it takes a great man to raise such a wonderful woman all
by himself."
Carol grinned weakly and
pulled the small blonde in for a tight hug.
"Do you want to tell me
the whole story?"
The dark woman took a deep
breath, letting it shudder out of her. "Can we not do it
as cop and hippie?"
Erin pushed back to peer at
her friend's face and appeared slightly wounded. "Who and
who?" she teased gently. "I was thinking we could
talk about it just you and me."
The officer smiled
gratefully. "How 'bout some coffee?"
Chapter 11
The table in the well-lit
kitchen was green Formica banded around the edge with ribbed
metal. Erin ran her finger's idly along the cool raised
surface, shifting to get more comfortable in the matching
green vinyl chair. There was a more formal wooden table in the
next room but it seemed cozier here in the gentle colors of
the kitchen, listening to the coffee percolate.
Carol hadn't said a word
since pulling out the chair for her young companion. She was
lost in replaying the scene of the shooting so she may better
be able to explain it to the attentive blonde. The fact that
she hadn't been prompted into beginning her story slightly
surprised the dark woman and she turned around and rested her
eyes on the small figure sitting at her table. The blonde
grinned at her gently, nearly oozing support.
"Coffee smells
good," Erin spoke softly, breaking the tension around
them. She could feel the awkwardness and uncertainty in the
tall figure across the room. Though they'd argued before about
Carol's profession, and though the small blonde didn't agree
in any way, shape, or form with the establishment that had
sucked up her friend, she knew this was not the time to raise
those points again. Carol was worried, confused. She needed a
friend who would hear her out and help her reach a
life-altering decision. Erin prided herself in her ability to
be a friend to this woman who was her absolute opposite.
"Did you decorate the
house?" Erin tried another conversation starter, letting
green eyes wander across the wallpaper border and eggshell
paint.
"No," Carol said,
turning her back again under the ruse of searching for
something in the cupboards. "My mom did. My dad kept the
place up as she'd designed it. The picket fence, the shutters,
the wallpapers."
Erin nodded, then vocalized
since her companion was still facing away. "It's
nice."
Carol shrugged. "It's
all I know her by ... her decorating tastes. Isn't that
funny?"
"No," Erin
disagreed, finding it more sad than funny, but knowing the
dark woman would bristle at her sympathy. "You can tell a
lot from a person by the way they dress or how they surround
themselves."
"Yeah?" Carol
poured the mugs and sat in the chair opposite her friend.
"Sure."
"What can you tell
about me?"
"You wear a
uniform," Erin grinned recklessly. "I sense some
sort of authority about you."
Though she tried not to,
Carol grinned as well. "No. This me," she indicated
herself with a wave of one large hand.
"Ah. You're a strong
person with independent thought. You don't love often, but you
do it deeply and remember it always," Erin whispered,
reaching a hand out to squeeze the other woman's muscular
forearm. "You're lonely sometimes, you feel you don't fit
in at the station or here. This place is more your parents and
very little you, but you feel like it would betray their
memories to change it. In fact, I bet you'd rather live
somewhere else entirely."
Carol's sapphire eyes
widened with surprise. "Wow," she stammered.
"You're pretty good at that."
Erin smirked, shrugged a
slim shoulder. "What can I say? I'm gifted."
"And humble."
"Artists rarely
are."
Carol smiled and nodded,
dropping her gaze to the slender pale fingers contrasting
against her tanned arm. "I'd love to see your work."
"We can arrange
that," the blonde said softly, withdrawing her hand to
wrap it firmly around her mug. She took a sip, let the biting
warmth course easily down her throat. It felt right, somehow,
to be here with this woman, sharing their souls.
"So what's your story?
If I were gifted, what would I see in you?" Carol asked
at last, letting the silence string between them for several
long seconds. It was a bold question, really. People didn't
like to evaluate themselves, it was hard enough to hear what
others saw in you, let alone admit your weaknesses yourself.
She thought Erin might decline. She should have known better.
"I run a lot. From my
family, from my past, from things that scare me. To escape
that part of me, I grasp onto ideals and don't let go. I'll
fight to death for what I perceive as another's rights but I
won't pick up the phone and call my mother," she shrugged
sheepishly, her voice low and rich while unraveling the tale.
"I believe in what I stand for ... but I don't quite fit
in either. Not in that big loud house with the peeling paint
and the crumbling people. Half of whom don't even know or care
about the cause they fight for ... as long as they get to
fight. I like a lot, love very little ... am afraid to let
go." She finished her assessment and glanced to the
searching blue eyes before her. She saw undeniable affection
in them.
Carol smiled. "You are
gifted."
Erin chuckled, drank more
coffee. "Now tell me, Carol," she prompted gently,
feeling the time had come.
The dark woman sighed deeply
and rotated her shoulders as if warming up to pitch a fast
ball. Maybe she was, maybe she needed this to be quick and
dirty.
When she started to talk,
Erin realized that's exactly what she'd planned. Though
absolutely factual and riveting, the dark woman's depiction
held little emotion. Erin let it go, recognizing it for the
distancing it was. Carol finished in a few scant minutes and
studied the swirl in the Formica table top.
"There was no knife in
Jimmy's pocket?"
"No," Carol
whispered. "I know there wasn't."
"He didn't threaten to
hurt anyone?"
"No. He said he'd
rather kill us than accept my charity. Or something like that
... he'd cut us ... or something."
"It's hard to remember
now exactly what happened," Erin acknowledged softly and
the dark head nodded.
"But I know there was
no knife. I know Jimmy was frustrated and frantic and felt
cornered. He was arguing and talking big, about his rights and
how we couldn't deny them."
"He's right," Erin
said before she could catch herself. She'd not intended to
mount the soapbox during this discussion. The blonde grimaced,
emerald eyes shining with apology.
Carol offered her friend a
reassuring smile. "No, you're right. I knew that. I could
have done better."
"No," the smaller
woman shook her head fiercely. "No, Carol. You tried
harder than any of them. You probably saved that boy's
life."
Carol sighed, silently
reminding herself that Jimmy could still die. "I don't
know what they'll do when I turn on them," she whispered,
swirling her coffee by moving the mug. The rippling motion
seemed to have her full attention.
"Sometimes it's harder
to do the right thing, honey," Erin said gently, the
endearment slipping off her tongue with amazing familiarity.
"Yeah."
"Do you have any doubts
about what you'll say? Do you think you might ... um,"
the blonde chose her words carefully, "see their side of
the story?"
Carol glanced up
immediately, narrowing those blue eyes as she surveyed her
companion. "I won't lie for those bastards. I just don't
think it'll make a difference."
"Don't know until you
try."
"S'pose not,"
Carol agreed reluctantly, knowing her ethics would never have
allowed her to relay a different story from the one she'd just
told. Her boss would get the same one in a little over 24
hours. She glanced up at the round clock hanging on the
kitchen wall. She hated that clock with the silly goose
wearing a bonnet as the face decoration. It was nearing
midnight.
Erin took the hint, knowing
Carol was all talked out and there really hadn't been a
decision to make anyway. She finished her coffee and stood to
rinse out the cup. "I should go ... I'm sure you're
tired."
Had she been facing the dark
woman she would have seen the wrinkled brow and confused
expression. "Do you want to go?" she asked
hesitantly. Had she frightened the smaller woman off? Was the
reality of being with her suddenly too much?
Erin took a breath and
turned to face her friend. "I'd like to stay," she
said softly. "But I'll understand if you need me to
leave. I can get back to the house on my own."
Carol rose from her seat
with confidence, reaching around the smaller woman and
depositing her mug in the sink as well. She made every effort
to touch Erin with her arm in passing. Then she leaned forward
and pressed her forehead to the fair one before her. "I
would love it if you stayed with me tonight. No strings,
you're not promising anything by staying."
Erin sighed and closed her
eyes, feeling the heat of the woman's breath and the warmth of
the skin of her forehead. "I wouldn't mind."
"Staying?"
"Promising," the
blonde whispered.
"Let's go to bed,"
Carol tugged gently at Erin's hand, leading the smaller woman
through the house and turning off lights as they went until
they were back in the raven-haired woman's room.
They changed quietly, Carol
turning her back to undress and slip on a nightshirt. Erin
slid off her jeans and replaced her sweatshirt with the
T-shirt the dark woman had provided. Then they slipped into
the bed and Carol flipped off the lamp on the nightstand. The
silence was nearly deafening.
"Can I hold you?"
Erin whispered at last and Carol chortled softly, scooting
closer and gathering the smaller woman in an embrace.
"Better?"
"Yeah." Erin
turned into the older woman's arms, resting her head on
Carol's shoulder and her arm across a well-muscled stomach.
Carol could feel the hot
breath on her neck and realized her heart was pounding and she
wasn't nearly as sleepy as she thought she was.
The blonde took a deep
breath and resituated, her legs rustling faintly against the
sheets as she tossed her right leg over her companion's thigh.
Carol jumped slightly at the
warm sensation.
"Sorry," Erin
whispered and began to withdraw but Carol stopped her with a
large warm hand on the small woman's thigh.
"S'okay," she
murmured. "I like it." She dipped her head and was
not surprised when Erin lifted up slightly to meet her seeking
lips.
It started chaste, just as
it had before. Slowly, it turned into something more with each
shared breath, exploring more deeply.
"I can't believe how
you make me feel," Erin murmured between kisses. She
shifted her weight so she lay more fully atop the longer
woman.
"Mmm," was all
Carol could manage but it was obviously agreement. The T-shirt
Erin wore was too big and canted off one shoulder at a
pleasing angle, giving the dark woman easy access to the
smooth fair skin just above the blonde's breast and towards
her collarbone. She kissed there lavishly, applying tongue and
teeth until Erin was moaning and squirming restlessly. Then
Carol returned to the tempting open mouth to kiss her again.
"Carol," Erin
muttered and it was more of an affirmation than a plea or a
query. The confidence of it allowed Carol to gain the nerve to
run a large hand from where it had been resting at the small
of the blonde's back, up her side, and towards her front where
she cupped Erin's breast.
The hippie gasped, arching
her neck back and giving Carol access to the column of her
throat. The dark woman took the invitation gladly, sucking on
the throbbing pulse point.
Carol savored each moment.
She relished the salty taste of Erin's skin, the musky scent
that was part her, part laundry detergent, part arousal. The
breast in her hand was pliant and warm, the tip of the nipple
screaming forth into the T-shirt fabric and wanting more
attention. She'd never imagined making love with a woman, in
fact hadn't really put much thought into making love at all.
Her attention had always been on doing well in school, and
then at the Academy, and then proving herself to her father.
But now, suddenly, holding and touching this woman was all
that she'd hoped for and more.
For her part, Erin was lost
in sensations and emotions, melting into the warm body beneath
her, getting lost in the delicate touch. She slid her hands
down Carol's front and under her shirt to rest on the
well-muscled abdomen she found there, the heels of her palms
laying lightly on the elastic waistband of the other woman's
underwear. The dark woman's skin was warm and soft, the
muscles twitching under Erin's searching fingertips as they
ventured upwards to stroke the underside of Carol's breasts.
First the covers were too
restricting and were discarded to expose their intertwined
bodies to the slatted moonlight coming in through the blinds
and curtains. The pattern was delicate on the fair blonde's
hair, striping her with gold-laced silver. Then clothing
became too much and Carol tugged at the T-shirt, broke away
from her partner with a raised eyebrow, requesting permission.
Erin hesitated just long
enough for the answer to be clear to the officer. They had
wanted to slow down. They'd both agreed to that only the night
before. Carol smiled warmly, not wanting the young woman to
feel awkward even though this reaction was somewhat surprising
after the blonde's readiness in the park only hours before.
The cop smoothed the shirt back down and tightened her
embrace, settling Erin snugly against her. She tucked the
blonde head into the nape of her neck and stroked golden hair
as they both fought for breath.
"I'm sorry," Erin
murmured, her lips moving against Carol's neck, pausing to
place a kiss there.
"Shhh," the dark
woman countered, squeezing her young friend even closer.
"Nothing to be sorry for. We agreed to slow down,
right?"
"Yeah," Erin
whispered. "God ... it's so much. Feeling you, touching
you. Like I'm alive for the first time."
Carol chuckled softly,
bouncing the slight body on top of hers and parting blonde
tresses with the snort of air. "Me too. I never thought I
could feel this way."
"Can you sleep with me
here?" Erin queried softly. Her small body was only
touching the bed at her legs, one between the dark woman's
silken thighs and the other on the outside. The rest of her
weight was wholly supported by the lengthy body beneath hers.
Carol considered the
question, finding the firm weight quite comforting. She felt
safe here in this small woman's arms, felt the world couldn't
touch them here where their differences were irrelevant in the
darkness and the warmth each provided the other. In that
respect, she would have no trouble sleeping with the blonde's
slight weight on top of her. However, the fact that her blood
was singing and her body incredibly sensitized to the woman's
touch assured Carol she would remain sleepless for quite some
time. The longer she stayed awake the more she could relish
this gentle girl's presence. "Yeah," she said at
last. "I've never been more comfortable."
"Me either," Erin
murmured, snuggling more deeply into the arms surrounding her,
inhaling great breaths of Carol-scented air.
"Sleep,
sweetheart," Carol crooned, stroking the woman from the
top of her blonde head to her lower back. The motion was
completely soothing to both of them. After several long
moments, Erin's breath evened in sleep. Carol sighed and
pressed warm lips to silken hair. "Good lord, I think I
love you," the dark woman murmured, surprising herself
both with the emotion and the admission.
Chapter 12
Carol sighed as the door
slammed closed behind her. She knew the entire precinct was
watching her every move. Randell glared at her from the side
of the large room, close to where their desks were situated.
She didn't want to meet his eyes, knowing the fury she would
see there and unable to deal with it at this moment.
The desk sergeant muttered
something unintelligible when she passed him, but she knew it
wasn't good by the snickers from the other officers standing
nearby. Unable to decide what to do, the dark-haired cop
walked right out the front door so she could be out of the
stifling building. She tried to remember the weekend instead,
which had been much more pleasant.
She and Erin had slept in,
warmly embraced in each other's arms. Then they'd gone
downtown for breakfast and a stroll in the open area of shops.
The blonde had been animated and energetic, constantly making
Carol laugh out loud, often doubling over and fighting for
breath. It was at those times that Erin would rest a warm hand
on the other woman's back and laugh with her, the connection
of souls and bodies too much to deny.
Carol took a deep breath,
raising her face to the sky and feeling the sun's warmth drown
her. She'd taken Erin home after lunch, kissing her gently and
holding her close on the front porch until the sound of Minos
clearing her throat had interrupted them. They'd both flushed
with embarrassment and said good-bye. Between missing the warm
body at her side and dreading this meeting, Carol had slept
horribly.
"Hey," a soft
familiar voice interrupted her thoughts and Carol opened her
eyes to glance down the sidewalk. Erin sat on the curb,
wearing a long dress and her hair free of braids again. Carol
almost burst into tears at seeing her, the relief so
overwhelming.
"Hi," the dark
woman responded softly, tugging self-consciously at the
uniform she wore. She walked over and sat on the curb next to
the blonde.
"You'll get your
uniform dirty," Erin admonished gently, bumping the
taller woman with her shoulder.
"I don't care,"
Carol assured her. "Why are you here?"
Erin smiled, reached a hand
out to tentatively touch the dark-haired woman's knee. "I
thought you could use a friend."
"Yeah," the
officer replied gratefully. "I do need a friend."
"Here I am," the
blonde murmured.
"Here you are,"
Carol confirmed. "Thank you, Erin," she whispered,
taking a deep breath.
"Was it bad,
honey?" Funny how the endearment seemed so natural.
Carol shrugged. "He had
me retell the story three times. The first two he hinted that
I should change it slightly. The last time he flat out told
me."
"And you told the same
story?"
"Every time,"
Carol nodded, covering her face with both her hands.
Erin moved her fingers from
the dark woman's knee to take a hand and pull it away so she
would be able to see her companion's face. "I'm proud of
you, Carol. You did the right thing."
"Then why do I feel so
bad?" the officer asked, tilting her head sideways to
meet the emerald eyes peering her direction. She found in them
affection and compassion. It was almost her undoing.
"Cuz the whole thing
just stinks. It's a bad situation any way you look at
it."
"No argument
here."
They sat silently for a few
minutes, soaking in the late morning sunshine.
"How long have you been
waiting?" Carol asked suddenly. She'd been in with the
Chief for hours. What had started as an inquiry had turned
into an inquisition.
Erin shrugged, the corner of
her mouth lifting upwards in a smirk. "A while."
"It means a lot to me
that you came here ... just to support me," Carol
responded softly, squeezing the fingers that were laced within
hers.
"Wouldn't be anywhere
else," Erin assured her friend with a warm smile.
"Do you have some time?"
"Close to lunch?"
Carol asked, confirming that when she looked at her watch.
"Yeah. I'm supposed to meet with the desk sergeant at one
to get my assignment," she grimaced.
"Not good, huh?"
Carol snorted and shook her
head. "Prob'ly not. What did you have in mind?"
"You wanted to see some
of my work?" Erin asked, standing and tugging at her
companion's hand, which she still held.
The dark woman accepted the
prompting and stood as well, fairly towering over her smaller
friend. "I'd like that a lot. You sure you can take me
there like this?" Carol asked, indicating the uniform she
wore.
Erin hadn't really thought
of that or the questions that would arise if she saw people
she knew. But more than anything she wanted to be with Carol.
She could sense the dark woman's uneasiness. The morning
meeting had shaken her up and she was both depressed and
confused. Erin had waited for close to three hours, often
questioning the stupidity of sitting on the curb and watching
the morning mist break with the rising sun. She'd especially
questioned herself when cops had hassled her, threatening to
take her in. She'd agreed to leave only because she wanted to
be here for Carol, not in another jail cell. So she walked
around the block and regained her seat once they'd left.
During all this time the
only thing she'd thought about was how much Carol would need
her and how much she needed to be there for her friend. She
hadn't considered what would happen now. How she wanted to
embrace her companion and kiss her, wipe away the fears and
uncertainty she knew lingered there. How that would be awkward
for both of them in their separate circles. Finally, Erin
raised green eyes to her companion, meeting dubious blue.
"I don't care what anyone thinks, Carol," she
affirmed softly. "Let's go."
Carol smiled and followed
the younger woman down the sidewalk towards the college
campus.
XXXXX
Erin led her friend slowly
across campus, chatting the entire way about the weather or
activities at the house. The ongoing babbling was welcome, the
young woman's lilting voice easy on the officer's rattled
nerves and soothing her immensely.
Carol provided comments
where necessary but otherwise allowed the walk's conversation
to belong solely to the blonde at her side.
They walked through the
Student Union towards the back of the building where Erin
opened the door for her friend, ushering her into a room which
served as a gallery for student art. Carol followed willingly,
stepping just inside the room and waiting for Erin to come to
her side.
"This way," the
smaller woman encouraged, leading her companion towards some
paintings on the back wall and standing silently in front of
them. Carol tilted her head, studying the signature first and
then the art itself. There were three pieces side by side, all
were signed simply with Sky. One was of sunrise coming over
the college campus, washing the buildings in orange and red.
The common grass areas should have been open and green but
instead were littered with lifeless bodies, each calm as if
sleeping. But the flavor was different, the question remained
whether the crowd was sleeping off an overindulged night or
dead where they lay.
The next painting was of a
child, long brown hair and deep brown eyes, wearing a blue
gingham dress. She was sitting in the grass in front of
headstone, hugging a stuffed bear in her arms. The bear wore a
uniform, the grave presumably belonged to her father. The
emotions and expressions in the child's face were nearly
tangible and touched Carol deeply. She turned to the young
woman who was looking at the paintings as well. "That's
amazing," the officer said softly. "You're very
talented."
Erin blushed and shrugged
her shoulders. "I paint what I feel. My drawings are
better ... oil and water color really aren't my preferred
medium." She pointed to the third piece of art hanging
with the others. It was a charcoal drawing of Rainbow at the
park, bandana around his neck, tongue lolling freely.
Carol smiled at the
familiarity of the work. "Do you have a drawing of the
little girl?"
The blonde nodded.
"Have drawings of all my paintings. They start
there."
"I'd like to see it.
What do you call it?"
Erin shook her head. "I
don't name them. Gives them preconceived interpretations,
don't you think? I want people to get what they can out of
them, not what I think they should."
The dark woman pursed her
lips in thought and nodded. The rationalization made sense.
"There ya go!"
Erin shrugged, turned to her friend.
"It's wonderful, Erin.
I really am impressed," Carol smiled, running a warm hand
down the blonde's arm. "Is there more?"
"Not here. I sell some
from time to time. There's a small private gallery downtown
that has one but it's not one of my favorites. One in another
place on campus. The rest I keep at home."
Carol glanced at the works
one more time, her eyes lingering on the mourning child,
before stepping back and walking towards the door. "Lunch
before I go back?"
"Sounds good,"
Erin agreed readily, following her friend through the Union
and back out to the daylight.
They agreed on a deli down
the street and were silent for the small journey, ordering
their sandwiches and taking seats on the small outdoor patio.
"I checked on Jimmy," Erin said cautiously, not sure
that Carol would want to talk about this.
"Chief said they didn't
know about him."
Erin nodded. "They
don't think he's going to make it. I guess the bullet did
extensive damage to his stomach and spleen. It nicked his
spinal cord on the way out."
Carol took a deep breath and
swallowed it, knew her eyes were welling with tears.
"Thanks for finding out for me."
The blonde reached a hand
out and touched Carol's arm. "It's not your fault, honey.
You know that."
"Seems like I should
have been able to prevent it. Has he been conscious?"
"No. And there were a
couple of uniforms crawling around."
Carol snorted, slowly
chewing a bite of her turkey sandwich before responding.
"They're probably waiting to tell him what happened when
he wakes up. Arrest him or something."
"The blood work came
back clean," Erin provided.
This caught the officer's
attention and she looked at her friend. "How did you get
that information?"
"I'm pretty persuasive
when I want to be," the blonde grinned. "He wasn't
on anything, that much was evident."
They ate in silence for
several long minutes. "Was it really bad?" Erin
asked softly. "Your boss? Was he hard on you?"
One broad shoulder shrugged.
"He knows I was telling the truth. He also doesn't care.
I'm sure they'll clear Randell and make me a desk jockey or
something."
"I think Randell's an
asshole."
"I think you're a smart
woman," Carol leaned forward conspiratorially.
Erin laughed, watched her
friend finish off her sandwich and soda, then wipe her mouth.
The blonde did the same.
"Walk me back?"
"Love to," the
smaller woman smiled, falling into pace beside the dark
officer.
They stopped outside the
station, standing awkwardly and watching each other. "Are
you gonna be okay?"
Touched by her young
friend's concern, Carol nodded. "Yeah," she paused.
"You up for dinner tonight? I'd love to see you,"
the officer asked the question sheepishly, her pale eyes
bouncing from the small woman to the buildings across the
street.
Erin smiled warmly, reaching
out to tangle her fingers with Carol's and squeeze gently.
"Same here. Can I come to your house about six?"
"Sure. How do you get
around anyway?"
"I've got feet,"
the blonde said with mock indignation.
Carol raised one dark
eyebrow until it was hidden in her bangs.
"And a bus pass,"
Erin relented with a grin.
They took a few steps apart
as Carol started towards the front door. Then she stopped
suddenly and turned around. "Erin?"
The blonde stopped and
turned as well. "Yeah?"
"If ... if you wanted
to stay ... tonight ... that would be great."
The small woman smiled, the
grin nearly swallowing her face. "Okay."
Carol returned the smile and
started back towards the station. She took a deep breath and
steeled herself for the worst.
XXXXX
Top of her class at the
academy, medals of valor since she'd come on duty, and here
she was filing papers. Carol growled darkly into the small
archive room, shuffling through the manila folders she held
and placing the appropriate ones on top of the 'A-E' filing
cabinet. The rest she set aside for later perusal.
It had taken only a minute
for the desk sergeant to lead her back here and gruffly
explain filing and archiving. Being a 'good ole boy's' shop
and filing being a job for a woman, there were literally years
of it backlogged, sitting in stacks throughout the small room.
First she'd gone through the filing cabinet and pulled out all
the files over ten years old to put them in boxes labeled to
go to records. Now she was just starting on the piles of work.
She'd decided to do the alphabet a section at a time because
the entire thing was just too daunting otherwise.
Frustrated, the officer ran
a hand through her bangs, grateful at least that the station
had air conditioning or this small room would be unbearable.
Check that, more unbearable. She looked at her watch with some
relief, realizing that in about twenty minutes she could head
home and start dinner for Erin. She was planning to spend the
night with the small woman and forget about work and its
draining drudgery. Suddenly, life didn't seem so bad after all
and she caught herself actually grinning and she filed away
the folder on Daniels.
She stopped at the grocery
store on the way and let herself into the small house while
juggling two brown paper bags. She'd never thought to ask what
her young friend liked or didn't like but knew a couple of
safe items from their few meals together. So she'd planned on
grilling chicken and having a pasta salad. With that thought
in mind, she went right through the house, placing the bags on
the kitchen counter, out the back door to start up the grill.
Once the flames were licking at black coals, she went back to
her room to change out of her uniform and into jean shorts and
a T-shirt. She still had about thirty minutes until Erin was
due so she went to work boiling pasta and cutting up fresh
vegetables to go into it.
The doorbell rang not too
much later and Carol set down her knife, wiping her hands on a
convenient dishtowel, before walking down the short hallway.
She opened the door to reveal Erin standing on the stoop. The
blonde grinned and held up a bag, which Carol took as she
motioned her inside.
"Hey," the officer
said softly, bending to place a very gentle kiss on the
woman's fair cheek.
"Hi," green eyes
flashed a smile as Erin placed her palm on Carol's taut
stomach. "Smell's great."
"We'll see. Come in,
come in. There's iced tea in the refrigerator, help
yourself." Walking behind the woman back to the kitchen,
Carol opened the bag slightly and peeked inside. "What
did you bring?"
"Dessert. Better put it
in the freezer."
Carol grinned as she placed
the four individually wrapped ice cream sandwiches next to the
ice cube trays. "Great idea."
"Hot today," the
blonde said lamely, grimacing slightly at her awkwardness as
she poured herself a tall glass of ice tea and topped off
Carol's.
"Sure was. Did you have
class this afternoon?"
"Yeah. Professor let us
sit on the lawn for it, though. So that was cool. Those stupid
old class rooms don't even have working fans," Erin said
with distaste.
"Yuck," Carol
agreed, resuming her position at the counter chopping
vegetables. "Chicken's about ready to go on the
grill," she motioned with her knife to the breasts which
were in a shallow bowl soaking in dark brown teriyaki sauce.
Erin nodded silently, taking
a seat at the small table and running her fingers through the
condensation on her glass.
Suddenly Carol realized that
the blonde had only been carrying the bag of ice cream
sandwiches. She couldn't help the feeling of disappointment
and it must have shown on her face because Erin's brow
wrinkled slightly.
"What's wrong?"
the girl asked slowly.
Carol tried to shrug it off.
It wasn't a big deal if Erin didn't want to stay.
"Nothing."
"Unh unh," the
hippie shook her head. "Tell me."
The officer grinned
sheepishly, pausing in her slicing lest she lose a fingertip
due to her distracted state. "I thought you were staying
the night. But you didn't bring anything."
Erin chuckled dryly, taking
a drink of tea. "I didn't realize it was a slumber party.
I brought me and a toothbrush," she patted a large
checkered pocket on her dress. "Should I have brought
more?"
The dark woman blushed
imperceptibly, feeling foolish. "No, of course not. I
thought you might have changed your mind."
"Nope," Erin
paused a minute while she looked around the clean room, taking
in again the decorations she'd seen over the weekend.
"Have you?" she asked suddenly, turning her
attention back to Carol's long form where the woman had
resumed slicing a cucumber.
"Nope," Carol
chuckled. "We're pretty pathetic, aren't we?"
Erin laughed, nodding.
"I've never really ... cared before ... if someone liked
me or not," she admitted hesitantly.
"Well, relax. Because I
like you."
"You relax, too,"
the blonde responded, finishing her tea quickly and standing
for more. She paused by the chicken. "Should I put this
on?"
Carol glanced over her
shoulder at the boiling pasta. "Few more minutes,"
she decided after some thought.
With a nod, Erin continued
to the refrigerator to refill her glass. After she was seated
again, she decided to broach the touchy subject that had been
eating at her. "How was your afternoon?"
Carol paused a moment in her
slicing before she continued. She finished the cucumber and
moved the pasta to a cold burner before she responded. "Coulda
been worse."
"Coulda been
better?"
She shrugged. "Sure.
Randell went out on our beat with some rookie. I got to spend
the afternoon in the filing room."
"Doing what?" Erin
asked, fearing her friend had sat in the corner like a
punished child.
"Umm ... filing,"
Carol responded with a grin. "Filing ... room ... you put
files in there." She drained the pasta in a colander and
ran cold water over it, tossing the tight curls and letting
the water run all through it.
Erin let out a sigh of
relief. "Were they nice to you?"
Carol just cast her an awed
look.
"Okay ... were they not
mean to you?" the blonde grinned.
"You're good at
that."
"At what?"
"Word nuances,"
Carol replied, tossing the pasta with the freshly cut
vegetables and then a light Italian dressing.
"Thanks ... I
think," Erin looked at her in puzzlement.
"No, they weren't mean.
Just not friendly. Not that they ever were, but now it's cold.
I imagine they're trying to figure out how to get me
transferred out of the station."
"Will they fire
you?"
"If I don't keep my
nose clean. I'm sure they're looking for any excuse. I have an
appointment at the shooting range tomorrow for recertification.
Hmmm ... what a coincidence."
"When did you find out
about that?"
"After lunch,"
Carol knelt in front of the refrigerator to clear a spot for
the salad, then she slid the large glass bowl inside. Then she
moved across the kitchen to the back door, leaving it open
when she went to toss the chicken on the grill. "Come out
here and sit," she called.
Erin obliged, finding the
grill situated on a small wooden deck. Two nylon chairs sat
with their backs to the house and Erin took one of them,
cradling her glass of ice tea in her palms. Silence reigned
for several long minutes.
"What are you
thinking?" Carol asked at last, taking the chair next to
Erin's and leaning back in it.
Erin quirked a grin and
looked at her companion's profile before looking across the
small backyard. "I'm thinking I should come up with
something really supportive to say but the truth is I can't. I
know that you're one of the few officers who cares about all
of us but I also know it's an establishment of closed minds
and brutal training."
"You think it's a good
thing this all happened?" Carol asked softly, her eyes
closed as her head tilted back to welcome the sun's rays.
"No ... I mean ... it's
not a bad thing. It's an opportunity for change and growth.
You've stood up for yourself and your beliefs."
"And where did it get
me?" Carol groaned.
"Don't give me that
self-pitying bullshit, Carol," Erin said crossly.
"You know you made the right decision. I'm only sorry the
Force wasn't what you wanted it to be. If it were, I may not
be who I am."
"Whaddya mean?"
"I wouldn't be
anti-establishment. I wouldn't be participating in
demonstrations and sit-ins and doing my best to hamper your
colleagues," she grinned recklessly. "I'm not an
idiot. I'm not one of those potheads looking for a cause. I'm
educated and down to earth and I believe in a cause worth
fighting for."
"The greater
good," the dark-haired woman murmured.
"Ah. You have been
listening," she paused, attempting to lighten the mood.
"Of course a good toke has its benefits."
Carol laughed, eyes still
closed. "I know you're not an idiot, Erin. You're
intelligent and creative, you have a great depth of
understanding and acceptance. But what I can't figure out is
how you ended up here, with Minos and the others."
"It's where I want to
be," Erin shrugged, puzzled. "I like Minos and the
house and the classes I take. What I do, I do for me, not
because I don't have a choice. I've chosen this, all of it:
the drugs, the rallies, the lifestyle. I'm happy where I
am."
"What about your
parents?" Carol asked carefully.
"Fuck 'em," the
blonde replied flippantly. "Is that chicken done
yet?"
Taking the not-so-subtle
hint, Carol let the subject drop again. She felt rather like
an open book to the young blonde, whereas she still knew very
little about the hippie. "Lemme check," the officer
said, rising to her feet and moving towards the grill. On her
way past Erin's chair, she felt a feather light touch near her
elbow. She glanced down into vibrant green eyes that flashed
apology. Carol simply smiled and ran her fingers gently
through the woman's bangs before resuming her trip to the
grill.
"I'm just not ready ...
to talk about them ..." Erin said slowly.
The dark woman waved her off
with one hand while poking the meat with a fork in the other.
"No sweat, Erin. You don't owe me anything. We're here
for dinner and some company, right?"
"Yeah. Thanks."
After dinner, they sat on
the couch in the downstairs TV room where the cement basement
walls kept the room pleasantly chilly. Carol had scrounged up
a notebook and pencil for Erin and watched the young woman
intently as she sketched everything from daisies to
skyscrapers. It turned into a game of sorts, Carol calling out
items and Erin drawing them in sure gentle strokes. The
officer was completely astounded by the young woman's talent.
Erin was tucked solidly into
Carol, the taller woman having one arm across her midsection
and the other in her lap. Carol's mouth was only inches from
Erin's ear, the soft breath when she spoke all but distracting
the young artist.
"Horse."
"Easy," Erin
chastised, sketching the lines quickly and fluidly, giving her
horse a diamond on his forehead and some spots over his
haunches. "Challenge me," she said, putting some
final wisps into his tail.
"Umm ... a field in the
winter," the dark-haired woman replied smugly, quite
proud of herself. How did one draw a field of snow with a
pencil and nothing else?
Erin nodded slowly, flipping
the page and setting to work. Carol watched the pencil tip
dance across the paper, tilting her head when the image didn't
make sense and she couldn't follow the young woman's train of
thought. Then, slowly, she saw it: a field with a tree
dripping icicles, patches of snow mingled with dead grass, an
overturned wooden wheelbarrow blanketed in a carpet of snow.
The young artist even sketched in the grain of the wheelbarrow
and footprints from it. She penciled the bark of the tree,
added her short signature across the bottom corner.
Carol gasped softly, causing
the blonde to grin. "You are amazing."
"Thanks."
"This is what you
should do for a living."
The hippie shrugged.
"Nah. This is what I do for my heart. Give me another
one." She was enjoying the challenge and the camaraderie.
Taking the hint that harder
subjects were better, Carol pondered a moment. "Here we
go. A soccer team of young boys who've just lost their first
game."
"Good one," Erin
nodded approvingly and dove into the request.
They passed the evening like
that, wrapped in each other and listening to the television
drone on while they merely absorbed the sense of belonging
they'd both been missing so terribly.
Later, they made their way
to Carol's bedroom, changing into nightclothes and crawling
into bed. Hesitantly, they snuggled next to each other.
"Thank you for coming
over," Carol murmured, tightening her hold on the blonde,
relishing the feeling of her body touching along the length of
the smaller woman.
Erin grinned, rolled her
head slightly so she could kiss Carol's shoulder. "Thank
you for asking me."
"I didn't sleep well
last night," the officer admitted sheepishly.
"You were worried about
your meeting today, that's understandable," Erin
acknowledged.
"And I missed
you," Carol whispered, having trouble confessing the
feelings.
"I missed you,
too," Erin responded. "We'll both sleep better
tonight."
Chapter 13
"Are you sure about
this?" Carol asked, looking over her shoulder on several
occasions.
Carol and Erin hadn't seen
each other since the morning following their dinner and had
agreed over the phone last night on lunch today. Erin had
claimed the food at the cafeteria was the best in town. The
place was packed as they stood in line, waiting to pay for
their sandwiches and sodas. The officer could feel all eyes
upon her. She could honestly say she had never felt more
uncomfortable in her life. Even the third day of her boring
filing assignment was fun compared to the eyes of the students
boring into her back now.
"Relax," Erin
soothed. "They don't bite. Honest."
Carol smiled. Erin had a way
of calming her like no one else ever did. The cop had heard
just this morning that Jimmy had died in the night of his
wounds and needed, more than she wanted to admit, Erin's
soothing presence to assuage her rattled nerves. It turned out
Erin had also heard the unpleasant news and was equally drawn
to the dark woman, needing to offer her silent support. Though
Jimmy's name hadn't yet come up, and wasn't likely to, it was
in the back of both women's minds as they absorbed each
other's presence.
When they reached the
cashier, Carol started to dig into her pocket.
"No," Erin
insisted. "You made dinner the other night." She
handed over the bills to the cashier who now had a raised
eyebrow. "Is there a problem?" Erin asked the
cashier bluntly.
"No. No problem."
"Good then you can keep
the change," Erin smiled. "Come on. Follow me,"
she told Carol.
Carol obeyed. They were on
Erin's turf now and it was best if she let the honey-haired
woman lead. They walked down a long corridor, paper-sacked
lunches in hand.
"Here," Erin said
as she came to a lazy stop. She pointed to a framed picture on
the wall. The colors were brilliant and the contrasts had no
distinguishable features.
"What's this?"
Carol asked.
"It's one of my other
works."
Carol didn't know what to
make of it and she cocked her head from one side to the other
- wondering just what the hell it was. One thing was certain,
it wasn't like the other paintings she'd already seen or the
sketches they'd played with just a few nights before. Finally,
she decided to ask.
"What the hell is
that?" Carol chuckled dryly, shaking her head.
Erin joined her laughter,
not offended in the least. She'd expected such a reaction
after Carol had seen her other work.
Erin chuckled again.
"It's modern abstract art ... Kind of like Warhol's work
... that bastard," she swore under her breath.
Carol laughed. She'd never
heard Erin swear outside of topics concerning her parents. It
was kind of endearing and humanizing. "I take it you
don't like Andy's work then," Carol responded with a
grin.
"Oh I loved his work at
one time. Minos met him at a party on campus when he was up
here a few years back. They talked about art. She shared some
sketches. Son-of-a-bitch, he stole her soup can idea!"
"You mean the Campbell
thing with the-
"Yeah! Dirty prick.
Makes me wonder how many other works of his are original.
Maybe he just goes campus to campus and steals ideas."
"Why didn't she say
anything?" Carol asked.
"Who's gonna listen to
a college freshman. Honestly?"
"Ya got a point,"
Carol said going back to examining the work. After a few
moments Carol turned back to Erin, "I like it," she
announced.
"Oh really?" Erin
asked skeptically.
Carol paused a moment.
"No, I'm just trying not to offend you," Carol
laughed nervously. "Look I'm sure it's a wonderful
abstract painting. I'm just ..."
"Not into abstract
art?" Erin offered.
"Exactly!" Carol
sighed.
"Good, cuz neither am
I," the hippie grinned. "I did this piece sophomore
year and my instructor just loved it. Many famous painters
line the walls here," Erin added with a wave down the
corridor. "Since he loved it who was I to say no, I gave
it to the University. Maybe someday the fact my name is on
this it will mean something."
"You said before you
didn't want to do this as a living?" Carol asked,
indicating the painting with one large hand.
"I'm majoring in
political science and communications. I have dreams of my art
being something some day, but I'm not a dummy," she
grinned.
Carol reached out and
stroked the length of Erin's arm. "Dreams are wonderful,
I think if we stop dreaming we stop living."
"Honestly?" Erin
questioned with a raised eyebrow.
"Oh, absolutely."
Carol replied quickly. "Why do you ask?"
"You didn't strike me
as a dreamer, Carol. You seem so deep in reality is all."
"Perhaps, but everyone
should have dreams," Carol answered.
Erin came within inches of
Carol looking up into the deep blue of the officer's eyes.
"And what about you Carol? What are your dreams?"
Carol let out a ragged sigh.
"To be the best cop I can be. To be a leader of men and
women. But with all the things that are happening ... well, it
feels like my dreams are dying before my very eyes."
The reality of Carol's
predicament almost knocked Erin off her feet. She knew the
situation looked grim but it was more than just Carol's
occupation - Carol's dreams were fading too. And Carol was
right. Dreams are what keep us going. But in the same light,
dreams can change. The dark woman had remained somewhat stoic
about the change in assignments and the treatment from her
co-workers but Erin could tell how much it bothered her.
"But you know what,
Carol?" Erin said trying her damnedest to sound
optimistic. "We can always re-invent our dreams, adapt
them to fit our life."
"Yeah," Carol
grinned trying to put up a good front. "You know what I'm
dreaming right now?"
"What's that?"
Erin asked playfully, trying to keep the course Carol was
setting.
"I'm dreaming of a ham
on rye," she said, waving her bag. "Let's eat!"
Erin laughed lightly and
took Carol by the hand, leading her to the exit. "I know
a perfect place by the student union. Let's go."
Moments later they were
under a huge weeping willow, eating their lunch - sharing
their sandwiches. Carol had to commend Erin's assessment of
the cafeteria quality. It was pretty damn good for school
food. Heck it was even better than the deli she and Randell
often frequented during lunch. They sat finishing up the last
of the meal when they noticed Stan making his way over. Erin
tensed at first but pushed it down. Carol was the woman she
was falling for, uniform or not, and she refused to let the
officer's exterior be a problem for her in front of her
friends. She certainly didn't want the dark woman to think
that she was embarrassed to be seen with her.
"You okay?" he
asked suspiciously as he walked up, his eyes shifting between
the officer and his friend.
"I'm fine, Stan,"
Erin replied with a smile. Suddenly her expression shifted to
questioning. "Hold on. Aren't you supposed to be in World
Geography now?" Erin realized, looking at her watch.
"Yeah, but Minos sent
me to find you. I've been looking all morning," he
replied. He did a double take on his next glance to Carol.
Realization washed over his face: it was the same woman that
was in his kitchen. "Oh my God, you're a cop?!" he
exclaimed.
Carol and Erin looked at
each other and burst out laughing. "No Stan, she's just
got a thing for police apparel," Erin said sarcastically
between chuckles.
"But don't worry,"
Carol added calmly, taking a drink of her soda. "It's not
contagious."
Erin and Carol looked back
at each other and started to laugh again.
"Whoa, man, that's
heavy. A cop huh?" he sighed, shaking his head. He looked
up to see two sets of eyes burning into him. "I mean it's
not bad or anything. I think ... nah, it's kinda groovy,"
he said nodding his head repeatedly. "So are you two
kinda ..." He let the sentence hang, not sure where he
wanted to go with it or what he really wanted to say.
"Yeah ..." Erin
answered with a bashful grin. "Kinda," she added in
after thought. "Anyway, you said you had a message or
something."
"Oh yeah! Minos said
your mom called about your dad. Or was it your dad called
about your mom? Shit, I don't remember. I was half toked when
she told me to find you." Stan froze, realized what he
just said and in what company he had said it. Erin didn't
notice. She was too deep in thought. "Anyway, you're
supposed to call home. Gotta run. See ya."
Stan made his way from the
pair as Carol grinned and shook her head at the now paranoid
message boy. She might have been in the uniform but she wasn't
always a cop. Carol was going to make some joking comment to
her young companion but the expression on Erin's face altered
her words.
"What's wrong
Erin?" she found herself saying instead. The girl had
grown as white as a sheet in the course of the thirty seconds
it had taken Stan to deliver his message.
Erin came back from her
thoughts at the sound of Carol's voice. "Do you think you
can find your way back without me?"
"Sure," Carol
answered, rising up along with Erin. "Is everything all
right, sweetheart?" Carol could see Erin was shaken by
the message and not just emotionally. Her young love interest
was physically vibrating.
"I don't think
so," Erin said, a sob teetering on the edge of her voice.
"I can't explain now. Can I call you at home later
tonight?" The question sounded like a plea.
Carol smoothed large hands
over Erin's arms, hoping to calm the young woman's jumping
nerves. She'd never seen Erin this unsettled before and it
frightened her. She wanted to demand that the blonde tell her
everything right then but she kept her voice flat and even.
"You can call me any
time you like," she answered instead.
Erin nodded and started to
make her way home but Carol couldn't let her leave like that.
She stopped Erin and brought her into a tight embrace, nearly
crushing the young woman against her.
"I love you,"
Carol whispered into the honey-hair.
She wasn't sure how it
slipped out but it felt so natural and she hoped the
confession didn't cause Erin more distress. She was relieved
when she felt the woman's tension ease just a bit and her
returning grip get firmer. But soon after, the blonde pulled
back a few inches, her hands gently tugging Carol's head down.
"I love you, too,"
Erin returned the whisper. She reaffirmed her words with a
light, affectionate kiss to Carol's lips. "I'll call
tonight. I promise."
With that Carol let Erin
leave her embrace. Only after the girl was out of sight did
she make her way back to the station house.
XXXXX
Carol was further frustrated
by her treatment in the afternoon. Once she'd successfully
completed rearranging the files and boxing up the archives,
the desk sergeant had given her another assignment.
"You've got to be
kidding me?" she groaned, looking at the slip of paper
she held in her right hand. She glanced from the script on the
page to the sergeant.
He smiled gleefully, his
grizzled appearance actually seeming to soften with the smile.
"All yours, Johnson. Do us proud."
"C'mon, now," she
complained. "This is rookie stuff."
The sergeant raised one
bushy eyebrow. "Are you refusing an assignment,
Johnson?"
"Of course not,"
she replied softly, promising herself she wouldn't complain
again, no matter how hard they made it on her.
She checked a black and
white out of car pool and made her way to the address on the
page. Pulling up in front of the corner store, she shook her
head ruefully before sliding out from behind the wheel and
closing and locking her door.
"Mr. Barnes?" she
called as she opened the door to the small grocery store.
"It's Officer Johnson. Hello?" The tall woman closed
the door behind her, the jangling of bells disturbing the
silence of the store. "Mr. Barnes?"
"In here," he
called from the back room and Carol made her way through the
main aisle and around the cash register to the storage room
beyond. A gentle breeze floated in from the back door which
opened out onto an alley. It was in this open doorway that she
found Mr. Barnes and his latest unfortunate victim.
Mr. Barnes was an elderly
man who gave every appearance of being fragile but he had a
hot temper that immediately flared any time he thought someone
might be insulting him. Apparently the milk delivery man had
offended him today and had found himself in an unpleasant
position. Wiry Mr. Barnes had the tall white uniformed man
backed against the wall just inside the door, a broad mop held
across the taller man's throat.
"What's the story, Mr.
Barnes," Carol said cooly, trying not to sound as bored
as she was. They got a call about once a week from the cagey
old man and it was always something painfully inane.
"Young lady," he
began, glancing away from his prey long enough to run a
discerning gaze up Carol's lanky form. "This thief tried
to trick me out of two quarts of milk! I run an honest
business here and I won't be taken advantage of!"
Carol ignored the slimy
feeling of being leered at by a seventy year old man and
instead turned her attention to the guy in the uniform.
"What's your name?" she asked shortly.
"Ben. Ben
Casings," the man responded. He sounded more annoyed than
frightened and that humored Carol slightly.
"Okay, Ben. I'm Carol
Johnson. Station sent me down to see if I could help you guys
work this out peacefully." She turned her attention back
to the elderly man still wielding the mop. "Put down your
weapon, Mr. Barnes. Ben isn't going anywhere. Are ya?"
"Not much point to
it," the man agreed affably. Carol guessed him to be in
his early thirties. He was calm and collected in his white
uniform with his short hair and clean-shaven face. He didn't
look like a thief. Of course, none of Mr. Barnes's victims had
been proven a thief yet.
"Officer Johnson, I
won't be made a mockery of," Mr. Barnes declared.
Too late, Carol thought to
herself, biting back the sigh at the edge of her lips.
"Of course not, sir. Put down the mop and we'll get to
the bottom of this."
Slowly, Barnes lowered his
weapon and let the fabric end thunk on the floor and echo in
the small concrete room. "Where's your partner? Can they
send a lady out on her own? Doesn't seem proper," he
gruffed, beady eyes traveling from the relaxing milkman to the
tall officer.
Carol shrugged. "On my
own today. Now, let's start at the beginning."
It took nearly two hours to
go through the inventory on the truck, in the store, and the
delivery orders to determine that the elderly storeowner had
not, in fact, been cheated out of anything. Luckily, once the
man saw all the proof and paperwork in front of him he had the
good sense to back down and apologize to the unfortunate
delivery man who was now well behind schedule. After bidding
Mr. Barnes goodbye, Carol walked out into the alley with Ben.
"Sorry about
that," she said with a slight grin. "Happens about
once a week. Didn't your company tell you?"
"Nah. Started new just
yesterday. I think they were trying to initiate me."
Carol laughed, shaking her
head. "We do the same to rookies ... send them to Mr.
Barnes here for a day of counting stock. You can press charges
if you're so inclined. He did hold you at mop point. If you
want to, you'll have to come down to the station and fill out
a formal report."
Ben shook his head, opening
the door to his truck and climbing up inside. "I'll just
pay more attention next time I work with the old man," he
sighed.
"Most do," the
dark woman agreed, her thoughts already wandering back to her
house and how empty it would be. She'd hoped Erin might be
able to come over tonight but the mystery phone call could
very well prevent that. She checked her watch.
"Get off soon?"
the man asked, leaning an elbow on the steering wheel.
"Huh?" Carol
looked up. "Oh ... yeah." It wasn't until just this
moment that she noticed how the man was looking at her. His
expression was gentle and hopeful and while Carol certainly
didn't find him unpleasant he didn't do a thing for her
either.
"Interested in maybe a
cup of coffee when you get off? I have to deliver quite a bit
more but I could meet you around, what, six?"
She found herself blushing
at his attention as she smoothed a wayward wisp behind her ear
where it had escaped from the French braid. "No
thanks," she smiled.
"No really, just a cup
of coffee. I find you really intriguing." He made an
obvious glance at her finger. "You're not married."
"No, I'm not," she
agreed. "But I'm involved with someone. I do appreciate
the thought," she assured him, trying to let him down
easy, flattered by his gentle attention. "If you change
your mind about the charges, c'mon down to the station."
Not waiting for his response, she waved at him slightly and
then made her way down the alley around the corner of the
building towards her parked patrol car. Involved with someone,
she mused. And she told me she loves me. She realized the grin
on her face probably made her look plain goofy but she didn't
care.
XXXXX
Hours later, Carol moved
quietly around the house. She'd put on a TV dinner, not
wanting to make a meal for just herself, and was now walking
through her father's office, tilting her head to read the
spines of the books in shelves. She wanted something to curl
up with, to distract her from the fact that she was lonely.
She'd been alone a large part of her life, never making close
friends or lasting relationships, but this was the first time
she remembered feeling lonely.
Part of her was also
concerned for her young friend's well being. When Erin had
left, the hippie was obviously nervous or upset about
something. Carol realized she knew very little about the
spunky blonde aside from her arrest record and her big heart
and zeal for life. She couldn't even begin to imagine what had
caused her friend such concern.
Finally, the dark woman
settled on an old favorite of her father's, one she had read
many times herself, and carried her selection back with her to
the kitchen. She tossed the paperback on the table and cracked
the oven to peek at her dinner. The ringing phone startled
her.
"Hello?"
"Hey," the soft
voice was immediately recognizable.
Carol sat down, relieved to
hear Erin but also immediately concerned by the defeat she
heard in the now familiar tones. "What is it,
honey?"
"I ... uh ..." the
young woman sounded like she had either been crying or was
about to soon. "I need to leave town for a few days, I
wanted you to know."
"What's wrong?"
Carol inquired gently, wishing the blonde were here so she
could hold her tight and comfort her.
"Something at
home," she sighed, obviously struggling with how much to
share.
"Erin," the dark
woman said softly, her husky voice lilting warmly into the
phone. "You don't have to tell me anything you're not
ready to. Nothing could change how I feel about you."
The blonde laughed dryly,
little humor actually in the sound. "God, I wish I were
there right now."
Carol hopped up. "I'll
come get you, Erin. We can talk for awhile, or let me just
hold you," she wondered if she sounded as desperate as
she felt. "Are you at the house, sweetheart?"
"No ... no," the
blonde stammered. "I mean, yes I am. No, you don't need
to come here. I'm packing some stuff and then Minos is going
to take me to the bus station. My bus leaves at eight."
"Can I come by and pick
you up? I'll sit with you until you need to leave."
Her request was answered by
ragged-breathed silence.
"Erin, I know I'm
pleading ... and maybe I sound too desperate. But I can tell
how much you're hurting. I love you. I want to help you,"
the dark woman's voice was no more than a whisper when she
finished and she could hear across the line that Erin was
crying now.
"I don't feel right
dragging you into this mess," the blonde said at last.
"It's something I started a long time ago and it's not
right for you to have to be involved."
"I want to help you,
Erin. Let me do that." Had it always been so hard for
this small woman to accept someone's assistance? How had Minos
ever gotten in?
Erin was quiet for a long
moment before she took a deep breath. "I'll be ready to
go in twenty minutes. That would give us time for a coffee
while we wait."
"I'll be right
there," Carol promised. "Bye." She barely
waited for Erin's response before she hung up and turned off
the oven. She dragged the aluminum dish out and set it on the
cold burners before finding her keys and coat and heading out
the front door.
Chapter 14
Erin and Minos sat side by
side on the top step of the dilapidated porch. Carol parked
the Mustang right in front of the house and made her way
cautiously up the walk. The two women sat very close to each
other, the older one's arm around the slight blonde's
shoulders, her head tilted as she spoke to Erin in muffled
tones.
The night was clear and
warm, the breeze doing little more than ruffling Carol's
bangs, giving no relief from the humid day. The dark-haired
woman walked up silently, kneeling in front of the two on the
step. Minos looked up first and for the first time since
they'd met, Carol saw gentle acceptance in her gaze.
Minos grinned meekly,
murmured something to Erin, then kissed her cheek warmly and
went inside, leaving the two lovers on their own. Carol took
up the recently vacated seat.
"Hey," the officer
said softly, reaching out a large hand and stroking her young
friend's hunched back.
"Hi," Erin looked
up and smiled weakly, wiping her sleeve across watery green
eyes.
"I ... I want to ask
you some questions, Erin," Carol said slowly. She'd
thought about this the entire drive across town. "If you
don't want to answer, that's okay."
The blonde nodded.
"Are you walking into a
dangerous situation going home? Will they hurt you?" the
officer asked carefully.
"No," Erin
sniffed, wiping her eyes again. "They won't hurt me.
Probably tell me how worthless I am and what an
embarrassment," she let out a watery laugh. "They'll
try to make me stay ... but they won't lay a hand on me."
Though she spoke the words with a certain amount of
conviction, she couldn't help but wonder if it were the truth.
Her mother had never physically hurt her and never would, of
that she had no doubt. Of course, the state of her
stepfather's health would be the determining factor in his own
ability to hurt her. She decided to leave that out, easily
sensing her dark companion's concern.
"Are you afraid to go
back?"
"A little. I never
planned to. I kinda burned some bridges, ya know?" Or the
bridges were burnt for me, she thought. But I never tried to
stop the flames.
"Yeah," Carol
agreed, using her large hand to rub up and down the small
woman's back.
"If I stay too long, I
might not be able to graduate."
"How long do you think
you'll be gone?" Carol asked moving her hand up to smooth
away long strawberry blonde hair. The smaller woman's cheeks
were wet and glistening in the porch light.
She shrugged, tilting her
head to meet concerned blue. "What do you see in
me?"
It was such a sad, insecure
question from this young woman who had an uncanny ability to
exude confidence. It nearly broke Carol's heart. "I love
you," the dark woman said gently. "You're warm and
funny, brilliant, witty. What's not to like, huh?"
Erin grinned slightly before
looking away, letting her emerald gaze travel across the
darkened front yard to the street beyond.
"No matter how they
make you feel, Erin, or what they say ... they can't take away
what you are inside. You know that."
"Yeah," the blonde
chuckled softly. "Yeah. It took me a long time to realize
that ... what I could be without them, in spite of them. The
skin's still a little soft sometimes."
Carol slid closer and
wrapped her arms around the small woman, relieved when Erin
relaxed in her embrace. "A couple days, you think?"
"Prob'ly," Erin's
response was muffled by the dark woman's shoulder. She sighed.
"My father, stepfather, is really sick. My mom asked me
to come back."
"So it could be
awhile?"
"Maybe. But I have to
graduate, Carol. I didn't come this far not to."
The officer nodded, pulling
the smaller woman around so the blonde straddled her lap. The
new position allowed Carol to embrace her companion more
tightly. "How far away is home?" Carol questioned,
tilting her head into blonde tresses.
"This is home,"
Erin responded without hesitation.
Carol chuckled softly,
kissing the head tucked beneath her chin. "How far away
is your mom?"
"Ten hours by
bus."
"If you need to come
home for exams, I'll come get you. Okay? And then take you
back to your mom's."
"You would do
that?"
"Of course, Erin. You
have to graduate. You've worked too hard."
"I love you," Erin
murmured, snuggling deeper into the strong arms.
"C'mon," Carol
began to disentangle herself. "Let's go get that
coffee?"
"Yeah," the blonde
wiped at her tears one last time, using Carol's broad
shoulders to push herself to a standing position. "Thank
you for coming over," she smiled shyly.
The officer returned the
smile and gently ruffled her companion's hair. "This your
bag?"
Erin nodded silently and
followed Carol down the walk and towards the waiting car.
XXXXX
Erin crept silently into the
room, looking left and right. She spotted her mother on the
far left side of her father's hospital bed. Tubes, wires, and
machines were littered around his area.
No one had met her at the
bus stop, not that it had surprised her necessarily, but the
inconvenience of hitching a ride across town had slowed her
down considerably. When she'd arrived at the house, there was
only a housekeeper there. It wasn't the large Hispanic woman,
Maria, she remembered from her youth but instead was a svelte
young blonde. She imagined her stepfather had had something to
do with that change. Maria had been a wonderful woman with a
huge heart, raising Erin and caring for her as if they were
blood. In fact, it was Maria that Erin had cried for on the
nights after she had left. Never once had she shed a tear for
either of her parents.
The blonde housekeeper had
been rude and disdainful, her brown eyes looking down an
aquiline nose at the young hippie before her. Had Erin not
been so out of sorts from the long bus ride and the hassle to
get here, she would have launched a few choice words in this
woman's direction. Instead she simply asked which hospital
they were at and then began the mundane duty of hitching
another ride across town.
She'd ended up walking for
about five miles, weary from her lack of sleep and emotional
turmoil. But all of that seemed to leave her now as she peered
at the two people in front of her.
God. How long had it been
since she saw them last? Five years, perhaps? The gray in her
mother's hair had shocked Erin for a moment. Breathing hard,
heart pounding, she crept closer.
"Mother?" she
approached cautiously. She didn't add more, instead waiting to
see what move, if any, her mother would make.
"I didn't think you'd
come. Busy with your own life 'n all," her mother
replied.
Erin let the comment go. She
could argue the point that her mother was just looking for a
fight like always but instead of provoking it she simply let
it slide off her back. "What's wrong with him?"
The tone of the word 'him'
didn't go unnoticed by mother or daughter. Erin didn't mean to
let her disdain out but it just tumbled forward before she
could stop it. She wanted to chalk it up to how tired she was,
how drained, how much she longed for Carol's comforting
presence. But the reality was that she could never think of or
speak of this man fondly.
"I know how you feel
about David. You never-"
"If you say the words,
'got a chance to know him' I swear I will walk right out of
this room," Erin barked, any pretenses at being friendly
jumping out the window into the sunlight beyond. "And I
will never look back. I'm tired of the rhetoric mother. It's
trite, cliched and not worth listening to anymore - as you
pointed out ...I have my own life and all."
"Why do you hate him
so?" her mother pled. She was an older version of Erin
with darker hair. She still had the same green eyes and fair
skin. Her light brown hair was streaked with gray and pulled
back into a tight bun, so fitting of the woman herself. Erin
tried, but she couldn't remember a time when she'd looked at
her mother and felt anything but distaste. Distaste for a
woman who couldn't stand on her own two feet and say enough is
enough. A woman who wouldn't defend her daughter to a man's
brutality because she was afraid he'd leave her and she'd had
nothing to fall back on: no schooling, no skills. She was
raised to be a wife and a mother, knew no other tasks and gave
up her maternal instincts to support the man who put bread on
her table.
Erin took a moment to
consider the words, tilting her head in thought, trying to
rein in the overflowing emotions that threatened to break the
dams of her restraint and come pouring forth in vicious
outlashing. "He always thought he was someone he's not,
like my father. That man is not my father." She spoke the
words neutrally, stepping closer so she was close enough to
touch her mother but not daring to do so.
"He was the closest
thing you've had to a father for years, Erin. People lose
parents but you have to move on. You can't blame us for
everything in your life." Her mother sounded weary and
her words appeared rehearsed. Had she stayed up nights having
imaginary conversations with her missing daughter? Had they
looked for her? Had they cared? Obviously her mother hadn't
had too much trouble finding Erin this time. Did that mean
she'd never even tried to before?
Erin started to chuckle
cynically, not believing for a moment that either had done
anything but celebrate her disappearance. "Who's blaming
anyone here? Do you have a guilty conscience, Mother? Do you
finally see that the years that man spent drinking have caught
up to him?" Erin crept closer to get a better look at his
face. "I'm surprised he's lasted this long," she
smirked defiantly, hating the cold side of her that was coming
forth but unable to control it. The hatred she felt for the
man was thick and heavy in her stomach, the bile that rose
scratching her throat and coming out in heartless words.
"That happens to be my
husband you're talking about," her mother argued, still
not raising her voice, still appearing weary and defeated.
"And I happen to be
your daughter," Erin spat harshly, taking a step back,
shaking her head. "But that didn't seem to matter to you
did it? You did every single thing that drunk told you to do
because you had no backbone, no spirit to stand up for what
was right. You never stood up for me, not once. In all the
drunken battles I had with that man, and I use the term
loosely, you never stood up for me. You were never there for
me. Now the SOB is on his way to the other side and you need
me to prop you up? Well, sorry, Mother, it just doesn't work
that way." She willed herself not to cry, not wanting her
mother to see how much she hurt. She felt the salty prickle of
tears against the corners of her eyes and she pinched the
bridge of her nose in an effort to hold them off.
"I asked you here
because I thought it would be your last chance to make
amends," her mother answered beginning to tear up
herself, letting go of her husband's hand to reach towards her
daughter. The irony of that gesture was not lost on Erin but
it simply wasn't enough. Not after all this time and all the
heartache.
Erin's face was dark. Cold.
Unreadable. "I love you, Mother, but I don't like you.
And if a peace with him is what you're looking for, well,
let's just say that any hope of that dashed with this
scar," she said revealing her arm.
She didn't have to explain.
Her mother remembered quite well how Erin had gotten it and
she could no longer meet her eyes. All Erin could do was sigh
in defeat, dropping her arm to dangle by her side - nothing
had changed after all these years, she thought glumly.
"Look, Mom," Erin
began, her anger deflated when she realized how pointless it
was. She couldn't change things, never had been able to.
"For what it's worth, I hope he pulls through for your
sake. But don't ask me to do the 'Leave it to Beaver' scene.
That just isn't gonna happen." With those final words,
Erin turned her back to her mother and began to make her way
to the door until her the other woman's plea stopped her.
"Wait!" she
exclaimed softly. Erin slowly turned to face her mother,
wondering what would come next. She watched as the older woman
struggled for something to add, some reason to keep her there
a bit longer. But instead of words, she heard her mother sigh
in defeat. "Take care of yourself, Erin," she
replied softly.
Erin tried her damnedest to
grin through the pain. It was the end of a chapter in her life
and she could almost hear the book slam with harsh finality. I
have no family. "Always."
With that she walked out
without a backward glance.
Carol had spent another
tedious two days at the station filing more reports and
aggravating her dust allergies in the precinct basement. Today
had been especially long due to harassment by her fellow
officers and chiding remarks about her floating through the
halls and to her ears. To make matters worse, she'd worried
about Erin's predicament since the blonde had left. The young
woman was certainly shaken about the news she had received.
Given the beatnik's reluctance to questions regarding her
family, Carol knew things in Erin's world weren't so rosy
either.
They had shared coffee at
the bus station in relative silence that night, Carol reaching
out constantly to stroke the other woman's arm in quiet
support. Though she had never been a woman to show physical
affection, her need to touch and reassure Erin was palpable
and Carol found herself responding to that need without
questioning how it would appear in public. She hadn't cared.
Erin's slight shoulders had been hunched in agony and though
the tears had stopped flowing, her green eyes had remained
haunted. They'd hugged as Erin climbed on the bus, Carol
murmuring gentle endearments that were returned in kind. Then
the tall officer had stood silently aside and watched the bus
pull out into the dark night, making a right turn and
disappearing in its journey towards the highway.
That haunted look had stayed
with Carol constantly during her menial tasks and she hoped
her young friend was coping with whatever horrors being home
had brought.
As the officer changed out
of her uniform she heard a knock at the door, glancing at the
clock, she realized it was just past six and she hadn't been
expecting anyone. In her oversized shirt she went into the
hallway and looked out the peephole. She was more than a
little surprised to see her petite flower child standing
outside.
"Erin?" she asked
as she opened the door. The shock was evident in her voice.
"Is this a bad
time?" the hippie asked softly. "I can come-"
"No! No!" Carol
said gently pulling her inside. "I wasn't expecting to
see you so soon. I've been so worried. Come on in,
sweetheart."
Erin was edgy, fidgety. But
she soon sported a devilish grin when she saw Carol's state of
half-dress.
"Didn't mean to catch
you with your pants down," she teased.
Carol quickly realized just
what Erin was referring to and promptly blushed. "Yeah
well, maybe I was in the middle of something when you
knocked," she teased with a suggestive tone, heading back
to the bedroom again.
"Fantasy is
healthy," Erin retorted, following behind the officer.
"At least that's what a beautiful woman told me
once."
Carol turned to see Erin
beaming at her - full and bright. But even though she carried
a smile Carol could tell the young woman carried something
greater underneath it. Perhaps not sorrow so much as ...
frustration? Carol's curiosity got the better of her and she
had to ask.
"So what brings you
home so soon?" Carol tried to pose it conversationally,
as she pulled on a pair of bell-bottomed jeans and snapped the
waist. Erin shrugged at first and took a seat on the bed.
Carol removed her uniform shirt next revealing the T-shirt
underneath. Erin still hadn't spoken and Carol proceeded to
her closet to find something more comfortable to wear.
"You have a wonderful
back," Erin replied. "Great definition in your
shoulders - very firm, very strong."
"Very evasive,"
Carol teased gently, smiling softly to take away any sting the
words may have carried.
Erin knew she'd been busted
and had to grin in response. "Okay, I'll give you a point
for that one ... I am being evasive."
Carol wasn't sure how to
approach her growing sense of despair. She decided honesty was
best.
"It worries me that you
won't tell me," Carol confessed.
"Why?" Erin asked,
leaning forward a bit, giving Carol a little more attention.
Carol quickly took off the
T-shirt, replacing it with a fresh one. She took a seat on the
bed.
"I'm not sure,"
she answered. "It just feels like you don't trust me.
Like you can't open up to me. I wish you could see that there
isn't anything you can't tell me or do that would make me love
you any less. It just feels like ... you won't let me in
sometimes."
Erin considered the comment.
It was the last thing in the world she wanted. She valued
Carol's trust in her and she thought she had been doing well
to convey her feelings in return. But apparently not, and the
longer she considered it the more misty eyed she got. Carol
noticed Erin's discomfort.
"Hey!" Carol
exclaimed tenderly. "Please don't cry. I didn't mean to
hurt you."
Carol's concern was Erin's
undoing and the tears began to flow freely. Carol gathered the
young woman in her arms, pulling her tight against her,
beginning to rock her gently.
"Shhh, it's okay,"
Carol reassured. "I'm not putting any pressure on you
here, Erin. I just want you to know you have a place to go.
Somewhere safe, that's all ... You're safe with me."
Erin knew Carol was right.
She had finally found a home. A real home. Someplace where she
could just be herself. Something she was never permitted to do
before - not even in Minos's house - because even there she
had a role she was expected to play.
Erin took a few gulps of air
and wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said, managing
a grin. "I need to stop crying on you. Looks like I got
your new shirt all wet," she added pointing to the tear
spots by Carol's breast.
"Yeah, but it will all
come out in the wash," the officer teased back, trying to
relieve the young woman's tension a bit. "So how 'bout
it? Think you can tell me?"
Erin smiled but soon felt
her lip quivering. She loved Carol so much. And Carol
obviously loved her too. It was a unique situation - one that
brought a caldron of emotions forth. Emotions Erin didn't even
know she had. But instead of giving in to the tears again, she
took a deep breath.
If Carol wanted to know all,
she would tell all.
"My ... stepfather is
in the hospital," Erin began. "We never got along.
He liked to drink. I liked to wear flower child clothes. We
clashed, quite a bit. He knocked me around sometimes, was very
physical. But the worst of it was how often he told me I was
nothing. That if I were worth something, they would love me.
He said my drawing was wasteful scribbles ..." she
trailed off, looking up to meet gentle blue eyes. "I
believed him, ya know? I was young and stupid and I thought
that I was a bad person and that I deserved his words and his
abuse. It went on for years, I was young when my father died
and my mother remarried shortly after. I started hanging out
with a kinda rough crowd at school, came home less and less.
Maybe did some things I shouldn't have done, which made me
believe that he was right all along: I was worthless."
Carol didn't dare fill the
silence but instead waited for Erin to continue. She could
sense the sadness in the other woman and imagined the horror
of her upbringing. Carol's father had been warm and
supportive, always encouraging her and loving her despite
mistakes. It was obvious Erin had never had that. Not only had
the man abused her physically, but he'd belittled the girl,
crushed her spirit. Minos must have done a lot to bring back
the vibrancy that Carol witnessed now day-to-day. Only
occasionally did the cop get any insight into the insecure
girl hiding behind the brash woman. Despite her obvious
differences with Minos, Carol was grateful to the other woman
for what she had done for Erin.
Finally, after some calming
breaths, Erin bared her arm to Carol. "I got this from a
broken beer bottle - Miller by the way, in case you're
curious," she added, trying as always to keep things
light. "I got in late one night, senior year in high
school, and he started in with his patented tramp speech. I
was slutting around with the boys, so on and so forth,"
she waved a hand as if the whole thing were negligible.
"Truth be known I was with Minos helping her move out of
her house so she could come here to where we're at now. He hit
me some, yelled at me a lot," she realized she was
downplaying it. She remembered vividly cowering on the front
porch of her childhood home, tucked into the corner. She'd
covered herself with her arms, feeling the toe of his boot
connecting with her ribs. She'd wondered vaguely why she'd
even come home. "He broke the bottle over the porch
railing and tried to slice off part of my anatomy," Erin
chuckled nervously, no humor in the rasping sound.
Carol didn't buy into it;
she just listened intently and sorrowfully to Erin's tale.
That had been the final
straw. In all of his abuse, he'd never done anything so
violent and the reality of the sharp glass glistening in the
moonlight had been too much for her. She'd leapt to her feet,
shoving at him but not completely escaping his attack.
"Well, I moved and he got my arm instead. I ran into the
house. Packed a quick bag. Got my schoolbooks and left. I
never went back. I went to Minos and she took me in. I think
she'd been waiting for me to make that decision. She knew what
he was doing to me but I was so stubborn, even then, that she
knew she couldn't tell me to walk away. I had to make that
decision myself." She sighed, shrugged her shoulders,
bringing the story to the present. "Seems all his
drinking has caught up to him. The nurse said he had a heart
attack. His liver is shot to hell. I'm not sure why my mom
called, really. Maybe she thought he and I could make amends
..."
Carol didn't speak as Erin
paused. She felt her anger for a man she never met brewing
deep inside her but she didn't dare let it show. She didn't
want to frighten Erin back into her reclusion since she had
made such a stride in stepping forward and opening herself up.
When Erin didn't continue, Carol knew she would have to speak
so she tried to pick her words carefully.
"I don't know what to
say," the dark woman answered honestly. "I'd say I'm
sorry but you're not a woman who takes pity, that much I know.
I guess all I can say is that it's in the past. You've moved
on and you're a very bright, talented woman who's got a cop
who's crazy about you in every way."
Erin began to cry again and
Carol immediately apologized, shaking her head at her own
apparent insensitivity. Her apologies, however, were soon
stifled as Erin put her hands up to stop her.
"I'm not crying now
because I'm sad," Erin said swallowing tears. "I'm
happy for the first time in my life. I'm happy. I feel like I
found what I've been looking for." Carol wasn't sure
where Erin was going so she held her tongue. "It's
you," Erin chuckled. "All my life," she
whispered as she met Carol's eyes. "It's you."
Carol's fingertips found
Erin's tear-stained cheek and wiped it dry, the digits cool on
the blonde's flushed skin. Erin tilted her head slightly as
her lips captured the officer's flesh lightly and lovingly.
The kissing of the fingers soon lead to the palm and then the
wrist. Carol could feel where Erin was going, the heat was
radiating off of her in huge suffocating waves, leaving no
doubt as to the young woman's intentions.
"Erin," Carol
sighed reluctantly, meeting emerald eyes. "You're very
emotional right now and I think-"
"Make love to me,
Carol," Erin whispered, cutting the dark woman off. She
didn't want excuses or pity or to be protected from her own
heart. She wanted to be loved. She needed the physical
manifestation of the emotions she felt thick and heavy in the
room.
Carol didn't respond for a
very long time, torn between listening to the thrumming in her
body and the nagging voice in her head. She wanted this, knew
Erin did too. They hadn't actually been subtle about where
this relationship was going but she'd wanted the first time to
be perfect and she wasn't sure this qualified. Erin's gentle
features were streaked with drying tears, the dark circles
under her eyes told of great tension and little sleep. She
looked weary and frazzled, as if she might shatter at any
moment. But Carol knew that wasn't true. Erin had more
strength than she did, certainly, and had spent years building
walls to protect herself. This latest development would not be
her undoing.
The passion in the jade eyes
was unmistakable, however. The pupils had dilated, leaving the
surrounding irises to darken and sport flecks of gold. Carol
looked deep into Erin's eyes, realizing what she was being
offered, and rationalized with herself that their first time
would be perfect regardless of the events leading up to it.
With that conviction, she leaned forward and captured coral
lips that parted easily for her, inviting her in.
"I love you,"
Carol whispered sincerely as their lips parted. "But
remember, if you want to stop at any point-
{{{Carol never finished her
sentence. Erin snared her lips once more with intent, making
sure to show Carol that stopping was not an option. The kiss
Erin stole made Carol’s heart skip a beat and the result was
a great wetness between her legs and an overwhelming need for
pressure there. Some kind of pressure. Any kind of pressure.
The urgency of her arousal
was intense as Carol, gently yet swiftly, lead Erin’s back
to the bed. She settled herself softly on top of the smaller
woman so their legs intertwined. When Erin began to ready
herself for the next series of kisses her leg shifted
accidentally, enacting drawing a deep moan from the woman
above her.
‘She likes that,’, Erin
considered silently. ‘Let’s see if . . .’
Once more she moved her leg,
getting a similar response. The look on Carol’s face told
Erin she was doing all the right things. And the sounds she
was making only fueled Erin’s growing desire even more. And
wWith that desire came a movement of her own, reaching and
searching for a similar contact from Carol. Carol was more
than happy to oblige, forcing her hips downward to meet
Erin’s thrusts which were starting to come more and more
frequently.
But soon that wasn’t
enough. Both women needed more flesh to touch, more skin to
kiss. And in doing soIn response to that gnawing need, Carol
worked the buttons free on Erin’s dress. She was delighted
to see that Erin was totally naked underneath. The sight of
Erin half-dressed and waiting for her to taketo be taken her
made Carol’s heart melt and her passion swell. Both had
ragged breaths as Carol’s eyes examined and admired Erin’s
body.
Carol’s hand tentatively
reached out to stroke Erin’s the blonde’s breasts. She’d
touched Erin before but it was never this intense,. Nnever a
skin upon skin contact. She was unsure of many things:.
Whether Erin would Erin allow her such a pleasure and wondered
if she would she be able to give Erin the young hippie the
pleasure properly?.
Erin sensed Carol’s sudden
uneasiness but instead of talking or giving instructions, she
took hold of Carol’s wrists gently, giving permission to
explore,. Sshowing her how to explore touch and what she
liked. The gesture and the tutelage of tender fingers and
burning friction put Carol at ease once more, allowing her
arousal to be the leader in her movements again.
Seeing and feeling Carol’s
confidence gave Erin the power to seize a little bit of
control. She pulled Carol close and rolled the larger woman
over as their lips locked together for the hundredth time that
evening. Carol whimpered a protest when Erin rose but soon
smiled as she watched Erin working the buttons on her fly.
Moments later Carol’s jeans lay in a heap on the floor at
the foot of the bed. Erin took the opportunity to rise to her
full height and pull her dress from her shoulders, watching it
puddle next to Carol’s bellbottoms.
"God, you’re so
beautiful."
Carol wasn’t sure if
she’d spoken the words aloud or if they were just screaming
in her head. Erin’s sudden sly grin gave her the answer.
Hypnotically, she watched Erin the hippie straddle her lap
and, pulling her into a sitting position by the hands. Once
upright, Carol felt Erin’s hands travel over her breasts and
down her stomach, stopping at the edge of her t-shirt. After a
quick tug and hoist, the shirt joined the other articles on
the floor. Without delay, Erin went to work on the satin white
bra.
Things hHowever, weren’t
going to play and Erin found that kissing Carol while trying
to achieve this task just wasn’t get itworking. She
couldn’t help it and started to laugh, not wanting to break
the mood but unable too refrain from chuckling at her own
ineptness.
"Having trouble?"
Carol teased, relieved at the release of tension.
"Here," she said, reaching behind her to unclasp
itthe offending article and finally sending it clear across
the room.
"Thank you," Erin
chuckled.
"Anytime," Carol
answered in a smoky voice. The seductive tone was all Erin
needed to get things back on track, rebuilding the passion
that had taken a short intermission to the comical side of the
situation of ‘first time’ blunders.
Erin gently pushed Carol
back to the bed with her body as they kissed, her long hair
tickling and exciting Carol all at once. After a few quick
kisses, the blonde Erin pulled back, placing her fallen hair
behind her ear. She looked deeply into Carol’s eyes.
"Do you trust me?"
she asked sincerely, needing an answer before proceeding.
"Absolutely,"
Carol answered without hesitation, nodding for emphasis.
That was all Erin needed.
She could see the sincerity in the depths of the taller
woman’s eyes. The sparkling sapphire was diluted by passion
and trust.
She The young hippie worked
her way down Carol’s body with tender kisses, growing more
and more firm as she went. Her hands stroked delicately across
her lover’s’ skin in the process, building the want
between them. And, oh, how she wanted Carol. She could feel
the azure-eyed beauty study her movements, soaking up
everything around them. The sights, the sounds, the smells,
the tastes – all of them were more than either woman had
expected or experienced in their young lives. This was heaven,
Erin decided as she started to suckle Carol’s breasts for
the first time. This was what living was all about – not the
physical sensations (although that was a wonderful factor),
but the need to belong to someone, to give yourself to someone
one, to love and need someone as much as you were loved and
needed.
Carol’s hand immediately
shot up to the back ofcradle Erin’s head. Her The
officer’s back arched off the bed the instant Erin’s lips
made contact on with her nipple. Carol didn’t think she’d
ever want the sensation to end but soon she found she had
needs lower, pulsing in time to the blonde’s gentle lips and
tongue that needed tended to. Her hips began to buck and Erin
read her beautifullyeasily, giving up the prize she’d
discovered minutes before won, moving ever-farther south on
the raven-haired beauty.
In one swift pull, Carol’s
panties meet the same fate as her other clothes revealing to.
Erin saw the glistening skin between Carolthe other woman’s
legs. She couldn’t contain her moan at the sight and as a
result Carol couldn’t contain her chuckle.
She wasn’t quite sure why
she laughed. Perhaps it was just her nerves fear of the
unknown. She had a pretty good idea of where Erin was heading
and what her intentions might be. Soon she realized that Erin
had either ignored the giggle or had missed it entirely –
too focused on the body before her.
Carol felt a flush wash over
her body as Erin settled herself between herlong legs. And
when Erin’s hair and lips brushed her inner thighs, her need
for nervous laughter passed, being replaced by the wanting
ache for attention at her center. Carol closed her eyes and
simply enjoyed Erin’s teasing touches. They didn’t stay
closed long, however, as she felt the tip of Erin’s warm,
moist tongue stroking her intimately.
"Oh, God!" Carol
exclaimed, her legs opening reflexively opening.
"That’s it,"
Erin answered, stroking her lover’s’ inner thighs with her
fingertips, moving to her center to gently part her lips.
"Open up, Carol. Give yourself to me."
With that, Erin’s tongue
began alternating between long and sometimes quick strokes
across Carol’s sex. The tall woman had never had Carol
didn’t have a lover before, but she wasn’t exactly an
angel, either. She’d spent time pleasing herself. Butthough
none of those times compared to this moment. Nothing she’d
ever experienced had felt this way – as her body begged for
release.
Erin was wonderfully
surprised as she felt Carol grow wetter under her tongue. She
had tasted her own juices over the years of her sexual
experience, but it didn’t hold a candle to how Carol
delighted her pallet palate.
A few more moments were all
it took. Carol’s orgasm ripped through her body at
lightening speed, coming around and around again as her body
convulsed in pleasure. When Erin heard her name on Carol’s
lips, a mangled sound of pain and pleasure it seemed, Erin
knew she’d finally found her destiny. Her home.
Carol didn’t rest. She had
to give this gift to Erin. She had to make the petite woman
feel the same thing. She was determined. Erin was once more
surprised as she felt herself being lifted to Carol’s side,
her back quickly coming to rest on the bed.
Carol straddled Erin’s
leg,. Hher arousal from before still evident from between her
thighs. Carol’s The officer’s time for issuing
affectionate kisses had passed. She wanted this woman before
her. She wanted her now.
Carol’s hand shot down to
Erin’s center as her lips claimed her nipples; tugging and
pulling them into even more erect points. Erin loved the
contact;. Nneeded it the contact. Her body strained and bucked
and thrust against her lover. Carol took her hand away to
start her decent just as Erin had done moments before. But
Erin stopped her.
"Please," the
young woman begged. "Don’t take your hand away. Keep
stroking me, Carol. Please, just keep stroking me."
Carol would do anything for
Erin and if stroking is was what she needed now, that’s just
what she would do. When she returned her hand, Erin gave a
grateful moan and resumed her movements. Carol pushed herself
to one elbow so she could watch her young lover. The erotic
movements Erin was making fueled her desire all over again,
once more bringing a new wetness to her center. Erin arched
and groaned in what seemed like seconds later. Her body
vibrated the bed and Carol felt suddenly consumed with the
need to wrap herself around the quivering young woman.
Maybe it was the newness of
it or their shared arousal, but it was over all too quickly.
They lay afterwards, naked and sweating, each trembling,
clutching tightly to the other, almost as if a promise to
never let go of each other.
Erin leaned back to see her
lover's cheeks were wet with silent tears. "What is
it?" she murmured, concerned beginning to rise. "I
don’t want you to think I didn’t want you to taste me. I
just needed release quickly, Carol. I didn’t-"
"No," Carol
interrupted, pressing her lips to the blonde's sweaty
forehead. "It’s not that," she assured.
"I’m very satisfied," the dark woman grinned
rakishly. "It’s just . . . Llike you said before ...
I'm happy," she said, using the blonde's earlier
explanation of her tears. "It was perfect. I feel part of
you." }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
"Perfect?" Erin
chuckled. "Hell, I couldn't get your bra off for at least
five minutes."
Carol laughed, too.
"Maybe that's because you're out of practice ... you
burned yours years ago," the cop teased. That remark
earned her a chuck to the ribcage courtesy of Erin's elbow.
The officer replied with mock-pain. "And yes, despite the
fact that we had ... undergarment problems," she paused
with a huge grin, "it was perfect. Not the dime store
novel kind of love scene, mind you. But perfect just the
same."
Carol couldn't help but grin
as she thought back to the moments before, wrought with
hesitant exploration and adjusting strength with tenderness
that was firm enough to provide reaction. Love had guided
them, however, to understanding and soon the movements had
become more practiced and confident, more about pleasuring and
less about doing things right.
Already, Carol found her
fingers trailing across moist skin to dance along the blonde's
spine to the small of her back. Erin lurched her hips in
response, aroused again, her heartbeat quickening.
"Well you know what
they say? Practice makes perfect," Carol murmured,
nipping a pale earlobe and then sucking it in to lave with her
tongue.
"Ugh," Erin
moaned. "They teach you that at the firing range?"
Carol chuckled. "They
most certainly did not teach me this at the firing range. This
is more of a 'hands-on' learning experience. Situational
training they call it. Placing you in a scenario and seeing
how you react. So far I think we've both passed with flying
colors."
Later that evening, they
left the bed only to find some sustenance in the old white
Frigidaire. Even then they couldn't keep their hands off of
each other, sharing morsels of food and kisses with equal
abandon.
"Have you been to
Minos's yet?" Carol murmured, kissing Erin deeply before
popping the last tidbit of food into the smaller woman's
mouth.
"No. Came straight
here."
"Does she know you're
back?" Another kiss.
"No."
"Should you tell
her?"
Erin grinned devilishly.
"She can wait. Touch me again."
It was all the invitation
Carol had needed. Tossing her dishes into the sink, she swept
a giddy Erin off her feet and carried her back to the dark,
musty bedroom.
Chapter 15
The week had been stressful
for Erin. Not only did the visit with her mother leave her
feeling drained; her last week of school with finals wasn't
much better. She imagined she had done well but it had been
hard for her to focus. Of course, not all of her thoughts were
jaded reminders of recent events. She had some very pleasant
erotic thoughts of the past week, which also provided a
delightful distraction from her studies. She'd spent most
evenings at Carol's house trying to study but usually ending
up entwined in the taller woman's long arms and legs with
books tossed aside.
Now as she skipped down the
stairs of Minos' house she felt a bit of relief and relaxation
settle over her spirit: aside from waiting for grades and
graduation, school was done, she'd confronted her mother, and
things were going well with Carol. As she rounded the corner
into the kitchen, she saw the house engaged in the usual
Friday night toke-fest, which actually started more Friday
afternoon than Friday night. She caught only half the argument
between Stan and Bill as she watched Minos' lighting up.
"I can't believe Joy
was dry," Bill argued.
"I told you not to
worry. Joy assured me this weed was just as good as
hers," Stan countered. "So just relax and light up
would ya?"
"Well, I've got that
rally meeting tonight and shit ..." he said looking at
his watch, "I'm already gonna be late."
"Come on," Stan
insisted. "Just mellow out and hang with us awhile."
Erin offered little to the
conversation. She just strolled over to Minos who offered the
petite blonde a hit off the doobie. Erin inhaled deeply,
pausing to let the drugs work into her lungs, soothing her
mind. Two joints later she found it harder to stay upright,
her eyes glossing over at a startling rate. She reached for
her bottle of Pepsi and watched it literally melt before her
eyes. Something was wrong. Very wrong. She couldn't remember
how long she had sat there. She tried her damnedest to focus
on the things around her but it was of no use - everything was
melting.
A sudden thud and the
resulting laughter around her made her turn to her right.
Minos had passed out on the table and the room, filled with
roommates and their lovers of the night, chuckled at the
sight.
Erin looked over and watched
Bill start to make his way out the door. She must have called
his name because he walked back to the table, apparently
frustrated that he couldn't leave yet.
"What is it, Skylon?"
he asked impatiently.
The words were quick and to
the point but he sounded like a stretched 8-track tape - the
tones long and deep. Erin couldn't reply. She felt herself
begin to twitch and jerk. Bill's impatience began to slip from
his face and concern took over.
Erin could hear the gagging
noise but she didn't know it was coming from her. Bill managed
to catch her as she began to tumble out of the chair. He felt
Erin lightly grab his shirt and stutter something.
"What?" He asked
in panic. "What did you say, sweetheart?"
Erin struggled with the two
syllables but finally she spit them out. "Ca - rol."
"Carol?" Bill
asked and watched the slightest nod. "You want me to get
Carol?" Again another slight nod.
"Woooo! What happened
to her?" Stan asked in laughter as he saw Erin on the
floor. He looked over and watched as Bill searched frantically
through sheets and scraps of paper by the phone. Finally he
found the name and two numbers.
"What are you doing,
man?" Stan asked as he watched Bill.
Bill simply ignored him and
dialed the first number on the slip of paper. Unable to wait,
he let it ring three times before hanging up and trying the
second number. This time it rang only once before a gruff
voice answered, "Police Station." Quickly Bill hung
up and looked to Stan with bewilderment written across his
thin features.
"You got Carol's
number?" Bill asked quickly, thinking the second number
might have been written incorrectly.
"Yeah, it's in your
hand, man," the drugged-out roomie answered, shaking his
head, not sure he understood the worry in his friend's
features.
"No," Bill
retorted hotly. "This number is to the goddamn police
station." He was exasperated, eyes glancing quickly to
the writhing blonde on the floor and Minos passed out at the
table.
"Yeah," Stan
answered without concern. "She's a cop."
Bill ran his fingers through
his long hair. "She's what?!" he yelled loud enough
to get the room's attention. "Carol's a fuckin' cop?!
Just great!" And Skylon had asked for her. Bringing a cop
here would be like walking right into the sheriff's office and
turning himself in.
"What's the
problem?" Stan asked again, still completely confused,
not sensing the urgency of the situation.
"Jesus Christ! Look at
her! She's trippin' bad, man!" the first man responded,
pointing to Erin. "Where the hell did you get that
shit?" he accused, indicating the bag of reefers on the
table. Bill tore the bag open and ripped the cigarettes apart
with trembling fingers. Taking a small weed he sniffed and
licked it. "Oh fuck," he nearly cried. "This
shit is fuckin' laced, man. Oh shit! We're fucked. We are
seriously fucked here, man." He ran his hands through his
hair again, tugging it lightly as if willing his brain to kick
into motion.
"What are we gonna
do?" Stan asked, finally, paranoia beginning to creep
inside him as he realized the extent of Bill's words. He
looked back to the small blonde on the floor and could nearly
feel her agony as she trembled and moaned. "If she dies
..."
"She's not gonna fuckin'
die okay?" Bill growled as he returned to her side.
"Look, I'm gonna go down to the station house and get
Carol. She'll know what to do."
"You can't do that man.
She's a fucking cop!" Stan argued. "You can't bring
her here ... let her see this."
"I'm not gonna sit here
and fight with you! So get your stupid ass over her and help
me take her to her bedroom. Skylon needs help and she asked
for Carol. Carol will take care of her and figure out how to
handle this. She won't want Skylon arrested."
Apparently Bill's words had
little impact on Stan who still stood stupidly watching his
friend bent over the small woman. With a grunt of
dissatisfaction, Bill lifted Erin in his arms and balanced her
slight weight before starting towards the steps that would
take him to the bedrooms. With his head bent in tender
concern, he listened to the young woman beg for Carol.
"Just relax," he coaxed as they walked along.
"I'll find her, sweetie. I'll bring her to ya," He
promised softly. The words seemed to calm her and she appeared
less restless when he finally settled her on the mattress in
her room. Bill took great care to roll her on her stomach,
tilting her head in hopes that she wouldn't choke should she
vomit.
Stan had followed them and
now stood swaying in the doorway, appearing as if he was going
to pass out at any second. Bill turned around and shook his
head in disgust, gaining his feet and pushing past his useless
friend. "Keep an eye on her," he ordered. "I'll
be right back," and with that, he left the house.
XXXXX
"Can I help you,
kid?" the desk sergeant asked, barely even looking up
from the forms in front of him. He sounded disinterested at
best.
"Yeah. Carol
please," Bill requested nervously, glancing around him,
shifting his weight from foot to foot.
"What do you want with
Officer Johnson?" the other man asked, looking up for a
moment to scrutinize the lanky kid in front of him. Figures
Johnson would keep company like this, he mused.
"There's an emergency.
I have to speak to her." Even though he was angered by
the other man's obvious disdain, Bill spoke softly and
politely. He didn't want to cause any trouble at this point.
He had to find his target and get her to the destination as
fast as possible.
Luckily, just then Carol
walked up the steps from the filing room and she spotted the
young man at the counter. Though he looked familiar, she
couldn't remember his name, so she slowly walked over and
cocked her head at him, wondering why he was at the station.
He wasn't cuffed so he obviously came in of his own accord,
which seemed slightly unusual. Suddenly, inexplicable concern
took hold of Carol and she picked up her pace toward the young
man.
Bill was getting frustrated
with the desk sergeant's lack of motivation to find Carol when
he spotted her out of the corner of his eye. Quickly he raced
over, taking her by the elbow to a semi-secluded area.
"What's wrong?"
Carol asked. She could see the worry lines deep in his young
forehead and she tried to stay calm even as her body hummed
with the need for action.
"It's Skylon -
Erin," he corrected himself quickly. "She's ... in
trouble."
"She hurt?" Carol
asked, cold with fear.
"She's really sick. We
were ... smoking ... and she got sick. She's calling for
you," Bill explained meekly. He knew that he was doing a
poor job of delivering the story, he just hoped it was enough
to get the dark woman to come with him. "Please come back
to the house. I'm not sure what else to do." Begging
might help, too, he reasoned with himself.
Without a word, Carol nodded
and followed Bill toward the door, lightly shoving him in
front of her to hurry him along. As she was leaving, she
shouted to the desk sergeant she was done for the day.
"Oh no you're
not," he replied, finally showing some action and coming
around the desk to confront her. "You've got reports to
finish. If you want time off, ya gotta request it from the
boss just like the rest of us."
"The reports can
wait," Carol replied angrily as her body shook. "I
have a personal emergency to tend to," she added, turning
to face him and hoping to resolve this reasonably. She was
already in enough trouble here, but there was no way in hell
she wouldn't go to Erin's aid.
"You're on the clock
till five, Johnson. It's only 3 right now. If you wanna keep
serving and protecting, I suggest you get your ass back in
that cellar," the beefy man said smugly, enjoying this
power game. They had done everything they could to make
Carol's life miserable. He was secretly pleased to have yet
another opportunity to jerk her around.
It only took a moment to
make the decision of a lifetime. Some choices were hard to
make and were debated privately and publicly, the pros and
cons weighed meticulously before an answer was reached. This
was one of those choices that was made instantly and on
instinct. " Well, I suggest you take this badge,"
the dark woman responded, ripping the silver emblem from her
uniform and tossing it at him. It clanked on the linoleum
before sliding to a stop at his well-polished toe. "And
shove it up your ass."
Without a backward glance,
Carol grabbed Bill's elbow and propelled him out the door. The
young man had to drag his chin off the floor and start jogging
to keep up with the dark woman's pace.
"Oh God, please be
okay, Erin," Carol murmured under her breath as they hit
the sidewalk in the mid-afternoon sun.
Chapter 16
Carol took the porch steps
two at a time, not even bothering to knock and kicking the
door open instead. She walked into the house, which was eerily
quiet except for the sound of Jefferson Airplane in the
background. There were scattering of people in different
levels of drug-induced highs spread throughout the lower level
of the rambling home and though they appeared relaxed, it was
obvious the house was wrought with anxiety. Some of them
spotted Carol's uniform and tensed immediately. Without giving
the others a second thought, the tall woman looked frantically
around for Erin and instead spotted Minos lying face down on
the table.
Bill charged inside, having
taken a few extra moments to park the car, and watched as
Carol pulled Minos from her chair and laid the woman on her
back on the kitchen floor, beginning to check for a pulse. He
realized that she hadn't found one when Carol began CPR. Stan
looked on behind her in shock.
"Call a goddamn
ambulance!" Carol barked to him. He paused a moment, more
in surprise than defiance before rushing to the phone. Carol
looked up and saw Bill watching her. "Come here!"
she ordered. "Watch me."
Carol went through the steps
just once. "Think you can handle that?" she asked,
looking into his eyes, determining if he was sober enough to
be of any help. He seemed to be keeping a level head
throughout and had watched her movements intently.
"Yeah," he
replied, coming to his knees next to Carol to take over,
gently nudging the taller woman out of the way.
"Where's Erin?"
Carol demanded.
"Upstairs. Her
room," he answered quickly.
"Keep that up until
she's breathing and have someone down here open a damn
window," she ordered over her shoulder as she once more
took the stairs two at a time, making her way through the
smoke filled room.
Carol slid to a halt upon
seeing Erin through the open doorway. She was a shaking mess,
lying on the mattress in a fetal position. The dark woman
shoved aside her initial reaction and raced to the edge of the
bed, falling to her knees. "Erin honey?" she
whispered, hesitantly touching the girl's face. Her skin was
flushed and warm, eyes dancing beneath the thin closed lids.
Carol brushed aside damp bangs with trembling fingers.
Suddenly, the dark woman
could feel a presence behind her and looked back to see Stan
standing in the doorway.
"Yes?" Carol asked
sharply, furious at the ineptness of the man.
"Uh ... ambulance is
coming."
Carol didn't have a chance
to reply because just then Erin heaved sharply, not giving
Carol enough notice to move. Vomit covered nearly everything:
Erin, the bed, Carol's uniform. Quickly the officer rolled
Erin forward to ensure that her young lover wouldn't choke to
death. She used deft fingers to clear Erin's mouth since the
girl had little control over her own muscles at this point.
"What was she doing
today?" Carol asked Stan.
"What do you
mean?" he mumbled, not sure how a recital of the blonde's
day could help the situation.
"Drugs," the tall
woman growled. "What did she take? We have to tell the
doctors what they're dealing with," she lashed out,
angrily, her voice dripping with dark sarcasm. Her patience
was wearing well beyond thin with this man.
"I thought it was pot
but maybe it had something extra. I had a few hits but Minos
and Skylon had the most. I feel pretty groovy so I'm not sure
why they're trippin'."
Carol didn't give a damn
about how Stan was feeling and was about to say just that when
Erin groaned and began to cry.
"Shhhh," Carol
coaxed, her manner suddenly becoming tender as she wiped the
young woman's forehead. She turned her attention to Stan
briefly, not wanting to take her eyes from the blonde.
"Get me some towels. A cold damp hand towel and some dry
ones."
Without question Stan did as
asked, seemingly relieved to be away from the woman's wrath if
even for a few moments. He stumbled down the hallway towards
the community bathroom at the end.
Meanwhile, Carol stripped
out of her soaked clothing, leaving only her T-shirt and
underwear. As Stan returned with the items, Carol cleaned up
the young hippie as best she could with the large cotton bath
towels and tossed them aside. She also stripped the bed and
tugged off the blonde's gingham dress. Then she placed the
cool rag on Erin's forehead.
"Get these out of here
and get me some clean ones," she demanded, pointing to
the stack of soiled towels. "A larger one; damp like this
one. I've got to cool her body down."
Once he left to get more,
Carol climbed behind Erin into the now sheetless bed. She
lifted the young woman up and placed her head in her lap. Erin
flailed for a moment at the change of position. She was
obviously disoriented but Carol's soothing reassurances seemed
to calm her a bit.
Stan returned once more with
the requested cloth and Carol used it to rub down Erin's
feverish body. "What happened?" he asked.
Carol could feel her anger
burning deep within her. At whom, or what, she wasn't sure.
Perhaps it was just the uncontrolled situation. Carol liked
having a say in her destiny and as she sat there rocking a
mostly nude Erin gently in her arms she realized Erin's fate,
as well as her own, was now in God's hands. She very well
could lose the young hippie and that hadn't been something
she'd planned for.
She wondered just where the
hell that ambulance was and why it was taking so damned long.
Carol had never been on the other side of an emergency
situation. She was always called into the scene as a
professional - never had she been part of a tragedy. Never had
her heart ached as it did now. Suddenly, she understood the
hysteria of victims and family members. For the first time,
she also understood the public's frustration with emergency
personnel reaction time. No matter how fast she responded to a
call she'd never get there quick enough to stop this kind of
pain and uncertainty. She realized in the same instant that
she'd never have that problem again since she'd walked away
from serving and protecting in order to be here now with the
woman she loved. The woman she was going to grow old with. The
woman who could die at any moment.
"No," Carol
whispered aloud to herself and Erin, her husky voice reduced
to a strangled plea. "You fight. Don't you give up on
me."
Stan realized the dark woman
had either not heard his question or had chosen to ignore it
but he sure wasn't going to ask again. Instead he decided to
wait downstairs for the paramedics. Moments later, Bill
appeared in the doorway.
"They're here," he
sighed, pushing his fingers through his long hair. He was
frazzled and sweaty, the slump of his shoulders concrete
evidence of his strained emotions.
Carol simply nodded.
"Did she respond?" The man knew what she was asking
and he looked at his feet, quietly shuffling without saying a
word. "You've done the best you could. Remember
that," Carol said honestly, hoping to relieve some of his
guilt.
She watched Bill move
quickly from the doorway, taking a spot farther down the hall
as the two paramedics worked their way inside. Reluctantly,
Carol backed away to give them control and they placed Erin on
a flat back stretcher to carry her downstairs.
"Both women were
smoking marijuana," she told them as they tied down her
lover. "My guess is it was laced with PCP - judging by
the symptoms of both of them." She was trying to remain
focused on the job, wanting to tell them whatever might help
them save the young blonde's life.
"Such as?" the
paramedic said skeptically, barely affording the tall woman in
underwear a once-over.
Carol didn't quite
understand this bozo's attitude. Then she realized what it was
when she recognized the disdainful look in his eyes. Without
the uniform, he assumed she was just another member of the
house. She was angered for not being taken seriously and the
discussions she and Erin had had about the establishment came
into real focus for her for the first time, the young woman's
lilting voice echoing in her ears.
"I happen to be an
officer of the law," Carol informed him, lowering her
voice an octave to let him know she was displeased with his
attitude. "And this woman is a dear friend of mine so cut
the superior bullshit and listen to me if you want to save
some lives today."
The man's eyes widened and
he quickly apologized but Carol brushed it off impatiently.
She didn't need his platitudes; she needed his medical
expertise. "She's been convulsing, vomiting, and
sweating. And both have been unconscious."
"We'll check it out,
ma'am," said the paramedic responded, respect returning
to his voice.
"You do that," she
warned in a growl.
"Okay," the
chagrined man turned to his partner. "On three. One, two
... three." With that they hoisted Erin up and out of the
room. Carol followed them down the stairs and watched from the
front doorway as the ambulance doors closed. She released a
long sigh as it started its way down the street. Before, in
the station house when she'd first been told Erin was in
trouble, she'd felt the fear of the unknown. Now, watching the
red and white vehicle make its way down the street in its own
symphony of sirens, her fear was based on reality. She could
lose her lover today as they had lost Minos.
"Come on," Bill
said, moving forward to rest a hand on Carol's shoulder. The
touch startled her and she flinched slightly under his gentle
fingers. "Let's get you some clothes and then I'll drive
you to the hospital."
XXXXX
Given Carol's height and
size, she fit somewhat comfortably in a pair of Bill's jeans
and a bright red T-shirt. They'd arrived at the hospital
nearly twenty minutes after the speeding ambulance and had
spent the better part of an hour pacing the waiting room.
Carol was barely able to control her temper, the desire to see
the young woman overriding all reason. Bill spoke calmly to
nurses and doctors, allowing his dark companion the distance
she needed. Finally, they were told that the hippie had been
admitted and was in a room on the second floor.
Carol stopped mid-stride,
having heard the words even across the room, and spun on her
heels to run down the hall and up the stairs at the end.
Erin was lying asleep in the
hospital bed as the dark woman took a chair directly across
from her. For several long moments, Carol merely sat and
watched the small blonde. She still looked dangerously
unhealthy: her skin nearly stark white and clammy. But her
breathing was even and the machines continued to beep
reassuringly around them.
Slowly, Bill walked in with
a cup of coffee. "I didn't know how you take it. Is black
okay?" he asked, handing the cup over hesitantly, not
sure if the woman wanted companionship. He glanced to the
prone figure in the bed, his heart lurching at the state of
his gentle friend.
Carol gave him a genuine
smile. "That's fine. Thank you very much."
A silence passed between
them until Bill asked, "Has she woken up yet?"
Carol shook her head and
examined Erin a few more moments, sipping her brew. She
cringed as the liquid touched her palette. "Is it just me
or does this taste like motor oil?" she teased.
"Hospital coffee is
just as bad as the food it seems," he countered
good-naturedly, relieved to find the woman in good spirits. A
lot of the worry and tension had drained from her broad
shoulders once she'd found her young lover.
They both grinned at each
other and Carol offered her cup over in a toast, which Bill
accepted by clinking his Styrofoam container against hers.
"I'll drink to that," she replied.
This lighter moment was a
much-needed relief from a day filled with so much tension.
"Well despite the
taste," Carol said with a grin, "the sentiment is
appreciated."
Bill simply returned the
smile and Carol watched as it slowly slipped away, his
thoughts traveling to the earlier events.
"Thank you," Carol
whispered sincerely. She could feel her eyes growing moist.
"For what?" he
asked, truly uncertain of Carol's appreciation. "The
coffee?"
"For getting me,"
she replied. "It took a lot of guts for you to walk into
that station house. You did your best back at the house by
taking care of Minos." Bill was going to pose an argument
but Carol silenced him with a finger. "It may not seem
like it but you were a real hero today. I hope someday you see
it for yourself. I think Erin has a wonderful friend in you,
Bill."
He tried not to smile or
blush, given the severity of the situations but he couldn't
help himself. "Thank you," he replied with heartfelt
gratitude. The compliment meant a lot coming from Carol.
"I hope someday I can too, but it's hard."
Carol was going to reply but
Erin uttered a light groan and slowly opened her eyes.
"Erin?" Carol
called softly, returning her attention to the blonde and
setting aside her coffee.
Erin recognized the voice
and willed her eyes to focus, wanting very much to see the
familiar face. Finally, the tall brunette's concerned features
became clear. "Carol? Is it really you? Where am I? What
happened? Are you real?"
Carol had expected this
reaction and wouldn't have been surprised if it had been more
dramatic. Time was lost for the young woman and her
surroundings would be unfamiliar. All of that would pass, the
bigger concern was damage to the small woman's vital organs
and nervous system. Hopefully such would be minimal if at all.
"I'm real, sweetheart.
I'm real," she whispered taking Erin's hand. "Here.
Feel." With that Carol guided Erin's hand over her cheek,
letting the young woman feel her skin to see she was in fact
the genuine article and not some hallucination in her mind.
For several long minutes,
the blonde's cool fingers danced on Carol's skin, reassuring
her that the dark woman was real. It also gave her an
opportunity to awaken more and run green eyes around the stark
white room.
"Where am I?" the
young woman asked as she began to attempt to sit up. Carol
helped with her assent from the mattress by supporting her
slight weight and tucking pillows behind her.
"They brought you and
Minos here to the hospital. Seems whatever you were smoking
had PCP ... angel dust," Carol said to clarify, watching
Erin closely for her reaction.
"Angel dust?" Erin
asked, surprised. Slowly her mind went back to the
conversation in the kitchen about Joy and how this week's weed
was from another seller, not their usual contact. "I feel
like I've been hit by a truck," she said groggily as she
rubbed her face with a trembling hand. Her whole body ached
and her head throbbed as she tried to search her memory for
more details. It was then she noticed Carol was wearing Bill's
university T-shirt. "Why are you wearing Bill's
clothes?"
Carol grinned, trying to
keep things as comfortable as possible for Erin. "We kind
of had an accident. You lost your lunch all over me," she
teased as she used long fingers to smooth back Erin's unruly
hair.
Erin winced at the image
though she couldn't actually recall the incident. Her mind
still felt fuzzy. "I'm so sorry," she apologized.
"Hey, what's a little
vomit between friends huh?" Carol brushed off with a wry
smirk, capturing Erin's chin between her thumb and her index
finger. She traced the smaller woman's jaw gently, focusing on
the cloudy emerald eyes.
"How's Minos?"
Erin asked next, ducking her head from the intense gaze.
Because of her movement, she missed the flash of regret in
blue eyes.
Carol knew the question was
going to come sooner or later and she tried to figure out how
to best relate the bad news. She decided the truth, without
unnecessary padding, would be the best. "She's ... she's
gone, Erin. She didn't make it."
Erin didn't say anything. No
reaction whatsoever. Carol thought for a second that perhaps
Erin had blacked out again or maybe hadn't heard what Carol
had said. But the hippie's voice soon echoed Carol's
statement; "She's gone? What do you mean she's
gone?" The young woman's voice strained with the
question, quavering slightly.
"She was already gone
when I got to the house, Erin," Carol explained gently.
She still stroked Erin's chin and cheek, moving upwards to
push back long blonde tendrils at the woman's temple.
"Bill and I tried CPR but ... the doctor thinks she had a
brain hemorrhage. She died almost instantly. I'm so sorry,
sweetheart. I know how much she means to you."
"No," Erin thought
aloud. She was shaking her head, pushing away Carol's tender
touches. It was all too much for her. "That can't
be," she replied. "It was only weed. Weed doesn't
kill you." Erin's voice had begun to rise with the
resistance that was building in her mind.
"It's called 'superweed'
or 'killerweed' on the street," Carol told her patiently,
dropping her hand to rest on Erin's blanket clad knee. She was
glad when the young woman didn't resist that touch as well.
"It was a very potent formula, honey."
Erin wanted to say
something, but she didn't know where to begin, her mind was
spinning with sorrow and grief. She was confused by the
severity of the situation, since she'd been smoking weed with
Minos for years. She'd heard all the stories, read the
establishment's propaganda, but had never believed any of it.
The reality of the situation was physically painful where it
rested in her heart. Soon she gave up trying to speak, trying
to come up with excuses or rationalizations, and she simply
started to cry, repeating that it couldn't be possible. She
just saw her that day. She couldn't be dead - not Minos. It
simply could not be so. But she had learned a long time ago
that wishing something to be true, didn't make it true. Her
friend was gone and she was lucky to have survived.
Bill watched silently from
across the room as the two women clung to each other. He was
saddened by their loss, yet saw the peace in them from still
having each other to hold. Quietly and without comment he made
his way from the room, out into the sickly white hallway and
towards the stairway that would eventually lead him to the
bright sun beyond. Another day, but so much had changed.
Chapter 17
Minos was laid to rest in
the morning three days later. Erin didn't shed a tear at the
service. She just couldn't cry any more. She spent most of her
evenings prior to the funeral, sporadically weeping in Carol's
strong arms. Her older lover would reassure her that things
were going to be okay, that Minos would want her to move on
and let go of her grief. So at the service Erin kept her head
high and even smiled from time to time. Many wondered just
what had changed in Erin since Minos' death. She looked the
same, dressed the same but the way she carried herself, the
way she acted, was somehow different. She suddenly seemed ...
grown up.
At the funeral, Carol stood
silently by her young lover's side, surrounded by an odd
mixture of people from scholars to hippies to store owners.
Minos had touched countless lives and their gratitude showed
in grief-stricken faces. And the young hippie she had in cuffs
weeks before, the one in which she sensed an air of leadership
and promise, oversaw the ceremony with that very same
confidence but on a much grander scale.
Erin was relieved to have
Carol near her and she leaned against the dark woman who was
clad in a simple sundress. Erin had grinned when she'd first
seen Carol this morning, thinking the tall woman in the floral
print dress possibly the most beautiful thing she had ever
seen. Carol had blushed and brushed off the compliments with a
shake of her head and the wave of her hand. She so rarely wore
dresses that she'd actually had to go purchase this one the
night before.
Erin would have gone
shopping with her lover, however she had an appointment with
an attorney who stopped by the house. Although Minos was
anti-establishment she wasn't stupid. She had made sure that a
will was drawn up naming Erin sole heir to her estate - an
estate which contained a bank account of roughly $2000 and the
house in which everyone lived. When the other housemates
learned of Erin's position many questions began. The biggest
being, did they have to move?
Erin assured Minos had named
her as her beneficiary for a reason - and that reason being
Minos knew Erin had the sensibility and responsibility to
oversee the house. No one would be moving. No one would be
cast to the streets because of a greedy home sale. Erin hadn't
quite decided what course her life would take but she did
reassure everyone the situation would remain the same for
them.
When the service was over,
and all had spoken, the group of people moved to the big run
down house and had a reception in Minos' honor. There were
sandwiches and salads, soda spilling from the cooler, but no
drugs or smoking. In fact, it was that night while curled
around each other in Carol's bed that Erin swore she would
never smoke again.
Carol was mildly surprised
but greatly relieved. She stroked the smaller woman's bare
back warmly, placed a kiss on her forehead.
"You saved my
life," Erin murmured into the darkness.
Carol shook her head.
"No. We were both lucky. The doctors saved your life. I'm
not sure what I would have done if you'd died in my
arms."
"Let's not think about
it."
Problem was there was little
to think about that was actually good right now. Carol had
walked away from her job and was unemployed. She'd gone back
yesterday to clean out her locker, her shoulders heavy with
the angry glares of people she had once called comrades. No
one tried to talk her into reconsidering and she wouldn't have
entertained those thoughts anyway. She had made her decision
and she'd make it again. She would always put Erin ahead of
herself or her career. The certainty of that had shocked her
since she'd spent a life without emotional attachment. But
through the façade of bravado and political opinions, Carol
had seen the young woman's compassion and soul. She knew she
wanted to stay with Erin at all costs and could only hope the
hippie felt the same.
For Erin, she celebrated the
life of her friend as she mourned her death. She graduated
with honors and felt no pride as she walked down the aisle
with the diploma clutched in a sweaty white hand. Until she'd
glanced up to meet ice blue eyes watching her from the crowd.
They'd shone with pride and made Erin grin. The only high
point of the last few days was the certainty of her
relationship with Carol. The tall ex-cop had sacrificed quite
a bit for her and, in fact, had seen the young woman at her
worst but didn't turn away. She ran a hand along the dark
woman's well-muscled abdomen, nuzzling into her neck.
"I love you."
Carol smiled. "I love
you, too."
"What are you gonna do
about work?" the blonde ventured softly. It was something
they hadn't discussed and it seemed a much safer topic here in
the darkness of the middle of the night. The tall body beside
her moved slightly.
"Nothing."
"What do you mean
nothing? You're the best cop they've ever had," Erin
whispered.
The dark woman shrugged.
"They don't agree with that. Besides, I don't want to go
back. Maybe something else will come up. I have some savings
from my Dad, I'm okay for a bit."
Erin nodded solemnly,
turning her head to place a kiss on warm skin. Something would
come up ... or ... perhaps ...
"Carol?" the
petite woman questioned, burrowing deeper into her lover's
shoulder. "Would you consider a move downstate ... to New
York?"
Carol wasn't sure why but
she could feel a certain tension in her young lover's body as
she asked the question.
"Why do ask?"
Carol pondered.
Erin wasn't quite sure how
to express herself and made a humming noise as she considered
things. "I was offered a job with a new magazine. Gloria
Steinem is the editor. With my communications background they
think I might make a good reporter, plus they said if they
have space they could feature some of my artwork."
"That's
wonderful!" Carol said quickly shifting to a sitting
position. "But why didn't you tell me?!"
"Well I wasn't going to
take it," Erin said honestly. "It's in the city. I'd
have to move ... and I didn't want to let you go."
"Oh, Erin," Carol
answered. "Don't give up a promising career over
me," she said honestly.
"This from Miss Take
Your Badge and Shove It," Erin chuckled.
"That was different and
you know it," Carol threatened putting her forehead on
Erin's, doing her best to look menacing.
Erin simply grinned.
"You're not very intimidating when you're naked,"
Erin remarked. "Alluring? Yes but not intimidating. And
sorry to say, it's no different. My life wouldn't feel
complete without you in it."
Carol smiled. She understood
just what the blonde meant and settled back down with Erin
wrapped in her arms once more. A thought occurred to Carol,
"Well, why are you telling me now? Do you want me to move
to New York with you?"
The amazement in Carol's
voice scared Erin. Perhaps she was asking too much too soon.
It was a big step but one she was ready to take. She thought
perhaps Carol was ready too but then again ...
"I mean not if you
don't want to," Erin quickly replied. "I'm sure I
could find something locally. I'm not sure why I even brought
up that silly job offer. Just forget it."
"No. No," Carol
said, stroking her lover's hair reassuringly. "I kinda
like the idea actually. I mean there's nothing here for me
now."
"You've got your
family's house, Carol."
"Exactly," Carol
said, "My family's house, not mine. There's very little
in this place that's me, Erin. I could sell this place. That
would be enough to get us started."
"I couldn't ask you to
do that," Erin said sincerely.
"You're not asking. I'm
offering," Carol corrected. "There's nothing here
for me now. No real home. No job whatsoever," she
chuckled. "The only thing I have, truly have, is you ...
and I think we should start our life together."
"Yeah," Erin
considered it and then nodded in agreement. "Yeah. I'll
go to work and you can use the money from the house sale to go
to college. NYU is a pretty good school."
"Hold on a
second," Carol said putting her hands in front of her.
"We didn't say anything about that. Besides, I have to
earn my keep. I won't be leeching off you."
"How about this?"
Erin offered. "Classes during the day and a few hours
someplace in the evenings. Will that make you feel less like a
freeloader?" Erin chuckled.
"Yes, it would,"
Carol said with a grin. "I'm not gonna be a gold
digger."
"There's one job that I
could hire you for," Erin said playfully as her
fingertips traced Carol's areola.
Carol stole Erin's
fingertips from her taunting skin and kissed them lovingly.
"You forget. I used to be a cop and there are laws
against that."
"I won't tell if you
won't tell," Erin said quickly as she straddled Carol's
waist.
Carol simply gave a
light-hearted chuckle before growing silent. She reached up
and began to stroke her lover's cheek with the back of her
fingers. Erin closed her eyes in reaction and soaked up the
feeling of Carol's delicate touch.
"I love it when you do
that," Erin confessed softly.
"I love doing it,"
Carol admitted freely. "We could do this every night if
we lived together y'know."
Erin opened her eyes to gaze
down at her lover. "So ... we have a deal then," she
grinned.
"Yes. Perhaps going
back to school for me isn't such a bad idea. I'm sure I could
find something to study where I'd be making a difference - if
not police work then some other field," the dark woman's
mind wandered in thought. She'd wanted to be a cop to honor
her father and to prove herself, surely there were other
occupations where she could do the same.
As if reading her lover's
mind, Erin smiled warmly and traced one dark eyebrow.
"I'm sure you'll still make your father proud."
She'd known all along that was the biggest disappointment for
Carol in her employment fiasco and departure.
Carol gave Erin a genuine
grin. This woman could see into her very soul at times - and
although frightening now and then, it was the best feeling in
the world. "You know I think you're right," the tall
dark woman answered. After a brief silence, she pulled the
woman closer, tucking her in once more and asked, "Now
tell me all about this magazine of yours."
"Well ..." Erin
began taking a deep breath. The young woman explained the
format, the audience, the political moments behind it. She
talked about how Ms. Steinem had impressed her - very forceful
but friendly in nature. She discussed ideas for future issues
and her chances of her artwork being seen by possibly millions
of people. She felt like a chatterbox by the end but Carol
assured her that she was very interested.
"What's it
called?" Carol asked.
"Ms," Erin
answered. "It's aimed for all women - not married women,
not single women. It's an expression used to show that a woman
isn't dependent on a man for her identity. It doesn't
constitute marital status. For me, personally, since I don't
need a man, I find that oh so appealing," Erin laughed.
Carol joined in as they
began to tumble and twist on the bed. Tumbling soon turned to
caresses, caresses to kisses and so forth. By the end of the
evening Erin lay sound asleep, exhausted in Carol's arm. The
former officer sighed in contentment. Despite all the recent
tragedy, grand and small, they had survived. And they were
rebuilding their lives, together, as one.
Epilogue
Carol sat silently on the
park bench, overlooking the children laughing and playing in
the field beyond. The trees were just beginning to change to
fall colors: green interspersed with light yellows and
oranges. She took a moment to glance down at the blonde
nestled on the bench beside her.
Lost in thought, Erin
concentrated on the notebook in front of her. She lay on her
side, head on Carol's right thigh, pad of paper tucked by her
chest. Occasionally she scribbled on it. Carol ran her fingers
through the blonde hair tenderly, smiling when emerald eyes
glanced up.
So much had happened in the
past year. The move had been simpler than it would have
seemed: the house selling easily and much of the furniture
selling just before closing. Erin had helped the ex-cop pack
up her few remaining belongings, including many mementos of
her father, and they'd loaded the Mustang and headed out of
town.
Moving in together should
have been awkward but was far from. Everything about it had
seemed natural and easy, even when classes were hard and Erin
was rattled by her work, their apartment had always been
filled with laughter and love.
Next week, the blonde would
be flying to Detroit to do an interview with Rosa Parks and
she prepared for that meeting now, sprawled across the bench
and her lover. She'd found her work very rewarding: a way to
change the world by telling the stories of great civil rights
leaders and educating the public on worthwhile causes. And
Carol had pointed out immediately with a rueful grin that Erin
also didn't have to worry about being arrested in the process,
which had its advantages
For her part, the ex-cop was
enjoying her classes at NYU studying something she'd always
had ties to: law. Locking up the bad guys was in Carol's past
but she knew she had to stay connected to the justice system
so becoming an attorney seemed the way to go. There were many
innocent people, many causes that needed a legal voice behind
them. Carol felt that she could be that voice.
Many days were spent like
this, both women silently following their own paths while
comfortable in each other's presence. Carol smiled again,
glanced back to the open book on her left thigh. Her right
hand moved from blonde locks to rest on her lover's shoulder.
Not too long after they'd
left, Randell was found not guilty by the police review board
in the shooting. It was no big surprise to either woman though
both were disappointed. The surprise had come later in the
form of a phone call from the ACLU who was working with
Jimmy's parents. Their attorney did some research and had
tracked Carol down to the women's little apartment in the
village. He'd asked if she'd be willing to testify as to what
had happened that day. Her eyes lit up at the chance to bring
her fallen comrades to justice. Though a criminal conviction
would have been preferred, the civil suit would be better than
nothing. And any monetary impact on the small station would
leave quite an impression with quick-triggered cops in the
future. The dark woman had easily jumped at the chance. Though
the changes in her life had been more than welcome, the events
of her leaving the force did still haunt the ex-cop. The
feelings of failure plagued her waking thoughts from time to
time, leaving her feeling as if there was something more she
should have done. Finally, she'd had her chance.
Just last month, Carol had
taken the stand, telling her story, the real story. Randell
and the others had glared at her in the courtroom, had gone as
far as harassing her outside of the legal proceedings. But she
knew what she was doing was right and she let the hatred roll
off of her, smiling inwardly at the pride Erin would feel.
She'd thought of how they would celebrate when she got home,
the blonde's enthusiasm more than contagious. She hadn't been
disappointed.
It was weeks later that
they'd heard the outcome and had reason to celebrate again.
The department, as well as Randell, ended up owing $200,000 in
a wrongful death suit. Of course, the money couldn't bring
Jimmy back. It would, however, make departments and officers
more aware of the consequences. If it didn't hit their
conscience, they did have pocketbooks and sometimes hitting
there hurt more than anywhere else.
Distracted by these
thoughts, the words on the page in front of her a blur, Carol
didn't notice when Erin rolled to her back, gazing up into the
angular face of her lover.
"Hey," Erin
murmured, stretching lazily in the warm morning sun.
"Hmm?" the dark
woman's blue eyes focused on the upturned face.
"Have I told you how
much I love you?"
"I believe you
have," Carol grinned, rubbing the smaller woman's
stomach.
"How beautiful you
are?"
"It's been
mentioned."
"How proud I am of
you?"
Carol laughed softly,
nodding. She bent over to kiss Erin warmly, her lips
lingering. "Have I told you that you are the best thing
that's ever happened to me? And that I love you more, find you
more beautiful, and couldn't be prouder?" she whispered.
Erin chuckled and they
shared another kiss in the morning sunlight, listening to the
rustle of leaves and the laughter of children
The End
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