Title:
Coming Out All Wrong
Author:
CN Winters
Fandom:
Buffy fanfiction; Willow fanfiction; Buffy slash
fanfiction
Disclaimers:
Joss owns 'em. Not me. Just borrowing them.
Rating:
PG
Pairing:
W/T
Synopsis:
Season Five. Willow and Tara come out to one last person
in the scoobies circle.
Coming
Out All Wrong
Tara was grinning. For
once, she felt like she was being useful to the Scoobies.
Willow reassured her all the time that she was needed by
the gang. But being able to do this protection spell
with Willow on the Summer's house was putting words into
action and she liked the feel of it. As she and Willow
finished the spell in the foyer to prevent Dracula's
return, they listened to Joyce speaking behind them.
"He seemed so
nice and normal…A little pale…"
"A good Sunnydale
rule of thumb? Avoid white-skinned men in capes,"
she teased.
"I
didn't…" Joyce stopped her argument. Sure, Willow
had a point about the light skin but still. "He was
in a suit. A lovely suit… He came by the gallery, and
he was amazingly well informed about art history-."
"Probably because
he was around for most of it," Tara quipped, making
Willow smile.
"I want you both
to know, I am not like this," Joyce told them.
"I do not invite strange men over for coffee. It's
just…it's been way too long." Realizing how the
sentence came out, Joyce quickly added, "Since I
met anybody. You know, someone even remotely
interesting?" She gave a deep sigh. "When you
girls get older, you'll understand. It's hard to date.
Sometimes you feel like giving up on men
altogether."
Willow and Tara
exchanged a knowing grin. Now was the chance. Tara gave
a subtle nod toward Joyce but Willow looked undecided.
'You,' Willow mouthed.
Tara gave a small shake of her head and insisted with
facial gestures that Willow should be the one to say
something.
Willow knew Tara was
right. Now was the moment. If anyone should say
something to Joyce it should be her. In all honest, she
thought that maybe Buffy had already told her mom but by
the tone of the comment, both women knew Joyce was
oblivious to their relationship.
"Yeah,"
Willow began, "Uhh…A-About that Joyce..."
Willow paused. Damn
- telling my own mother was easier.
She wondered for a
moment how that could be possible. But the truth was
simple - Joyce's opinion of her mattered more.
Joyce took an interest
in not only Buffy's life but the life of her friends
too. The image of Joyce bringing them beverages and
snacks as she, Xander and Buffy lay in Buffy's bed
during video nights came back to slap her. Yeah, she
complained about waiting on them 'hand and foot' but she
really didn't mind. In fact, Willow was sure Joyce
appreciated it on some level as odd as it might sound.
If Joyce hated her or
shut her out for loving Tara, it wouldn't change her
feelings. She would still love Tara and she would still
love Joyce too but it would be a gap in her life she'd
come to know and even depend on. Willow felt her mouth
go dry and her palms grow sweaty at the thought of
continuing but she pushed on.
"I'm not sure how
to say this so I'm just gonna say it…Tara and
I…we're a couple...So the giving up on men part? Kind
of already happened."
"What?"
Joyce asked from the stairs with a confused expression. Maybe
more dumbfounded than confused, Willow considered as
she watched the woman, open and close her mouth
repeatedly without making a sound. Maybe she's in
downright shock. Willow knew she had to say
something. This silence was killing her worse than if
Joyce was screaming obscenities.
"Tara's my
girlfriend but she's also my 'girlfriend'. It's a bit
surprising I know," she offered as a means of
conversation. "It might seem-."
Willow didn't get a
chance to finish. Joyce finally regained her voice.
"You're a
lesbian? Since when?"
Willow paused. It was
the first time anyone actually called her a lesbian.
Even her mother didn't use the word.
"Well, to be
honest I haven't really thought about it like that
but…I guess I am. I just know that I love Tara despite
any political statements that my mother or anyone else
might attach to it."
"I'm sorry,"
Joyce said quickly. "I didn't mean to offend you.
I'm just-."
"No," Willow
said, stopping to reassure her. "I'm not offended
Joyce I-I…I guess I just never heard anyone say it out
loud until now. But yeah, I am." Joyce looked like
she wanted to ask a question but was holding back.
"Go ahead," Willow added. "Say what you
want to say." Even if I live to regret it
Willow added silently in her head.
Joyce pursed her lips
at first as if she wanted to find the right words.
"Have you
and…Buffy ever…?"
Joyce said letting the
sentence hang, not quite sure how finish it and maybe
more so, not sure if she wanted an answer. Yes she
wanted to be a part of Buffy's life but she didn't want
to dive too intimately into her daughter's life.
At first, Willow
wasn’t sure what Joyce was trying to say but then it
registered and her eyes widened and jaw dropped.
"Oh Gods, no!
Buffy and I are…we're not with the cuddles. Never have
been. I mean we have cuddled. Like when one of us is
sad? But it's not like the romantic kinda cuddles.
Friendship cuddles only with me and Buf," she told
Joyce with a confident nod.
"So you and Buffy
haven't…been together?"
"No," Willow
said firmly to make the point clear that she and the
Slayer had a strictly platonic relationship. But in
doing so it sounded as if Buffy wasn't worthy somehow
and Willow found herself in babble mode again. "But
that's nothing against Buffy," she added quickly.
"I mean she's cute. Well, beautiful actually. And
strong and brave and…nice curves. Plus she's got that
tough gal snarl thing when she's facing down a
vamps," Willow said with a growing grin.
Tara leaned over into
Willow's view. "Are you sure you never dated her
Will? Because it sounds like you should."
"No! No!"
Willow said waving her hands. Tara tried to remain
stoned faced but she couldn't help it. She had to grin
as she watched Willow back-peddle. Tara knew she had
Willow's heart and fidelity. But still, she enjoyed
watching Willow squirm when she'd bust her and Xander
girl watching or in moments like this. Absolutely
adorable she thought as she smiled at her nervous
girlfriend.
"No baby,"
Willow assured Tara. "I'm just… I'm a little
wigged here a-and this is just coming out all wrong.
A-And…No. My relationship with Buffy is non-smoochies
and will stay that way. I just don't want Joyce thinking
that I find Buffy like…you know… some type of leper.
That's all." Willow then turned to Joyce and added,
"Buf's got lots of great qualities but she's
totally straight."
"Oh good,"
Joyce sighed but then quickly looked up. "No! I
mean, that's fine. For you. And I guess it would be for
Buffy too but if she ever decided…It's just…"
Joyce now found herself rambling right along with Willow
and decided to shut up.
Willow held her hands
up, letting Joyce know she didn't have to go on. "I
get it. It's not the life you'd want for her."
"Exactly,"
Joyce sighed. "But not in a lesbians are bad
way," she added quickly.
"Oh no. I totally
understand," Willow reassured her again. "It's
hard enough to find a guy who can handle the Slayer gig
let alone another girl? Add to the fact that our society
isn’t the most accepting of gay folks a-and yeah I can
see your concern."
Tara started laughing
at that point and shaking her head. Joyce and her
girlfriend both looked over to see what had her so
tickled.
"I'm sorry,"
Tara began between chuckles. "It's just…listening
to you two…If there was an award for the most
politically correct coming out speeches…you both would
win hands down."
Willow and Joyce both
gave each other guilty grins.
"Here's the
bottom line Ms Summers," Tara told Joyce. "I
love Willow. She loves me. And we thought you should
know."
"Well, I'm glad
you told me," Joyce nodded.
"And just so you
know," Tara began, "…we don't go around
banging our chests about it but we don't hide it either.
We haven't told you because it hasn't come up…Well,
until today…W-Willow loves you a great deal,"
Tara added. Her stutter returned because her emotions
were taking over as she felt the need to explain.
"She doesn’t have many people close to her that
she speaks so highly of. But she does when it comes to
you…s-so that should be the main point to this
conversation. W-We just wanted to be honest with you
because you're important."
Joyce gave a grin and
began to play with her manicured fingernails telling
herself she wouldn't start to cry. Willow was important
to her too. She knew her daughter wouldn’t still be
here if Willow hadn't kept a watchful eye on her from
time to time, doing the things she was doing like
putting a protection spell on the house this moment.
Instead of speaking immediately she nodded her approval.
Finally, she cleared
her throat and looked up. "So everyone else knows I
assume?"
"Yeah. And if
it's any consolation their reactions were about the
same," Willow explained. "Xander just shouted
'Tara's your girlfriend?' before trying to get as
many…ahem…details as possible. A-and Giles' remark
was 'Bloody Hell' before he passed out. But then we had
to tell him again in the morning because he was too
drunk the night before and didn't remember."
"Giles was
drunk?" Joyce asked.
"Long
story," Willow sighed. "As for Buffy she just
kept saying my name over and over again – like she had
to remind herself it was me she was talking to so…It's
surprised everyone. You're not alone."
"What about your
folks?" Joyce asked looking at both of them.
"Dad didn't say
much one way or the other," Willow told her.
"But my mom suddenly became Betty DeGeneres. I've
gotten books and magazines and…" Willow added
with a roll of her eyes as she sighed. "She means
well but…I love Tara because I love Tara. I'm not
trying to be a rebel or trendy. I don't think she gets
it but that's par for the course."
"What about your
family?" Joyce asked Tara.
"Willow and the
scoobies are pretty much my family since I came to
Sunnydale," she shrugged, not adding more. Truth is
she hadn't spoken to her kin in over six months and that
was fine by her. She wrote them a letter now and then
with no return address, which suited her just fine.
"So," Willow
began nervously as she took two steps closer to Joyce.
"Are we okay? Because I ah…I can do a spell that
keeps us out too if you like."
Willow hoped Joyce
wouldn’t take her up on the offer but using a bit of
levity helped cure the butterflies in her stomach at the
thought of Joyce's rejection.
Joyce grinned and
stood up from the steps and she walked over to Willow
with open arms. Willow accepted the hug and Joyce kissed
her temple.
"You're welcome
here anytime you like Willow. You too Tara," Joyce
called over the Wiccan's shoulder. "Come on,"
she said pulling Willow by the hand before taking Tara's
as well. "I made brownies."
"Oooh,"
Willow exclaimed as they made their way to the kitchen.
"The ones with the walnuts and the dark chocolate
frosting?"
Joyce smiled and
nodded "Yep. Buffy told me you'd be coming over so
I made your favorite."
"Thanks mom,"
Willow said resting her head on Joyce's shoulder.
"You're my favorite mom. Have I told you
that?"
Joyce just laughed as
they finished their journey.
The End
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