I Just Can't Sleep by White Willow

I just cant sleep!


I want to tell her its fine, everything’s ok. But I can’t get the words out. There right on the tip of my tongue, but they wont leave my mouth. It’s not fair, to be so close to something, but now she seems so far away. I want to take her in my arms and kiss her, never let her go, but I can’t. It just doesn’t feel right anymore. It’s so confusing now. Kennedy thought to herself, feeling the uneasiness between the two women.

"Ah, Umm, I'll see you in the morning” Kennedy said looking away then back to meet Willows eyes. She could see the pain in the red heads eyes, and feel the pain in herself, aching through every inch of her body, and couldn’t help but hear the pain as she spoke those words. Her last words as she slowly turned around to face the door to their bedroom. Our bedroom, Kennedy thought to herself. She sighed, opened the door and walked in, leaving the distraught redhead with nothing but the remnants of the perfume from where the brunette was just standing 2 seconds prior.

Willow just stood there, lost in her thoughts. Damn magic, it just not fair. I didn’t want to cast the spell in the first place. I didn’t want to cast any spells, let alone one that extreme. I didn’t even know what I was doing or if I would put anyone in danger. I never asked Buffy to jump into that vortex thingy, she didn’t even know where she was going or if she'd ever return and to top it off she just assumes, everyone just assumes it’s no problem Willow can bring you back. Willow will save the day. Yep that’s right, good ole reliable Willow. Umm hello people, ya ever notice how all my other spells turn out, usually not how they’re expected to, especially now. It’s terrifying. I’m scared; it’s hard to command the magicks to do your will, when you’re ready to piss all over yourself, thought the redhead, recalling those exact words she spoke to Kennedy earlier that night. I really had no choice; I couldn’t do it alone I needed more power. I hadn’t even realized who I was taking the power from, till I felt her. I felt her power inside me, by then it was too late, there was no going back. I never meant to violate or hurt her, and I know that’s how she’s feeling, it’s just the way I work, like I told her.

I was finally happy. Willow thought to herself. I've been miserable for months now, never thought it would end, that I actually deserved a second chance. She’s no Tara, heck no one will ever measure up to Tara-not even close, but that’s just it. She’s not Tara. She’s Kennedy the woman who finagled her way into my bedroom, my bed even. She didn’t get me there at first, but Ill give her an A for effort. She stood up for me against the SIT's when it came to working magic, Hell she even stood up against Buffy, and she got scared when the magic was hurting me, The woman who played sick so she could trick me into going out on a date with her. Told me I had a sexy pout and lickable freckles, and goddess can that girl kiss!!!

With the last few thoughts a giant smile spread across Willows face, those green eyes finally regaining their spark that had been missing for way to long. I wont give up on you Kennedy, I promise you that much! I'll give you your space for tonight, my brown eyed lil vixen, but don’t get too used to it. With that Willow turned from her room and headed down towards Buffys.

Kennedy slowly closed the door behind her. Surveying the picture before her. There were SIT’s everywhere. You could barely see any open space left on the floor. The room that she used to share alone with Willow now contained about 6 potential slayers. On the good side with their recent arrivals, she now got to share the bed with the gorgeous redhead. Kennedy made her way over to their bed. She pulled down the covers and climbed in. It smelled like Willow. God I love the way she smells, I wonder if she’s even going to sleep here tonight, Kennedy thought to herself. I think I kinda kicked her out. Kennedy quietly climbed out of bed and tiptoed over to Willows bureau, trying hard not to wake any of the girls. She pulled out one of Willow tee-shirts from the draw, and made her way over to the bed and put it on. Well if you don’t return tonight at least it will smell like you’re with me. I wonder if shell stay in Buffy room tonight, thought the brunette, and quickly shook her head, I don’t want her to stay with Buffy and she shouldn’t have to. I’m sure she knows that, I’m sure shell come back. With that Kennedy closed her eyes, trying to force herself to sleep.



Willow opened the door and peeked in to find Buffy sitting alone on her bed. She doesn’t look very happy, Willow thought to herself. “Hey Buff, got a sec?”

“For you Wil, I have many.” Willow smiled and closed the door behind her. “I’m sorry I was so hard on you earlier Will, I didn’t mean…”

“Yeah you did” Willow interrupted, “but its ok, I totally understand”

Buffy looked at her friend with sympathy, “I know you do” Buffy paused……”I know you do what you can, and I know you’re scared, but that’s just it, so am I, so is everyone. ….. If you can’t take it out on your best friend, who can you take it out on, right?” Buffy joked as she moved over to make room for Willow on her bed. Willow sat down and smiled. Kind of a half smile. “Well Wil, if you’re not upset with me, then what is upsetting you. I can definitely tell something’s wrong. Spill it”

“You know me to well, Buffy”. With that any smile that was on Willows face was gone. “It’s Kennedy” Willow sighed. “I hadn’t even been seeing her for long and I’ve already managed to screw things up. The worse part is it’s over…… magic.” The last word, Willow spoke in almost a whisper.

“I’m sorry Wil, I’m sure everything will be fine, she’s crazy over you, just give her some time. This is all a lot for her to take in.

“I know. I know it is. It’s just…. I really don’t want to hurt her Buffy. I really care about her, but if I frighten her, then maybe, we, ah w…w..we’re not a very good idea then.” Tears were slowly filling the redheads’ eyes, but she fought them back. She didn’t really want to break down in front of her best friend, not now; she has enough to worry about.

“Do you really feel like that Wil? Because I really don’t think that you do.

Willow shook her head. “No of course I don’t”

“Have a lil faith in her Wil. It’s pretty obvious, to everyone, how much she likes you. I doubt she ready to let you go.

“I hope your right Buf” Buffy could see the hope in the redheads’ eyes.

“Do you mind if I stay in your room tonight. I want to give her some space, and she’s not going to get that space, with me lying next to her, you know with the whole, her and me share bed thing, and with her upset, that’s not going to make it very easy on me, I can tell you that much.”
“Do you have any idea how good she smells” Buffy could see the mischievous smile spread across Willows face, and the distant look in her eyes.

Buffy chuckled “Well I guess she’s not the only one who has it bad” Buffy smirking at her own words, which brought Willow back from her Kennedyphoria. She picked up the pillow she was leaning on and sent it flying towards the blonde, hitting her repeatedly in the stomach. “For gods sake the two of you are practically joined at the hip.” Buffy managed to get out between whacks from the pillow and her own laughter.

“It’s pretty nice, Buff, you know….. Too feel like that again. She’s incredible.”
“I almost forgot what it felt like. You know….to have someone want you, and want them back just as bad.” Willow was smiling by this point.

“Honestly Wil, I really doubt she’d put so much effort into getting you only to give up right away cause you guys hit a snag. Give her till tomorrow, shell be allllllll over you again.” Buffy said with a disgusted look on her face, sticking her finger down her throat with mock hurling action.

“Please Buffy; if we all had to put up with your constant make out sessions with Riley, I think you can handle a few from us.

“I know your right, Buff”

“Of course I am- I always am.”

“Yeah sure you are” Willow said in the middle of a yawn. Willow climbed under the covers of Buffys bed. “Goddess I’m a lot more tired then I realized” Willow said following another yawn. “So tell me Buff what’s with the long face, you had on when I walked into the room. Before I spilt my guts to you.

Buffy looked down at her best friend, noticing that she was almost asleep. “Its nothing you need to worry about right now, it can wait till morning.” She pulled the covers up from her bed to completely cover the red head. She reached up and turned off the lamp near the bed and climbed under the covers with her friend. “Night Wil, sweet dreams”

“Goodnight Buffy, and thanks again” Willow turned on her side away from Buffy, and could think of nothing but the beautiful brunette sleeping in her bed. Alone.

It had been about an hour and a half and Kennedy could not fall asleep, not for the life of her. She was going crazy. This is ridiculous, Kennedy thought to herself, I have never not been able to sleep, unless I had a reason, like I don’t know… a beautiful redhead to talk to or something. Within that hour and half Kennedy had tossed and turned so much that all the covers were on the floor and Rona had taken them for her own. So not only am I an insomniac, but now I’m a freezing insomniac. “You know just because they fell on the floor, doesn’t make them yours” Kennedy whispered to a sleeping Rona.

“Well maybe if you get off your lazy ass and go and get her, we wouldn’t have this damn problem anymore, now would we Kennedy.” An angry Rona growled back.

“I didn’t know you were awake, and since you are give me back my freakin blankets will you” Kennedy reached down and tried to grab the comforter that was snuggly wrapped around the potential. She pulled, but it wasn’t budging, “Oh come on, Rona. What the hell do you want from me” Kennedy gave up on trying to pull the blanket, but she didn’t let go of it.

Rona grabbed the brunettes’ wrist and yanked her to the ground, so that she was sitting across from her now.

“AAhhhh, what the fu..What is your problem” Kennedy was now facing Rona and she still had a hold of her wrist. “Can I have my wrist back now, psycho.”

Rona let her go. “I want you to go find Willow, have your little talk, and little smoochies and then get your little asses back in the bed so I can get some sleep. For crying out loud you’ve been tossing and turning for almost 2 hours now, you are driving me nuts, now go.” Rona pushed Kennedy off her sleeping bag. “And if you do that now, Ill put your sheet and comforter back on your bed, otherwise your gonna freeze your ass off tonight, understand!”

“Fine” Kennedy got up and walked half way to the door and turned around. She could tell by the look on Ronas face that she wasn’t going to win this battle. She moved to the door, opened it and closed it quietly behind her. She stood in the hallway for a few seconds, unable to move. Yeah willow you’ve gotten to me pretty bad, I’ve never been able to not sleep over anyone, ever in my entire life. Damn you girl. Kennedy could see nothing put the picture of the redhead sitting across from her that night at the bronze. There first date, it was dancing through her head. “You’re so beautiful.” Kennedy said aloud making her way slowly down the hall.

“Who’s beautiful?” Buffy said aloud to Kennedy as she came out of the bathroom. Obviously Kennedy had no idea that she was there, because Buffy had sent the startled brunette flying against the wall opposite the bathroom.

“Are you freaking kidding me? Your supposed to let a girl no your there, before you decide to send her flying against the wall. Like with a clearing of the voice, shuffling of the feet, for crying out loud you know whistle or something.” Kennedy lashed back at Buffy, arms crossed over her chest, stern look on her face.

“Whistle? You want me to whistle, every time I talk to you. Correction, before I talk to you. How about “Yankee Doodle Dandy” or “Lucy in the sky with diamonds” cause I think your tripping, or crazy or something, and besides I’ve been standing here for a few seconds, I don’t know how you didn’t see me.”

Kennedy smiled at Buffys joke. “What are you doing up, you know besides scaring the crap out of me”

“Hmmm mm, bathroom. Had a few to many Pepsi’s with dinner I guess.” Buffy shrugged. “You?”

“Ummm, same thing” the words came from Kennedys mouth slowly, as though she was searching for the words.

Buffy could see right through the potential. “Sure Kennedy” Buffy moved out of the way so Kennedy could get into the bathroom. “Oh by the way…Who’s beautiful?

“What?” Kennedy looked confused.

‘When you were nonchalantly walking Past the bathroom” Buffy drew out the word past. “And past me, you said “Your so beautiful”, Id assume you weren’t referring to me.” Buffy smiled her famous, your so busted smile.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Kennedy dodged the slayers question, but obviously not very well.

“Well Id say by the shade of red your face is turning that you do” Buffy smirked. “Gee Kennedy, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush, you must have it worse then I thought.”

Kennedy rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well now I can’t sleep, and I guess its no secret the I wasn’t going to the bathroom, so where is she?

“My room. take her away, please. She keeps kicking me. She’s driving me nuts. I know that she not sleeping. I know she’s pretending to be, because she thinks I am. But you know the constant tossing and turning and the occasional knee to the back is getting a little tiring, and a little painful. And isn’t that Willows shirt your wearing?”

Kennedy shrugged her shoulders “its smells like her” and walked past the blonde.

“Well Ill just go back to the bathroom then” Buffy walked back in the bathroom.

“Thank-you” Kennedy said as Buffy was closing the bathroom door.

Kennedy approached Buffys bedroom, and quietly opened the door, peeking in she could see Willow in the bed, covered by many blanket. At least she gets blankets. The thought of Rona with all her blanket on the floor brought a small smile to the potentials face.

The sight of the redhead in the bed brought a larger smile to her face. She wanted so badly to be laying next to her, with Willow in her arms, taking in her scent, the scent of the actual girl and not her clothing. She liked the shirt very much, but its nothing compared to the actual thing. She walked over to the free side of the bed and climbed in. Willows back was facing her. She could feel the fire roaring in her body. She wanted to grab Willow and kiss her. She missed the taste of her lips. I never got a good night kiss tonight the thought came to Kennedy. It made her want to kiss her even more.

She edged herself closer to Willow back. I wonder if she’s awake. Kennedy was studying Willows hair. She wanted to run her hand through those locks of red. She was looking at the redheads back. I wish you weren’t wearing a shirt right now. Kennedys thought was replaced quickly with relief. Actually im glad that you’re wearing a shirt, because if you weren’t than I’d be oh so very jealous of Buffy and would want to beat her up right now and would fail miserably, Kennedy smiled to herself.

Kennedy had her head propped up on her hand and she leaned in towards Willows ear. She put her mouth over the wiccans earlobe and started sucking and kissing it.

Willows eyes shot open. She had been awake the whole night just as Buffy had predicted and she was faking it so the slayer could sleep. She was aware when Buffy left the room, and was aware when she returned. “Ahhh B.B.B.Buffy” Willow stammered. “This is so not helping the situation” Kennedy could hear the terror in Willows voice. Willow was so shocked she couldn’t even move.

Kennedy found this very amusing. I am so the shit, she’s so gonna kill me. She moved her lips from her earlobe and kissed a path down her neck. She had her hand on Willows side, so she couldn’t turn, to see her. Then kissed her way back up to the redheads’ ear.

Willow could feel the girls’ breath in her ear. Up until then she was imagining that she was sleeping in her bed with Kennedy and they were having a little fun. At first she thought it was part of her fantasy, till she realized it wasn’t. “Buffffyyy, if you’re playing a jjjoke on me, please stop, it’s not so funny anymore.

“Your sexy when you’re nervous” Kennedy whispered in her ear, in her best sexy husky voice.

Kenne…, oh god now I’m dreaming, my fantasy turned into my dream. Willow tried to turn around but the hand on her shoulder said otherwise. “Kennedy?”

“Well who did you think it was? Buffy?”

Kennedy removed her hand from Willows shoulder and turned her towards her. “Hey Beautiful, I was looking for you and ran into Buffy in the bathroom”

“You thought I was sleeping in the bathroom?” Willow interrupted, sitting up in bed.

“No silly, I figured you were in Buffys room. I just ran into her passing the bathroom.” Kennedy chuckled. “I couldn’t sleep, I was hoping you were going to come back, but when I realized you weren’t. I figured I would have to go and get you. Well in all honesty Rona practically threw me out of the room and told me I couldn’t have my blankets back till I brought you back.

“You must have been pretty cold then” Willow rubbed her hand slowly and sensually up and down Kennedys arm. She could feel the goose bumps forming on the brunettes arm. Kennedy could feel the blazing fire in her body rapidly getting out of control. Kennedy couldn’t rip her eyes away from the redheads gaze even if she tried. “Its amazing that just your slight touch, could do so much to me. I feel like I could explode and faint, and jump around and scream all at once. You’re all I ever think about. You were all I could think about the moment I set eyes on you. You make me exited and happy and awaken every emotion that’s good that I never knew I had. That’s just when I look at you. Hell Buffy got me blushing out in the hall. I don’t think I’ve ever blushed. Ever!

Willow leaned in and kissed her. She wanted to do that the moment she realized it was her in the bed next to her. After everything the brunette said to her she never wanted to end the kiss. She hoped it would last forever. She missed the taste of the potentials mouth, her lips, her tongue. She loved the way Kennedy was not shy when it came to kissing her. The first time they kissed it was Kennedy who initiated it; it was she who wasted no time in feeling out the redheads’ mouth with her tongue, massaging her tongue with her own. Air was becoming a serious issue now and reluctantly Willow pulled away.

“That was some kiss” the potential raised an eyebrow. “I want another”

Willow couldn’t help but obey, but this one was a quick kiss, which left the brunette wanting more, and not looking very happy.

“What are you doing to me? Your teasing me aren’t you? Kennedy pouted.

“I just want you to know that I am really sorry. I would never consciously hurt you. You’ve got to believe that” The tears were forming in Willows eyes, but they were too strong she couldn’t fight them back this time.

Kennedy kissed Willow on the nose then under each eye where the tears were forming. “I know”

“That’s why the magic scares me as much as it does. I’m not totally in control anymore. Things happen before I even realize there happening, and by then it’s too late.

“I understand, I honestly do. I’m sorry. I overreacted earlier. I know I did. I don’t even feel the same way I did earlier..I “

“Well promise me that you’ll always talk to me if I upset you. I have to know.” Willow interrupted. “I care about you so much more than I ever realized. It’s scary actually, but exciting at the same time. I haven’t slept at all yet, either. I missed you to much.

“Don’t worry im not a person that likes to keep things inside. Ill let you know.” Kennedy smiled. Can I have the rest of that kiss now? Kennedy gave Willow her best puppy dog eyes.

“Oh god, if you can give me that look on cue, then I’m in a lot of trouble.” Willow gave her best oh god your gorgeous look.

“Yep, you’re in for a lot of trouble. As much as I don’t want to leave the empty room that we currently have all to ourselves, but I bet Buffy would like to leave the bathroom now. I kind of left her there.” Kennedy stood up, while Willows remained on the bed.

“But I don’t wanna go. It’s so peaceful, and quiet here. And look! Big bed” Willow ran her hand over Buffys bed.

“Well honestly I kinda like the smaller bed. It makes me feel that I have no choice but to be closer to you.” Both girls smiled. “Oh and for the record Willow. I think I missed you more”

“Nope I don’t think so” Willow shook her head.

“Hmm actually I believe I did” Kennedy argued

“Oh yeah, prove it.” Willow grabbed her girlfriends hand and pulled her down on top of her.

“I hope Buffy finds the tub very comfortable.” Kennedy managed to get out between kisses.

The end.

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